"Converted" gays

[Quint]

Someone stocked the breakroom of my job with "Focus on the Family" pamphlets, a strongly Christian booklet. They reminded me of a phenomenon that I have heard of several times: people learning how not to be gay. Usually "through prayer and acceptance of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" comes at this point, since I think religion is the main reason for people to WANT to not be gay.

What the dillyo? Has anyone had any close friends who have genuinely changed their orientation and stayed happy, let alone become more so? What damage does this do to GLBT organizations who base much of their ideology on the "we can't help the way we are, so whether or not we should is a moot point" sort of statements? I'm troubled by these stories, because it's hard for me to believe that someone could honestly go through that process and emerge complete. Help me out here.

 

[anne27]

Someone stocked the breakroom of my job with "Focus on the Family" pamphlets, a strongly Christian booklet. They reminded me of a phenomenon that I have heard of several times: people learning how not to be gay. Usually "through prayer and acceptance of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" comes at this point, since I think religion is the main reason for people to WANT to not be gay.

What the dillyo? Has anyone had any close friends who have genuinely changed their orientation and stayed happy, let alone become more so? What damage does this do to GLBT organizations who base much of their ideology on the "we can't help the way we are, so whether or not we should is a moot point" sort of statements? I'm troubled by these stories, because it's hard for me to believe that someone could honestly go through that process and emerge complete. Help me out here.

Personally, I think it just amounts to brainwashing. Telling someone often enough and long enough, with pressure from their family and friends, that they are going to burn eternally in a firey Hell for their desires is enough to make anyone lose their mind.

 

[deezire1900]

I have one thing to say to those weirdos


Don't be stupid.

 

[sigh]

I have one thing to say to those weirdos


Don't be stupid.

I just had to smile when I read this, and then got a little sad. I mean, we're calling them weirdos (and that's exactly how I thought of them when I read the first post too), but you just know they'd be appalled by that.

In their world, we're the weird ones, right?

We're so far apart that each side is alien to the other. When you look at it that way, reaching across for understanding just seems so hopeless.

 

[Quint]

I just had to smile when I read this, and then got a little sad. I mean, we're calling them weirdos (and that's exactly how I thought of them when I read the first post too), but you just know they'd be appalled by that.

In their world, we're the weird ones, right?

We're so far apart that each side is alien to the other. When you look at it that way, reaching across for understanding just seems so hopeless.

This is exactly where I'm coming from. I was raised Christian and I've come back to a similar place but I was not and have never been the sort that condemns nonhetero relationships or desires. That's one part "I'm not a bloody hypocrite" and one part "I hear your arguments why nonhetero is bad but they don't convince me in the least." I don't want to resort to calling them blind, closeminded idiots because I'm then just as closeminded on the opposite end of the fence. (Though I retain the belief that I'm right and therefore not an idiot. )

So I really just want to hear about the reality. A genuine experience, not doctored by the press and presented in the light that best sells the Sanctity of Marriage argument. Something to give me enough information that I CAN feel justified saying "they're a bunch of blind, closeminded idiots."

 

[College_geek]

There were a few episodes on Queer as Folk that brought up this theme. I found it interesting on how some of the people the "group" were dead serious about "fixing their problem". I also agree with the little speech thing at the end...more or less "you are who you are, and God will love you for who you are". I'm not a religious person, but I felt it was a good point for anyone in that type of situation. It's a shame that they put out these pamphlets, stressing that it's a "burden to the family" and "what about the children?". I haven't read any story about a child growing up oddly because of gay or lesbian parents, especially if taught from birth that there is nothing wrong with it and it is perfectly normal.

 

[Regis2001]

An interesting little side note to this debate: it strikes me as odd that while homosexuals/bisexuals 'recruiting' is seen as a threat, heterosexuals recruiting is nothing more than an indication of their faith.

To most people, the idea of either sort of 'recruiting' is ridiculous. You either are attracted to members of the same sex or you aren't, and nobody telling you otherwise will make the blindest bit of difference. However, is this the case? Obviously you cannot be convinced not to be attracted to a certain group of people, however much you pretend. However, if someone is attracted to the opposite sex, they might be bisexual and simply not have explored the possibility. Under such circumstances, it would be entirely possible for that person to be introduced to the possibility of a same-sex relationship, which otherwise they might not have contemplated. This could be said to be a form of recruiting, in that it awakens a person to their bisexuality who would otherwise have considered themselves perfectly straight.

Just my thoughts on an unrelated matter. Have a nice day!

 

[Betticus]

I don't know if this will help or not. The headquarters for Focus on the Family is located in Colorado Springs. To the people of Colorado this is just about the biggest joke ever. The sale of bumper stickers that read "Focus on your own damn family" is pretty healthy there.

A friend of mine applied for a job there when she got divorced and was looking for anything. It was a receptionist type of thing. They told her that she couldn't work there as she was going through a divorce which is anathema to those people and that in order to work for them you have to be a member of their church.

They are regarded mainly as an off the wall cult.

Just ask yourself from now on when you are having a moral dilemma about who you are attracted to if Jesus would hate you for being who you are. The answer is no, Jesus was about love and acceptance. Anyone who hates his brother or sister or passes judgement on them is living a life outside the teachings of Jesus.

I for one know that those people are closed minded hypocrites. Shit, I almost forgot. My ex girlfriend used to work for a maid service in the Springs. She cleaned a house a few times for a woman who's family was big in that Focus on the Family church. She told me that not only was the woman extremely rude, looking down on her and refusing to even speak to her as if cleaning was beneath her but that she routinely beat her little daughter for the smallest of things. Said that she didn't tip either. They eventually had to drop her as a client as no one ever wanted to go back. I guess she was focusing too hard on her family. It would have killed her to know the girl cleaning her house was a bisexual.

 

[DarkAurora]

Your ex girlfriend should have called Family Services on the "lady". I'm sure the child has plenty of bruises on them, so it would be easy to approve the abuse.

 

[KissMeFool]

People can end up with all sorts of mental conditions because of shit like that! - "We don't mind if you're gay, just don't show it!"

 

[Etoile]

I don't know anybody who knows anybody who could claim they're an ex gay, but it's certainly in the press a lot. Hell, the Ex Gay movement recruits a LOT more than queers ever would! (Hmm, do you think they award microwaves?)