Controversial Topic WARNING - Be open to differences in opinions
- Thread starter *bratcat*
- Start date
birth it and care for it if it is feasable depends ofn her maturity level.
Take the boy to the altar by way of shot gun
or
Take him to court to make sure the sucka pay for it.
Of if she is not mature enough tomother the child then adoption there are hundreds of couples that want children that cannot have them
Take the boy to the altar by way of shot gun
or
Take him to court to make sure the sucka pay for it.
Of if she is not mature enough tomother the child then adoption there are hundreds of couples that want children that cannot have them
Angel
Cuntbeans
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I got pregnant at 16 and I hid it from my entire family.
I lost that baby too, and so nobody ever found out, but they would have if I had had him.
I was deathly afraid that I would be forced to abort my baby or give him up for adoption. Yes, I was just a baby myself but I would have raised him.
Quite honestly, after my experience I would tell my daughter to do what she felt was right in her heart. I could never EVER force that decision on my child. Should she chose an abortion, regardless of my feelings on the subject I would support her, pay for it and provide whatever she needed to deal with it mentally.
Should she decide to put her baby up for adoption, I would support that too.
Should she decide to keep her baby, I would support that too. I would help her out with daycare so she could finish school and also work a part time job to help support her baby. I would do this all through her college if I had to so that she could move on to support herself and her child instead of being stuck in the system like I was for most of my adolescence.
I'd do the same for my son as well if it came down to it.
I could never make my child give up HER child. I know what it feels like to love someone as much as you love your own kids, and what it feels like to have them ripped away against your wishes. I would NEVER EVER force than on someone else.
I lost that baby too, and so nobody ever found out, but they would have if I had had him.
I was deathly afraid that I would be forced to abort my baby or give him up for adoption. Yes, I was just a baby myself but I would have raised him.
Quite honestly, after my experience I would tell my daughter to do what she felt was right in her heart. I could never EVER force that decision on my child. Should she chose an abortion, regardless of my feelings on the subject I would support her, pay for it and provide whatever she needed to deal with it mentally.
Should she decide to put her baby up for adoption, I would support that too.
Should she decide to keep her baby, I would support that too. I would help her out with daycare so she could finish school and also work a part time job to help support her baby. I would do this all through her college if I had to so that she could move on to support herself and her child instead of being stuck in the system like I was for most of my adolescence.
I'd do the same for my son as well if it came down to it.
I could never make my child give up HER child. I know what it feels like to love someone as much as you love your own kids, and what it feels like to have them ripped away against your wishes. I would NEVER EVER force than on someone else.
shadowsource
A Flash In The Pain
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That would depend on her -
But if she wished to have an abortion, I'd be extremely comfortable with that, and then I would try to help her with the inevitable poor feelings that follow such a profound event. I certainly wouldn't pressure her to have one, but one of the reasons I am fanatically pro choice is the way teen females are expected to wreck their lives because they - and someone else who shall remain blameless and nameless - got sloppy for a moment. She would be encouraged to be smarter in the future.
But if she wished to have an abortion, I'd be extremely comfortable with that, and then I would try to help her with the inevitable poor feelings that follow such a profound event. I certainly wouldn't pressure her to have one, but one of the reasons I am fanatically pro choice is the way teen females are expected to wreck their lives because they - and someone else who shall remain blameless and nameless - got sloppy for a moment. She would be encouraged to be smarter in the future.
brat, I'm not a parent yet, but I have feelings about his subject because a relative was pregnant at the age of 17. Actually NOT only because of that, I will freely admit that I am pro choice. It's not my body, if a woman chooses either way, I am fine with their decision, it's not mine to make.
My cousin decided to have the child, if only to "get back" at her mother, the stupid thing is, she had no idea what she was getting back at her mother for. The father almost literally is a piece of shit loser, who never supported his son, or her for that matter.
His own son was never referred to by name only as the boy, or our kid. As soon as my cousin told him he had to start supporting their child, he quit his job, and they broke up. She isn't close to being an angel at all by the way. Mah-Mah is a convienient baby sitter whenever mom wants to go out and party. At the age of 3, he only started calling his real mom, mommy. Where as he used to call Mah-Mah, mommy.
