Continuing Education

Leandra

Raking my fingers out of habit through my hair, I smoothed open my journal to a fresh page and dated it was my trademark curvy script. A couple a few feet to my left was a young couple making out as if they had not a care in the world, and it served well to spark my own memories. Uncrossing and recrossing my legs in attempt to find a more comfortable position, I began to let the worlds tumble from my eager pen into a jumble on the page that I hoped would somewhat resemble "literature."

Memories are fickle creatures. They seem to twist themselves as time passes, molded by the searing emotions of hate and jealousy, of regret and embarrassment. Just as popular lore seems to be altered and embellished each time it is repeated from gossiping lips, so do actual events that you attempt to capture into a single story. I, on the other hand, will try to recall the story through my eyes and from my point of view as truthfully as I can without the sugar-coating it usually recieves.

My "first time," as it is so bluntly referred to, is a decision I no longer hate myself for. Of course it has taken me nine years to come to grips with that fact, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Exploration is a large part of sexuality, and that gave me a distasteful yet absolutely necessary chance to explore my own dislikes. I was the helpless one. He was the forceful one. The individuality I had struggled with like so many adolescents throughout my teenage years had again been repressed by his domineering commands. And that is the moment I decided that the deliverance of control and a well-fought battle for power was one of the things that made my fantasies so unique...
 
Kelly

I couldn't believe what my body was capable of. I struggled to fight the building pressure, but his continued tongue provided no escape. At last, I had to give in. Thus resulting to the most powerful explosion of relief, I've ever felt. Gavin was relentless, sucking my nectar until the waves of pleasure subsided.

He looked at me, his face so close.....
Don't you have some homework to do, young lady?

Still catching my breath, all I could do was release a laugh. A laugh I, myself didn't recognize. It was a woman's laugh.

I cupped my hands around his jaw, drawing his lips to mine. My tongue diving in, I discovered a new sensation. I can taste myself! Somehow, it was driving over the edge again. I knew I couldn't stop there. There was so much more to explore!

Wondering what effect I had on him, my hand reached down over his chest and down his pants.
 
Gavin

What a beautiful, womanly laugh escaped her lips, just before they locked mine in joyful embrace. She seemed driven by her new power, and my heartfelt wish was that she would feel no regrets later. Her hands climbed down my chest and into my pants. If she had had any doubts about her effect on me, she was quickly relieved of said doubts. With a gasp she found my willing member and wrapped her fingers around it, while opening my pants with her other hand.

Once free she gazed upon my throbbing cock as if viewing a mighty master's artwork for the first time.

"Are you sure?" I whispered in her ear. "Let this be your experience, guided by no-one's expectations. Show me where YOUR desires live, and I will do my best to take you there."
 
Irritatedly he crumpled yet another paper full of pointless monotonous boring writing. Doubt came quickly as he fingered his pencil, twirling it around his fingertips.

"I'm so much better at just talking..."

He frowned and set his pencil to paper again,

"My first time was..." *Erase* *Rub* *Rub*

Damn...

"Like lightning..." *Rub* *Rub*

Yeah right it wasn't exciting at all.

"A slow drive up to lookout point, yeah every town has one, with her by my side. It was prom night, a typical night, with typical people, and typical food... and now I was on my way up to the most generic of places with my long time friend and date, Sam, for a typical romp in the backseat. I was not looking forward to it... for some reason... I wasn't nervous only desperate to escape the inevitable. I was gonna fuck her... my best friend, not make love... just fuck."

I wonder if it's allright to use that... I shrugged, it is college.

"My heart wasn't in it and I felt terrible. She thought it was just nerves that made me drive so slow, but it was dread.... What would this do to us? Could we still be friends? But we did it anyway, and it meant nothing. It was pretty quick, I mean sure I came, but it was no better than a jerkoff... I thought there was something wrong with me... maybe there was. But sex was nothing, I was so dissapointed in the end, I think maybe she was too. For that I'm sorry. No fireworks, no moments of fevered passion, trembling as I remove her bra, no catching of the breath at that amazing moment of penetration. It was quick and simple... but did nothing... She did give me a blow job later... that was something. But I couldn't return the favor... I felt so wierd. I wish I'd have been able to enjoy it more, I wish I'd have been able to give her more, I really do."

I sighed,

"I find myself asking, Is this how sex is always going to be? Nothing more than this?"
 
Leandra

I paused, wondering if I should indulge this all-knowing journal in some of the aforementioned, or just leave the reader guessing. Less is More..and ah how true that could be...

Glancing up, my concentration broken, I caught sight of Adrian nearby. He was wrestling with his eraser and stopped frequently to sigh in frustration. Setting my pen down along the binding of the journal to hold my place, I called to him.

"It's only the first assignment, not losing steam already are ya?"
 
I sighed looking down at it, certainly not art.

'not losing steam yet are ya?'

I looked up, recognizing the voice and the speaker, It was Leandra. He brightened immediately, he always did around people.

"Hey."

I chuckled a bit,

"I guess I'm just not very good at writing... eloquently. I read it and read it... it just sounds stupid every time. Guess that's why I'm takin this class."

I looked over trying to shrug the paper off,

"So how's your comin, doesn't look like you're having much trouble."
 
Kelly

Taking his cock in my hand, I was fascinated by the texture of it. Hard but yet the skin was so soft. It bobbed up and down like it had a life of it's own. I looked up at Gavin again with a question in my eyes. My desire? All I know was right now, I DESIRED him!

