Contractions

[wildsweetone]

I'm working through a story at the moment and am finding that I keep pulling myself up because as an editor I see contractions making dialogue flow more smoothly in several instances.


"I am going to the shop and I will be buying a pair of stockings."

"I'm going to the shop to buy a pair of stockings."

Is there anything lost between these two sentences? Does the ultimate meaning stay the same?

Sure, there are times when a character is likely to use more formal sounding language in his/her speech. But also, as a reader it is nice to have a break from the formality and a definate difference between character's dialogue.

I'm interested to hear thoughts from others.

 

[Guest]

Hey, Sweets. As with any other rhetorical or garmmatical device I use contractions per need, whether to do with character, mood, tone, etc. Personally I try not to use contractions in the body of a text, but find them more easily used within dialogue, depending on the speaker of course.

I recently advised someone to undo his contractions because they took away from the mood of his story. I find even when I speak (seriously), whether on the job or personally, I do away with contractions, they can seem to diminish what I try to communicate. That's just me though.

Perdita

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

well...

What I always try to think of when choosing my dialogue is... "what would my character say?"

It really doesn't matter if I would like the contractions better or that I would generally use the contractions myself.

What matter is... what would my character do?

A baseball player from Kansas City is going to speak far different from a Proctologist from Iowa.

It is all about what is true to your character.

~WOK

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

WSO,

In my case, the only thing lost between the first and second sentence would be a little sleep. I agree with Perdita and WOK, the language has to fit the story and the character. For instance, the first sentence might be the best choice if the character is supposed to be a member of the upper class in 19th century England. Keep contractions to a minimun in narrative but use them whenever needed to create the right "sound" when writing dialogue.

Rumple

 

[Colleen Thomas]

One of my friends who looks over my works on occasion is from the Isle of Wight. A character in one of my stories was a black woman from the Carribean who spoke with a proper British accent. At least she was supposed to

When I sent the story for proofreading, she broke every contraction back down as well as a few common phrases that I had no idea of. I think use of contractions is more important in dialogue than in the body of the story, but depending on your POV the body may very well need to be written in a style that fits a character. She told me that people very rarely use contractions on her side of the pond.

My first stories (which were awful) lacked contractions anywhere. I am very shy IRL and speak very archaically. I just don't use them in speech and so didn't use them in my writing. I also couldn't decide where to use a period or comma, but I digress I think you are best thinking of contractions as a mood/character device. Consider what you are saying, to whom you are adressing it and go with what feels best.

-Colly

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The ultimate meaning--if by 'ultimate' you mean 'subtle'--is not the same.

"I don't love you" doesn't have the same sort of finality as "I do not love you", though I might want to italicise "not", depending on context.

What bothers me though, is the change of tense between "will be buying" (future) and just "buy" (infinitive) and the repeated use of the pronoun in the first example. It's extremely affected and should probably only be used if the speaker is emphasizing the fact that she intends to buy stockings no matter what.

The problem with contactions for me is knowing when to stop them before they veer off into dialect. The border isn't always clear, but I think it's somewhere between "going to" and "gonna".

Offhand, I can't think of any examples of dialogue in stories where I felt that there were too many contractions. I can think of a lot of examples where contractions were needed to make the speech sound more human.

---dr.M.

 

[gauchecritic]

It's all very well in- or excluding contractions when dealing with a character's speech. However, there is always another unmentioned character when writing: the author. You have a 'voice' and a vocabulary which are unique to you. So how are 'you' telling the story?

Do you insert contractions when reading aloud, that are not actually there?

Do you pause when confronted with 'wouldn't've'? It sounds ok spoken but is really quite difficult to read.

"I am going to the shop and I will be buying a pair of stockings."

"I'm going to the shop to buy a pair of stockings."

In this example you edit the contractions and then (as the doc points out) change one altogether.

"I'm going to the shop and I'll be buying a pair of stockings." brought you up even shorter and made you change the sense by not simply deleting the second pronoun but altering the sentence, when it would've been just's easy to say "I'm going to the shop and [will be] buying a pair of stockings". Still awkward but closer in sense.