I tried to tell her that she should follow her heart, but her heart still isn't really in it, to be honest. If asked, I would ALWAYS try to get this point across to the girl/woman.
If this was either one of my two sisters, ages 15 and 16, it might be harder, than talking to a cousin, but the points would always be the same. It's YOUR decision, and I support you 100%, I'll always be here for you whenever you need me.
I should add this part, as a side note... About 10 years ago, when I was working for a computer company, the owners brother in law was a Doctor, so we were sent to his offices to do some work. Not until we walked through the door, did my boss ask me if I knew what kind of doctors' office it was. As I said, I am pro chice, BUT, people can't always assume that it's ok for everyone. What if I was strictly pro life?
When we exited the office, tehy sent us through the worst possible place they could have sent us. Wanna guess where? That's right, they VIOLATED their patients PRIVACY, and trust, by sending us through the recovery room. I didn't look any of the girls tehre in the face directly,. but kind of glanced around, and you could tell they were in pain of some form or another, physical or emotional. That didn't change my mind about my stance, but it made me hate the people who were in charge of sending us through that room.
Ric
My cousin decided to have the child, if only to "get back" at her mother, the stupid thing is, she had no idea what she was getting back at her mother for. The father almost literally is a piece of shit loser, who never supported his son, or her for that matter.
His own son was never referred to by name only as the boy, or our kid. As soon as my cousin told him he had to start supporting their child, he quit his job, and they broke up. She isn't close to being an angel at all by the way. Mah-Mah is a convienient baby sitter whenever mom wants to go out and party. At the age of 3, he only started calling his real mom, mommy. Where as he used to call Mah-Mah, mommy.
I tried to tell her that she should follow her heart, but her heart still isn't really in it, to be honest. If asked, I would ALWAYS try to get this point across to the girl/woman.
If this was either one of my two sisters, ages 15 and 16, it might be harder, than talking to a cousin, but the points would always be the same. It's YOUR decision, and I support you 100%, I'll always be here for you whenever you need me.
I should add this part, as a side note... About 10 years ago, when I was working for a computer company, the owners brother in law was a Doctor, so we were sent to his offices to do some work. Not until we walked through the door, did my boss ask me if I knew what kind of doctors' office it was. As I said, I am pro chice, BUT, people can't always assume that it's ok for everyone. What if I was strictly pro life?
When we exited the office, tehy sent us through the worst possible place they could have sent us. Wanna guess where? That's right, they VIOLATED their patients PRIVACY, and trust, by sending us through the recovery room. I didn't look any of the girls tehre in the face directly,. but kind of glanced around, and you could tell they were in pain of some form or another, physical or emotional. That didn't change my mind about my stance, but it made me hate the people who were in charge of sending us through that room.
Ric
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cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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I'm unalterably pro-choice...
... but if this happened to my daughter, i'd explain *all* the options and allow her to choose which she wanted.
If she chose an abortion, it would be arranged and counselling as necessary provided.
If she chose to have it and give it up for adoption, open adoption or closed, such would be arranged and i'd help her with every decision that came along during the process. Again, she'd be offered counselling as necessary.
If she chose to have and raise it, in all honesty, i'd probably try to dissuade her from that path (depending on her age, i'd try more or less gently, of course). Such is a very hard road for a very young girl. Such a decision would almost excludes her entirely from anything akin to "normalcy" during the rest of her teen years and almost guarantees her slow start into college (or a no-start there). I'd never ever make the decision for her, but i'd give her my honest input. She'd be entitled to nothing less. However, i am *not* going to raise her child while she continues on blithely with her life, same as Before She Gave Birth.
I hope she never gets pregnant until the baby will be a joy in her life, until she's ready to be a mother, the best job in the world when you're aching to take it on. She's now just turned 13. She has 14-year-old girlfriends, one of which i'm holding my breath on already; i think that one will be pregnant by 17.
