Controlling children!!

[T.H. Oughts]

My nine year old is being a right little shit the last few weeks.... going through a cheeky stage big time... being mean to his sister and then they play lovely 1/2 an hour later...

I told him this morning he had to go straight to his bedroom when he got home today as he used the F word this morning when yelling at his sister, hid her toy, would not feed the cats...

I mostly use *time out* in the bedroom or taking away treats as punishment.... but even that is not working lately... he just flatly refuses to go to his room, rants and yells, runs outside.... '

Besides me beating him in submission what can I do????? I would never hit him.

I know it is more a stage he is going through than his true personality or mental state...

Any suggestions to calm and control a kid that has no reasoning....

 

[Sillyman]

Two words: Piano Wire.

 

[Ice Cold]

Two words: Wire Hangers

 

[Guest]

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Two words: Wire Hangers

Hiya Darlin, long time no see.

If I could only catch him first...

 

[Guest]

 

[T.H. Oughts]

9 years old?? Time to take for grounding

We do that... but after school when it's just me I can not physically make him go to his room for time out...

 

[T.H. Oughts]

wow, my kids would never dream of using the f word.

They just know not to.

the word is never used at me... only occasionaly at his sister if he thinks I can not hear him... he does not know what if means... just the power of hearing other kids at school using it..

 

[Monazwx]

Two words: Piano Wire.

OUCH!!!

It's time for "The Talk"

THOughts, you need to take back control NOW, before puberty really kicks in.

 

[Ice Cold]

Hiya Darlin, long time no see.

If I could only catch him first...

Hey Beautiful

Sometimes you have to wait them out... they have to sleep sometimes. Then you can move in on them.

 

[Sillyman]

We do that... but after school when it's just me I can not physically make him go to his room for time out...

Hire a babysitter, and by that I mean someone large to physically sit on him while he is grounded. Preferably someone who eats a lot of cabbage. That'll learn 'em.

 

[Smiley777]

And now, the beatings shall commence!

 

[Guest]

 

[Bindii]

Whoa! Who's the parent in this relationship? Who's in charge here?

If you won't give him a smack (well earned by the sounds of it) then try taking away everything that he likes...tv access, bikes, toys, computers and other privledges.

Either that or get Mr Oughts to beat him into submission for ya!

 

[T.H. Oughts]

You need to take control NOW, before puberty really kicks in.

But how?????? He just stands there and yells... "I'm NOT going to my room, you can not make me"

 

[KillerMuffin]

Take more putative measures that don't rely on you manhandling him. He's going to be too big for that pretty soon anyway.

Remove things and make him earn them back with his behavior.

You can take plugs, wires, videos, game controllers, even tasty food away from him.

Get a chest of some sort with a lock and stick every single toy he possesses into it. Make him earn them back one at a time. Every day he doesn't act like a snot, he gets a toy. The day he acts like a snot, he loses everything.

That's one of the methods we use. It works better than spanking because it's a consequence and a reward system that lasts a long time.

Dunno if actually works or not. We've never gotten farther than three days before handing him all of his stuff back. *sigh*

 

[Jimi]

Abuse no - but at 9 - grab ...

the arm, and suggest firmly that the behaviuor is unacceptable - and he WILL go to his room for at LEAST an hour - without ANY access to electronic media - PERIOD!

I am reaping the negative benefits of giving in to my S.O's liberal child-rearing habits - my son @ 14 can be an absolute little bastard - and abusive to his Mum - who "caves" all the time, anyway. It is to the point where I've given up - if I hit him, I go to jail....

Please T.H. - be strict and be lovingly firm. It will help in the longterm.

On a lighter note: Our Gentle Painted Man could maybe just do a Maori-inspired LEER at the kid - to scare him into shape! Give S. my regards -

 

[T.H. Oughts]

If you won't give him a smack (well earned by the sounds of it) then try taking away everything that he likes...tv access, bikes, toys, computers and other privledges.

His total of punishments this week are adding up...

1. No TV for this week, morning and evening.
2. No playing with friends after school.
3. In bedroom after school till dinner.
4. No pocket money this week.
5. No computer.

Next?????

 

[Guest]

 

[Sillyman]

His total of punishments this week are adding up...

1. No TV for this week, morning and evening.
2. No playing with friends after school.
3. In bedroom after school till dinner.
4. No pocket money this week.
5. No computer.

Next?????

Start feeding him gruel.

 

[Guest]

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: Abuse no - but at 9 - grab ...

Please T.H. - be strict and be lovingly firm. It will help in the longterm.

I'm trying to do that.... My Dad would thrash us for the smallest thing and my Mum would say, "Wait till your Father gets home" or she would use the wooden spoon".

So pyscial stuff makes me wanna puke..

I shall go try the hand on the arm action...

Thanks everyone...

 

[Debbie]

I would be asking him what is going on with him.
Sometimes they act out 'cos of stuff at school
and home is a safe environment.

I can still get my 14 yr old in his room, physically if need
be and he knows I mean business. I don't hurt him
but I can fireman lift him and plonk him on his bed.

A cold shower works wonders too when they are really
angry.
Also is his sister annoying him without her getting caught?

 

[Monazwx]

Make these punishments indefinite.

NO pocket money until you say, etc.
Taking away food will get you into trouble with DCF.

He needs to know that there are limits and consequences for stepping out of bounds.

 

[Bindii]

His total of punishments this week are adding up...

1. No TV for this week, morning and evening.
2. No playing with friends after school.
3. In bedroom after school till dinner.
4. No pocket money this week.
5. No computer.

Next?????

Yes but are you following through with them? Is he in his bedroom after school till dinner?

My personal favoutites include

Standing with their nose touching the wall till I say stop - the amount of time usually depends on whether or not I remember that they are still there or not. And chores.....I love using chores as punishment "Right now you've done it! Get your butt out there and mow the lawn" Work off some of that energy.