Control what you eat....

[Dosxx82256]

I've recently come across a sub, with whom, so far, I am very connected. She does, however, have an interest that I know very little about, but I am eager to try. She wants me to control her in non-sexual ways, particularly what she eats. I'm not really sure how to proceed with this or what she really internally wished to achieve from this through me. Can anyone explain this a bit more to me? I am figuring there is more to it than just telling her to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch and a salad for dinner.

I look forward to hearing from the very knowledgeable folks around here.

Thanks.

 

[myinnerslut]

i suppose one can say that A and i do this as well, though not to the degree of micromanagment. i am supposed to eat healthy every day. if i dont i have to do a "penalty" of 50 situps or pushups (situps the first time pushups the second, situps the third, etc etc). it is up to me to decide what is "healthy", but it does afford him some control over my eating.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[myinnerslut]

or you could restrict her favorite foods as a discipline technique and allow her some of her favorite as a reward.

 

[scorpio4uok]

Ahh but a littl;e bit of what you fancy is benifical to a good heart

 

[ShyVixen]

I've recently come across a sub, with whom, so far, I am very connected. She does, however, have an interest that I know very little about, but I am eager to try. She wants me to control her in non-sexual ways, particularly what she eats. I'm not really sure how to proceed with this or what she really internally wished to achieve from this through me. Can anyone explain this a bit more to me? I am figuring there is more to it than just telling her to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch and a salad for dinner.

I look forward to hearing from the very knowledgeable folks around here.

Thanks.

Everyone has given you great advice. I'm just going to reiterate what Cutie Mouse said, the person you need to talk to is her. There may not be more to it than "telling her to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch..." Ask her what she wants to wants to achieve by this form of control.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Jesus Christ! BDSM seems like....fucking therapy.

Why would anyone want to take on a 'project'? Way too many doms act like goddamned servants. Tell the bitch to put the fork down or she's out the door. There are plenty of women out there who dont need the struggle and drama, either. And they do what theyre supposed to do because thats how they are naturally. It feels right to them. Submission is congruent with their personality.

Anything else is bullshit.

 

[Chicklet]

I was in a relationship with a PYL for a short while who had a great desire to control what I ate. Since he wasn't with me all the time, it was sort of difficult to find a good way to play that out.

The way *we* solved it was through text messages. I'd already have an idea of what I wanted to eat, and I'd just ask permission. He'd say yes or no, and on the occasion of a text message not going through on time, we had a rule that if ten minutes went by without a response I'd just assume 'yes.'

In the situation where I was with friends and a delay or having to ask for permission would be awkward, I either asked in advance or let him know later what I'd decided.

It can work reasonably, but I'll warn you, it ended up driving me sort of crazy. I just personally don't want that kind of control But don't let anyone say I won't try anything for a short period.

 

[HottieMama]

I've recently come across a sub, with whom, so far, I am very connected. She does, however, have an interest that I know very little about, but I am eager to try. She wants me to control her in non-sexual ways, particularly what she eats. I'm not really sure how to proceed with this or what she really internally wished to achieve from this through me. Can anyone explain this a bit more to me? I am figuring there is more to it than just telling her to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch and a salad for dinner.

I look forward to hearing from the very knowledgeable folks around here.

Thanks.

Perhaps the first thing to do is find out why she wants this. Is it because she is trying to lose weight? Does she have an eating disorder and need help keeping it in check? Or is it quite "simply" a control issue?

If you are not familiar with the basics of nutrition and especially women's nutritional needs, i would also recommend brushing up on those before you attempted this.

My relationship does involve some of this. Not to the degree of micromanagement and it is meant to help me with some specific things. (If you have any other questions feel free to PM. )

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Jesus Christ! BDSM seems like....fucking therapy.

Why would anyone want to take on a 'project'? Way too many doms act like goddamned servants. Tell the bitch to put the fork down or she's out the door. There are plenty of women out there who dont need the struggle and drama, either. And they do what theyre supposed to do because thats how they are naturally. It feels right to them. Submission is congruent with their personality.

Anything else is bullshit.

such a nice smile and such a mean Dom?

your sub don't have it easy with you, does she? lol

 

[Quint]

Jesus Christ! BDSM seems like....fucking therapy.

Why would anyone want to take on a 'project'? Way too many doms act like goddamned servants. Tell the bitch to put the fork down or she's out the door. There are plenty of women out there who dont need the struggle and drama, either. And they do what theyre supposed to do because thats how they are naturally. It feels right to them. Submission is congruent with their personality.

Anything else is bullshit.

Hence why T and I stopped trying to squeeze ourselves into Dom-with-a-big-D/sub-with-a-little-s. Now if something sounds fun to me, we try it without worrying about if it's proper, or if I have the right to ask him to do something FOR me, or who is serving whom.

In other words...we eat what we like!

 

[FurryFury]

If he wants to do it and she's into it what the problem here? Oh, it's not YOUR kink? So what?

It's not my kink either. Heaven help the person who tries to control what I eat cause that there territory is MINE all MINE but WTF is the problem with two other people that want to do this doing it?

That's right, noffin.

 

[Puman]

Hence why T and I stopped trying to squeeze ourselves into Dom-with-a-big-D/sub-with-a-little-s. Now if something sounds fun to me, we try it without worrying about if it's proper, or if I have the right to ask him to do something FOR me, or who is serving whom.

In other words...we eat what we like!

Couldn't have said it better myself...

Though I will admit that for me, this would be a great way to stay healthy/lose weight etc... especially on those days when your discipline seems to take a back seat.