Teenaged girls need structure and love from thier parents. They need rules, rules that make sense and don't change from week to week, from household to household (if the parents are divorced), and rules that are uniformly enforced. They need these rules just as much as a five-year-old touring the acre of wilderness behind the house needs rules about what he can put in his mouth and where he cannot go.
One sets the stage for teenaged actions and decisions when a girl is very young. If one gives her a good solid foundation of morality (and i'm not confusing this with religion, either; they are not [necessarily] the same thing in my mind), and instills into her soul that she is loved and of value, then one must allow her to stumble a little when she begins to try her wings a bit as a young teenager. One must trust that her decisions, when she's making them away from parental eyes, will be sound.
I don't think this will happen to my daughter.
But then, what parent ever does?
If it does, i will help her.
Always.
... but if this happened to my daughter, i'd explain *all* the options and allow her to choose which she wanted.
If she chose an abortion, it would be arranged and counselling as necessary provided.
If she chose to have it and give it up for adoption, open adoption or closed, such would be arranged and i'd help her with every decision that came along during the process. Again, she'd be offered counselling as necessary.
If she chose to have and raise it, in all honesty, i'd probably try to dissuade her from that path (depending on her age, i'd try more or less gently, of course). Such is a very hard road for a very young girl. Such a decision would almost excludes her entirely from anything akin to "normalcy" during the rest of her teen years and almost guarantees her slow start into college (or a no-start there). I'd never ever make the decision for her, but i'd give her my honest input. She'd be entitled to nothing less. However, i am *not* going to raise her child while she continues on blithely with her life, same as Before She Gave Birth.
I hope she never gets pregnant until the baby will be a joy in her life, until she's ready to be a mother, the best job in the world when you're aching to take it on. She's now just turned 13. She has 14-year-old girlfriends, one of which i'm holding my breath on already; i think that one will be pregnant by 17.
Teenaged girls need structure and love from thier parents. They need rules, rules that make sense and don't change from week to week, from household to household (if the parents are divorced), and rules that are uniformly enforced. They need these rules just as much as a five-year-old touring the acre of wilderness behind the house needs rules about what he can put in his mouth and where he cannot go.
One sets the stage for teenaged actions and decisions when a girl is very young. If one gives her a good solid foundation of morality (and i'm not confusing this with religion, either; they are not [necessarily] the same thing in my mind), and instills into her soul that she is loved and of value, then one must allow her to stumble a little when she begins to try her wings a bit as a young teenager. One must trust that her decisions, when she's making them away from parental eyes, will be sound.
I don't think this will happen to my daughter.
But then, what parent ever does?
If it does, i will help her.
Always.
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Laurel
Kitty Mama
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What does the girl want? What does the father of her child want? They're the ones who have to live with the decision - not her parents. If she wants an abortion and the father of the child is adamant that the child not aborted, then the father should 1) pay for the medical bills and 2) take custody of the child when it's born.
No matter what decision is, the father needs to be told about the kid and needs to take equal financial responsibility. He's just as responsible for that kid as she is. For him to be allowed to skate out and leave her with the decision, the medical bills, and the stress is bullshit.
No matter what decision is, the father needs to be told about the kid and needs to take equal financial responsibility. He's just as responsible for that kid as she is. For him to be allowed to skate out and leave her with the decision, the medical bills, and the stress is bullshit.
Dreamweaver72
Experienced
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Well nothing like a good subject to sink your teeth into.....My Daughter did get pregnant at 15, and we went thru all the options, I was outta the house at this point, but the ex wanted nothing to do with this descision, since she threw me out, it became all my fault.....anyway, she decided to have the baby, and boy was a couple of years older, and when they became of age they got married.....Had a couple of more kids, and then the marriage melted down....No matter how you make the call, you never know how it will end...It didn't end all bad....My daughter and the grand kids are doing fine, she has handled it all better than I thought she would, But if I had to do it all over again, I think teaching is the best way, we ahve all the options we can choose before us....but education would be the best answer, then we may not have to answer questions like this. I believe to hold all persons responsible, parents included. And make the descision best for them...I hope this made some kind of point....It is a hard discussion, but this is where I have been..
