Coping Mechanisms

[Guest]

 

[Mellon Collie]

As strange as this sounds, I clean. It’s mindless activity that keeps me busy and lets me think about whatever just happened but not to the point where I am obsessing about it.

 

[Debbie]

Silence. Lurking. No one knows. But I am very quiet.
I still give but I am silent and deliberately invisible.
I choose to keep my shit to myself.
A private dick, I am.

 

[Kuntmode]

n/a

My life is, was and always will be perfect.

I turn other people's lives to shit because I'm a cunt.

I like to see people cry from my deeds.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Like you Foxy one I hide, I pull into myself until I can work through what is going on enough to be able to put an outward expression to it.

It is somewhat rare that I talk about it but I'm trying to get better about that.

I remember my doc saying that comforting yourself when you hurt normally comes from a long history of not having a place to turn that felt safe so you turn inward. It takes unlearning that behavior and finding someone you feel safe with to be able to express it outward rather than within.

 

[mbb308]

Some things that help me de-funk:

1) Remember that it isn't "all about me".

2) Put my nose to the next task under it which needs doing, do it to the best of my ability, and try not to worry about the outcome.

3) Try to do something for someone else, and not tell anyone else about it.

4) Look at myself to see if Fear is involved - fear of losing something I have or something I want.

5) Check my dominance/dependence levels - am I placing too much emotional importance on the acquisition or loss of something/someone? If so, I need to get that back to the right size.

I find that, by trying to do the above things, that I can maintain a measure of Humility and be a bit less wrapped up in the goings on around me.

 

[ksmybuttons]

What do you do when it all turns to shit?

My best friend talks and talks and talks, can't shut her up. She cries, too, and she doesn't mind who sees her.

Me, I hide. Don't talk to anyone, don't want to see anyone, I just hide.

What do you do?

Hide? Talk? Drink? Fight? Cry? Scream?

Tell me

Depends on why. Mostly I just endure. After a while I have realized it will eventually pass. I don't talk about it with others, but I use it as a time of self reflection.

"What can I learn from this?" is always a good place to start.

I try to be very good to myself, which will include some wallowing.

 

[erosman]

Re: Re: Coping Mechanisms

I try to be very good to myself, which will include some wallowing.

I resemble that remark!


Just for me, foxy... As long as the shit is below my knees, I am a talker, but when it gets over the top of my boots, then I go inward.



and...mbb, that's sounds like a good coping mechanism

 

[Guest]

 

[Mellon Collie]

I don’t think scum comes in pieces, maybe like a wad or something but not pieces.

 

[Guest]

 

[ksmybuttons]

Depends, I guess, on how you define "shit," too.

A bad day, flat tire, a new bump - those are annoyances.

Death- A lover, all parents and grandparents; husband's cancer, a child born 2 months early after 6 weeks in bed, husband's exploring his bisexuality (and not talking with me about it)- those were shit.

Being layed off, recoverable illnesses, low funds, changing relationships.

It all passes if you just keep going.

"Doing" is always a good way to get through as long as you also learn skills to make it through easier the next time. I try to find skills that include increasing my humanity, compassion and forgiveness.

I also try to find things of the moment that make me happy, or, at least, try to pull up the happiness they have created in the past. Eventually it becomes reality.

My daffodils are opening.

 

[Guest]

 

[The Heretic]

I eat, sleep and masturbate. I also get on Lit and argue politics - oh, wait - I do that all the time anyway.

You can tell when I get a bit frustrated; I get a little bit testy like I have been lately due to some things going bad that should have gone good.

 

[just pet]

I am on the same wavelength as mbb308, working on the first 3.


I have developed a keen sense of apathy about the mundane trivialities. If I won't remember the issue in 3 years, I don't let it get me down now.

There is a great Tibetan saying:

If there is a solution, why worry about it?
If there is no solution, why worry about it?

 

[JazzManJim]

I really don't have much in the way of coping mechanisms.

Whatever happens, I just put my head down and keep hauling until whatever needs to be done is done, then I go on to the next thing that needs to be done.

It's just the way it's been since I was a kid.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Depends on what it is that's gone to shit.

Usually, if it's something that I know will eventually pass, I arm myself with information relating to the problem, and set about making it go away.

If it's something that I know is beyond my control, I just keep on going.

I don't cry, and I very very rarely talk to people about the things that bother me the most.

 

[Zmey]

Depends on "shit". I don't hide and I don't talk> I do the other four

 

[Ice Cold]

Depends on the nature of the shit. I don't get wild and throw things about. I tend to compartamentalize it and just deal with the things I can control.

 

[watergirl]

I'm a talker. I'm not proud of it, but I do try to spread it around so no one friend has to listen to me all the time when I'm upset.
But in really serious things, I rely mostly on myself to solve them.

 

[heavenly body]

I usually try and figure out what it is that I am supposed to learn from the problem. If it is something like a death or other life events which I have no control over I will cry, talk and then go running. I feel better if I exercise and it helps distance myself from the trouble for a bit. I think to hide from the problems would not work for me. If I feel angry the exercise helps to release the stress and then I can think more clearly.

 

[april-wine]

I get very quiet....No screaming and yelling....I close off....

 

[k¡tty]

What do you do when it all turns to shit?

My best friend talks and talks and talks, can't shut her up. She cries, too, and she doesn't mind who sees her.

Me, I hide. Don't talk to anyone, don't want to see anyone, I just hide.

What do you do?

Hide? Talk? Drink? Fight? Cry? Scream?

Tell me

I'm like the others.. it just depends on what the situation is.

If it's not extremely deep or personal I share it with one or two of my closest friends.

If it is though.. I withdraw emotionally from just about everyone. I hate for anyone to see me cry.. or to hear me cry.

 

[TheOlderGuy]

What do you do when it all turns to shit?

My best friend talks and talks and talks, can't shut her up. She cries, too, and she doesn't mind who sees her.

Me, I hide. Don't talk to anyone, don't want to see anyone, I just hide.

What do you do?

Hide? Talk? Drink? Fight? Cry? Scream?

Tell me

well, i used to get depressed, go to bed, watch tv when i had cable -- nothing very useful for turning things around.

if i'm smart, i go for a walk, or play with young children, or do almost anything that will get my body in motion, and my mind out of the rut. cause, as mom always says, "it all turns out right in the end."