Corny Joke Thread, post em here....

[Simply Me]

OMG Shy, some of those were baaaaad!

*Looking at you and pointing upwards to your jokes*

heh

 

[Weird Harold]

How many Jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one.....























But it takes at least three light bulbs.

 

[Puddles The Wonder Poodle]

Why don't Tabbys ride tricycles?




















they don't have a thumb to ring the bell

 

[Puddles The Wonder Poodle]

Why do Calico Cats wear red tennis shoes?

To hide in cherry trees.













Ever seen a Calico Cat wuith red tennis shoes hiding in as cherry tree?




























Works doesn't it!

 

[beckbabe]

What did one strawberry say to the other?









If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!


<*groaning, giggling,and running away*

 

[Weird Harold]

What's the difference...

between a teacher and a train?































The teacher says, "spit out that gum."
The Train says, "chew, chew."

 

[Dillinger]

Q: What is so rare as a day in June?






























A: A day in February, which is 6.7% more rare; except in leap year when it is still 3.3% more rare.

 

[doctor_insanus]

Why are hurricanes named after women?

They're wet and wild when they come and take your house when they leave!



Thank you! Thank you!

 

[doctor_insanus]

What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball!

 

[doctor_insanus]

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

 

[doctor_insanus]

Did you hear about the new restaurant that just opened up on
the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac?

He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

 

[doctor_insanus]

Please... stop me!

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic?
He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Did you hear about the dyslexic lawyer?
He studied all year for the bra exam.

 

[Mistress]

Geez

 

[willywanker]

Did you hear they have found a substance that decreases a woman's sex drive by 75%?
















Its called Wedding Cake.

 

[Shylady]

omg

Dr Insanus I love all those jokes lol

Willy that was just bad.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

What does a fresh egg say when you drop it in a pan of boiling water?




I just got laid and you expect me to get hard again in 5 minutes?

 

[Mistress]

What does a fresh egg say when you drop it in a pan of boiling water?




I just got laid and you expect me to get hard again in 5 minutes?

LMFAO! OMG, I love that!

 

[doctor_insanus]

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in
her life, so she placed a personal ad that read:

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP

2. WON'T RUN AWAY

3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell
was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to
no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.

Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door
to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat.

Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I'm the man of your dreams, baby! I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."

The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"

The man just smiled. "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

 

[Mistress]

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in
her life, so she placed a personal ad that read:

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP

2. WON'T RUN AWAY

3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell
was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to
no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.

Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door
to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat.

Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I'm the man of your dreams, baby! I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."

The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"

The man just smiled. "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

LOL!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Is any of this familiar?

HER STORY:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it.

The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something else.

I ask him, and he says no. But you know I'm not really sure. So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don't know what the hell this means because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally get back to his place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me!

So I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV.

Reluctantly, I say I'm going to go to sleep. Then, after about 10 minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave.

I just don't know, what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else?

HIS STORY:

Lousy day at work. Tired. Got laid though.

 

[Desert Amazon]

Irish Version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire"

 

[Desert Amazon]

Why dads aren't allowed to buy the kid's clothes

 

[Barb Dwyer]

Mistress, your sexuality thread reminded me of this oldie

What do you call a one- legged ballerina?




Ilene

 

[beckbabe]

What's the difference between a rooster, and a whore?












A rooster says "cock a doodle do", and a whore says "any cock'll do."