Dreamweaver72
Experienced
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And Cat......I have missed ya...
Mischka
Ms Snooby Pants
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You're presuming that people wait until they're mature. Some people's bodies develop a lot faster than their minds. And then there are the hapless souls that honestly don't understand how they got pregnant. Had one of those in my health class in high school.nasty said:
Trinka
Really Experienced
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life changing thought...
I usually frame the abortion question in this way:
My grandma had my father out of wedlock in the 1940's, back in the day when having sex before marraige was a big thing. If she would have chosen an abortion (and that is something I know she would have never considered) I would not be sitting here this day.
...just something to think about...
I usually frame the abortion question in this way:
My grandma had my father out of wedlock in the 1940's, back in the day when having sex before marraige was a big thing. If she would have chosen an abortion (and that is something I know she would have never considered) I would not be sitting here this day.
...just something to think about...
FlamingoBlue
a simple country lawyer
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A tough call, but.....
Although I have never had to anguish over that decision with my daughter, we did discuss the topic of sex and abortion, at length. Abortion was determined to be the only appropriate course of action for my teenage/unmarried daughter, in the event of an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy.
I do not believe it appropriate to burden (punish) a child with a child of her own. Nor do I feel it appropriate to have a child carried to term and then placed for adoption. That's my opinion.
Abortion, for me, is not a license to have unprotected sex. Neither is it meant to encourage promiscuity. Abortion, under proper medical supervision, accompanied by counselling, is a tool to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.
I realize that this is a very personal decision and that there is no right or wrong answer. I also understand that others may have a different opinion than mine. I can respect that as I would expect them to respect my opinion.
blue
Although I have never had to anguish over that decision with my daughter, we did discuss the topic of sex and abortion, at length. Abortion was determined to be the only appropriate course of action for my teenage/unmarried daughter, in the event of an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy.
I do not believe it appropriate to burden (punish) a child with a child of her own. Nor do I feel it appropriate to have a child carried to term and then placed for adoption. That's my opinion.
Abortion, for me, is not a license to have unprotected sex. Neither is it meant to encourage promiscuity. Abortion, under proper medical supervision, accompanied by counselling, is a tool to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.
I realize that this is a very personal decision and that there is no right or wrong answer. I also understand that others may have a different opinion than mine. I can respect that as I would expect them to respect my opinion.
blue
Angel
Cuntbeans
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nasty said:
So don't get an abortion then.
Is a married couple who wants children but cannot afford to feed one at this point in time stop having sex? Or should they have an abortion when responsible, protected sex results in a pregnancy they are unable to handle financially or mentally at this point in time?
Should a rape victim be forced to carry her child to term?
Angel
Cuntbeans
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nasty said:
So is forcing a woman who has been traumatized by having someone forcibly ream her vagina with their penis to not only carry her rapist's child in her womb for nine months, to feel every move it makes, to hear it's heartbeat and to give it medical care but to lay there in labor, pushing the child out and have to see it too? Some women can handle that. Some can't.
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
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My husband and I discussed this not too long ago. As the mother of two girls, it is a very real possibility that one all too soon I may become a grandmother. Basically, after laying out all of her options, it will be up to my daughter. I personally do not consider abortion a viable alternative, but I will drive my daughter to the clinic, hold her hand throughout, and carry her home if that is what she chooses. I will raise her child if she wishes or stand with her when she gives it up for adoption if need be. The only thing my husband and I agree on is they will never, ever have to face this alone.
I know first hand the problems unplanned pregnancies can bring. I have lost three pregnancies and one of my girls was not conceived with my consent (forgive the euphemism, that word still hurts). I was alone for all of it (mostly due to my own stubborness) and I would die before I would let either of them suffer the same.
I know first hand the problems unplanned pregnancies can bring. I have lost three pregnancies and one of my girls was not conceived with my consent (forgive the euphemism, that word still hurts). I was alone for all of it (mostly due to my own stubborness) and I would die before I would let either of them suffer the same.
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