Or you could just spend all your time editing the tiniest inconsistencies for ever and ever.

As my mother was fond of saying: "Oh do what you like."

Gauche

 

[wildsweetone]

These are all interesting comments, thanks for posting.

Where does the author's voice come through clearly?

Dialogue or narration?

 

[OldnotDead]

Contractions have always been a pet peeve of mine, along with some of the words they shorten. Can't does not turn into two words, even though most of the contractions we use do represent the combination of two words. OK, now that I got that out of the way . . .

Contractions in dialogue should be as natural as the character for whom they are written. Some of the ones I might use do not even exist in written English. As my Yankee spouse constantly points out to me, exactly what words do the following contractions represent: idn't and dudn't? My Texas friends would be loathe to say, "He id coming to dinner tonight." At the same time, if you watch Dan Rather he will tell you on the Nightly News that when he is skeptical of what someone is saying, "That dog dudn't hunt". In fact, I wonder how many people in the country actually notice that Rather slips into these Southern contractions without thinking. Yet as you read it, you are jarred.

As Gauche points out, 'bastard' contractions used in writing create a jarring event to the eye. So even though I use these Southern contractions in speech, and some of my characters might as well, I do not think I would use THOSE contractions in a story. I would opt for isn't and doesn't.

I guess that's a long winded way of saying what came before. The words need to fit the character.

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

I rarely use contractions in narration, but if I'm reading out loud I naturally auto-contract for a better flow. If I intend to record a story, I'll go through the narration and make sure it sounds right for my voice.

I have an English Westcountry accent, which apparently Americans find hard to understand. If you've seen The Office, my accent is like that of sunken-faced Gareth Keenan. So I read this morning, The Office on DVD will have a subtitle option for Gareth's dialogue.

I use contractions in dialogue, even use 'gonna' and 'wanna' quite often to indicate that my characters do have an accent and a dialect and do use it. I would personally never say "I'm going to" to a lover or friend, I would always say "I'm gonna", so that's what I write for my character's dialogue. My earlier stories had very wooden characters, partly because their dialogue seemed so forced.

As regards where the authors voice shows, I think it depends on the author and the type of narration. Some Lit authors overuse similes to the extent that the story begins to read like a writing excercise - use a simile in every sentence.

Personally I think my voice shows most when I'm describing landscapes or buildings, because that is what I most enjoy writing about. I also like to write semi-nonsensical dream sequences or half-conscious panic attacks although I'm not too sure if they ever come out how I intend them to. I think that is where my passion lies.

ax

 

[Svenskaflicka]

To me, the first example hints drama, whereas the second is just informative.

"I am going to the shop and I will be buying a pair of stockings."

To me, it sounds as if the person saying this has been in some kind of a fight, and is now defending her stand. To me, the sentence sounds like:

"I AM going to the shop and I WILL be buying a pair of stockings."

Whereas the second is just telling what she will do right now, sort of "I can't have lunch with you right now, because I'm going to the shop to buy a pair of stockings."

Sentences should be formal or informal depending on what message you want to send.

 

[Guest]

In reading over my second story, I see that I use contractions fairly often in dialogue but not much in the rest of the story.

I think how often you use them depends on the story you are telling, your style as a writer, and the readers of your story.

Not using them definitely makes the story more formal. Unless I make a conscious effort not to use them, I imagine they will show up in dialogue quite a bit in my stories. Pretty much everyone I am around and talk to use contractions often when speaking. When writing, my mind tends to shift directions when I write dialogue versus the rest of the story.

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

To answer your question...

Where does the author's voice come through clearly?

Dialogue or narration? [/B]

Well.....

as I said before... the voice speaking in the dialogue should represent the character speaking. So unless the character speaking is modeled after you, then you should think about what the CHARACTER would say.

Same holds true for your narrator.....

Firstly, in most stories your POV is 3PO (or 3PL), so to make it sound like somone is "conversing" in the voice of the narrator to the reader is something you would almost never see. (unless the narrator is somehow telling a story...a la campfire style... to the reader). AGAIN... do what is right for the story.