 

[omniavincet]

I'll second CutieMouse's advice to follow up with more discussion - the best kinks can be buried deep! But for my part, I love it when my wife gives me non-sexual jobs to do from cleaning the bathroom to beating the rugs, whatever. I'd certainly dig it if she told me what to eat, even though I have no particular desire for someone to mess with my eating habits. It may be that eating was the first thing that came to her mind - but maybe she really wants you to exert more control over her generally?

 

[littleone77]

Hmmm, is my vocab rusty or is the original question hinting at tpe? (total power exchange?)

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[LittleJade]

I don't think this is quite the same thing, but when Sir and I began talking, he asked what my goals are... not just with him, but in general. One of my goals is to lose quite a bit of weight, and another is to boost my immune system, so that I can visit my mom during her chemo.

Sir recently instructed me to begin a journal at fitday.com. I record what I eat, when I eat it, etc. It tracks my calories, my fats, etc... and it tracks my activities, as well.

Yesterday, I had considered making a very carb-heavy meal for dinner... when I suggested that to Sir, he mentioned the carb factor... so I re-thought my plans, and ended up making a delicious omelette for my sweetie and myself. Filling, lower in carbs, good protein, etc...

He's not controlling what I eat... but he's making me more conscious of it, and encouraging me to do new things, better things, for myself.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I have food allergies and skin problems that are caused by food allergies.

I was always pretty good about avoiding my trigger foods but my main solution was simply never to have them in my flat. Now that Master and I are living together I can no longer live in an unsullied rye bread and soya milk haven. Food that Master likes is all over the kitchen and as a result my willpower has had something of an uphill struggle.

When I've eaten trigger foods my skin has flared up and that makes any kind of sexual play less pleasurable for both of us because I itch all over and look far from my usual sexy self. Master has quickly got impatient with this. He now keeps his food in a specific cupboard that I don't look in or on top of it where I can't reach. So now I only have the fridge/freezer to worry about.

The other day I bought a very small chocolate bar, maybe 20g of chocolate, because I was pre-menstrual and really craved it. Master's response?

"If you eat that I'd better not hear a single murmour of complaint when I tie you up and spend a good half hour fucking your ass tonight."

So he ate the chocolate. Winners all round then

 

[Betticus]

Jesus Christ! BDSM seems like....fucking therapy.

Why would anyone want to take on a 'project'? Way too many doms act like goddamned servants. Tell the bitch to put the fork down or she's out the door. There are plenty of women out there who dont need the struggle and drama, either. And they do what theyre supposed to do because thats how they are naturally. It feels right to them. Submission is congruent with their personality.

Anything else is bullshit.

Ahahahahhahahaahhahahahaahha....... hehehe...

I just felt a breath of fresh air go through the room.

 

[pandoravampire]

Id want to know that motivating force behind her wanting you to control what she's eating.

Does she now, or has she ever had food 'issues' that lean into the eating disorder camp. If she has, i wouldnt touch it with yours.

If she wishes to alter her body, lose weight, then its not about eating at all. Its about lifestyle, that takes into account, calorie in put and output. A couch potatoe, will not be able to adjust their body weight and keep it stable by diet alone.

If she's otherwise healthy, and just wants to improve her overall fitness by losing some extra pounds, send her to a personal trainer, and YOU ensure she attends for the first 3 months. After which she should of learnt enough/gained enough to stand on her own two feet with it.

If its something around micro-management D/s, watch The Secretary film yourself, or together, and ask her if that's what she's on about.

And just coz someone wants micro-management in the diet dept, dont necessarily mean they'd enjoy it in the wardrobe dept. So ask her, what is it she wants, and why? and why she hasnt done it before now for herself.
Its her repsonsibility to look after herself, and she's accountable to you.

good luck
pandoravampire

 

[FurryFury]

It's not my kink but if it's two other's kink, more power to them.

I'm not that hard to get to eat some. As long as it's not meat or something just put in it a BOWL (that's important) with a spoon in front of me. Chances are, I'll eat it.

LOL!

 

[twysted73]

Sometimes my "mental Movie Theatre" needs a break

If he wants to do it and she's into it what the problem here? Oh, it's not YOUR kink? So what?

It's not my kink either. Heaven help the person who tries to control what I eat cause that there territory is MINE all MINE but WTF is the problem with two other people that want to do this doing it?

That's right, noffin.

Ok, this answer is just effing adorable not to point out. I particularly enjoy the "noffin" at the end. Can you feel/see the protruding bottom lip there?

*snort*

 

[FurryFury]

*blushes*

Why thank ya!

*blushes*

 

[nh23]

You'll probably need to discuss this further with her, to understand what she wishes to achieve from it, but a lot of people do BDSM outside of the bedroom - extending to what the submissive wears, eats, bathroom privlidges, etc.

As with MIS, it sould be as simple as "eat healthy"; it could be as complex as "½ scoop of mashed potatoes and 7 peas; as much ice cream/dessert as you want." (Secretary reference)

She could be viewing it as an conscious (frequent) reminder of the control she has surrendered; it could be that she wishes your assistance in losing weight; it could be she wishes your assistance/motivation in gaining weight; it could be that she knows she needs more vegetables in her diet, but lacks the willpower to do it all alone; it could be that she's hoping you'll order her to eat phallic-shaped foods for 10 days straight, just because it sounds kinky.

LOL...*pondering on why the thought of being ordered to eat phallic-shaped foods for 10 days straight turns me on so much*