Maybe I sound like an old callous writer right now, but honey you need to STOP thinking about YOUR needs and focus on the STORY and its needs. A good story is written in the manner that is true to the story and its characters (et al). Not many writers that write a story purely to indulge in their own personal whim really tell stories worth reading over and over again.

Don't worry about YOUR voice so much. Worry about the voice of your story.

~WOK (old and a little calloused, but using a loofah).

 

[raphy]

For dialogue, I tend to use whatever the character warrants. For narration - Well, I have to admit I'll use contractions more than probably necessary, but then I have a fairly conversational style of narration (at least, it's close to how I speak during conversations), and that's very strongly reflected in my narrative style.

 

[snooper]

WSO, you've been having these contractions for some time now. Shouldn't you have called a midwife or somebody?

 

[wildsweetone]

Re: To answer your question...

Well.....

as I said before... the voice speaking in the dialogue should represent the character speaking. So unless the character speaking is modeled after you, then you should think about what the CHARACTER would say.

Same holds true for your narrator.....

Firstly, in most stories your POV is 3PO (or 3PL), so to make it sound like somone is "conversing" in the voice of the narrator to the reader is something you would almost never see. (unless the narrator is somehow telling a story...a la campfire style... to the reader). AGAIN... do what is right for the story.

Maybe I sound like an old callous writer right now, but honey you need to STOP thinking about YOUR needs and focus on the STORY and its needs. A good story is written in the manner that is true to the story and its characters (et al). Not many writers that write a story purely to indulge in their own personal whim really tell stories worth reading over and over again.

Don't worry about YOUR voice so much. Worry about the voice of your story.

~WOK (old and a little calloused, but using a loofah).

I appreciate your comments WOK, very much. I was asking not for myself, but more on behalf of some authors I wear my editor hat for.

If the voice of the story I am editing is coming through as a little muted because of verbiage, then I see it as part of my job to suggest a little more clarity.

Snooper, the only thing I give birth to nowadays is creativity, and I enjoy it as much now as I did when I first began.

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

Ahhh...

*light bulb*... now that I know why you were asking, it makes better sense.

As an editor, you should certainly make some notations to the author if the narration is detrationg from the story. I know it is a fine line when editing another person's work, but I think you need to go with your gut as a reader. If you were a reader, would the tone disrupt your enjoyment? If so...then certainly say something.

~WOK

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I think that when writing a story, you shouldn't think too much about what sounds best or what voice to use, etc, etc. Just spew out the whole thing, without caring about if it will be good or not.

That's what the re-writing process is for.

 

[kiwiwolf]

LMAO... WSO, you is gonna pay for dis, dats fer sure.


Your edit is awesome and I'm busy trying to do some changes now, but I've just had 4 hours of tattoo work and can't move my left arm...

I agree with you on the contractions issue to a certain extent. But as far as it applies to my characters... YES, I need to change my tone a bit. More casual and less lecturing. Many thanks hon.

 

[wildsweetone]

LMAO... WSO, you is gonna pay for dis, dats fer sure.

Hey dear,

I am so shaking in my boots!

You know, you ought'n't take my threads to heart. Some difficulties with writing are common for lots of authors eh, myself included. (I've been wearing my Editor Hat a lot this week. ) Getting everything overwith so I can free up some time for NaNoWriMo next month.

You ought to sign up for it. Seriously.

Your edit is awesome and I'm busy trying to do some changes now, but I've just had 4 hours of tattoo work and can't move my left arm...

I'm so glad it was your left arm.

My brother went for some tattoo work last week and hacked it for an hour and a half without having any pre tattoo 'med'. I think I'd last a whole two minutes before running screaming from those needles. *sigh*

I agree with you on the contractions issue to a certain extent. But as far as it applies to my characters... YES, I need to change my tone a bit. More casual and less lecturing. Many thanks hon.

It's always interesting to see what other authors think about writing styles. There's so many of us in here and all with lots of different opinions and ways of doing things. It's always worthwhile to open a thread and ask for opinions. I learn something every time.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.