Still fascinated with this new discovery, I started rubbing up and down him. He shuddered and moaned. Somehow, I knew I wasn't hurting him. His moans echoed throughout my body and encouraged me to continue on. I continued stroking him harder. My hand squeezing and stroking. My eyes fixated at the life it took, growing and throbbing with each stroke.

I peered closer at the head and found a new discovery. There seemed to be a bit of moisture oozing at the tip. I, once again looked up at Gavin and found him smiling down at me....
 
Gavin

Kelly's fascination with her new discovery kept me at the very edge of my self control. For someone who had probably never seen a penis before, she had some very good instincts, and seemed to have none of the common phobias about getting up close to a penis.

"Kelly," I whispered, "you're really really lovely, you know?"

She smiled back warmly . . .
 
Kelly

I smiled up warmly...Should I taste it?

Unable to speak, Gavin smiled his approval. I licked my lips and reluctantly licked the moisture off. hhmmmm..not bad. A little salty. Curious for more, I pressed my lips to his mushroom head and started with small kisses . Each time I felt it twitch, it grew larger. Feeling bolder now, I grabbed his cock by the base while my tongue started him. I traced his bulging veins with the tip of my tongue following it up and down and all around.

Holding his tip to my lips, I hesitated again, Shoud I?
 
Gavin

She began to lick the tip, swirling her tongue around the bulging head, and soon she was exploring its entire length, drinking in my manhood and enlargiing its presence at the same time. I was speechless. Even if she had been talking I'm not sure I would have been cognizant. Soon she was fully involved with the magic of penis response, drunk on the power of being a woman. I was in heaven, amazed only that this was reputedly her first time. She brought me to a gigantic orgasm - I smothered my vocal response, afraid that by now the janitorial staff had probably arrived. It took a while to recover, as she licked it clean. Her inhibitions seemed non-existant.

"Kelly, you are amazing. we have to get out of here now before someone discovers us, but we should talk about this soon. I really want to know what you thought of this, what you were feeling. I'm curious, of course to see what you have to write about it, but I'm wanting to be looking in your eyes when you tell me. Can we meet after class on Monday?"
 
Is he kidding? I would follow him to the end of the earth. All he has to do is say the word. Looking at him with my eager eyes, "Of course Gavin!"

He walked to my car, looked around quickly and gave me a quick peck on my cheek.

"See you on Monday. And don't forget your homeowork!"
 
Gavin

I walked her to her car, gave her one last kiss, and we parted ways for the weekend. The weekend flew by, my mind filled with images of Kelly, and tortured with doubts about the wisdom of our encounter. This would certainly change our dynamic in class, and I still had all the other students to manage. I certainly wondered how everyone had done with their assignment.

As everyone filed in on Monday, I starting looking over the journals that were handed in. Some pretty interesting stuff really. This was going to be a fruitful exercise, and I would not be lacking for material to get discussion going. I gave everyone time to get settled, and shake the weekend out.
 
Leandra

In the midst of my idle chat with Adrian, my cellphone rudely invaded itself with a shrill series of obnoxious tones. Excusing myself with a wish of good luck and a playful wave, I headed towards the student parking lot.

Somewhere amongst the busy hours of my weekend, I found a chance to finish my journal. Jogging down the red clay path that wound lazily throught the contrasting green of the campus bright and early Monday morning, I glanced at my watch. Fashionably late...as usual.... Slipping the journal from my stack of books, I had a chance to glance over the last pages as I turned it in.
 
”It was a dark and stormy night...”
That was the only cliche my first time held up to. No spine-tingling, earth-shattering, relentless passion, or toe-curling anywhere to be found. And God knows I tried to find them. Just wasn’t in the stars; which is how the whole fiasco started...

Stargazing for our highschool astronomy class.

One of the few courses I’ll never thank my guidance counselor for recommending.

His parents were off nursing separate cases of mid-life crisis in some generic vacation spot with a warm and tropical climate. We decided to fully to take advantage of their ‘no-friends over’ rule as best we could. After all, we’d be lovers...not friends...by the time the night was over, right?

Wrong.

The heavy flirting and repartee that was frequently exchanged between us did more for me than his touch did. It was the allusions I enjoyed, the hints of things to come, that sent my imagination off at dizzying speeds. My exotic, erotic views of how a man should be far exceed the bland routine of ‘kiss and fuck’ he introduced me to.

I don’t regret my first time; quite the contrary. I now had a starting point, something to base my future experiences on. It was a harsh lesson of suburbian mediocrity, but once bad experience was enough and I have yet to again sink to these unfulfilling levels.

But, it was only a few wasted hours of my entire life. Dwelling in the past is not my style, what’s been done is done. The future is what awaits us, stretched like a royal red carpet. How well we walk down it is what counts.



Smiling with the satisfied grin of a keen-eyed feline at the thought of the caged canary as I slunk back to my seat, pleased at the look Gavin gave me as he too glanced over the continuation of my prior entry.
 
Gavin

"I wanted to read some excerpts, anonymously , of course, from some of what you handed in. Perhaps that will lead to some discussion that you can use in the future." I scanned the room to see how everyone was adjusting to this idea of having their private lives pried open.

"Did anyone have any trouble with the assignment?"
 
Recuerde Martinez

Is this fact, or fantasy? Is this accuracy or wish fulfulment? You will have to guess that for yourself. In the end, is not most of our lives a mixture of both; are not our memories simply tricks played by our minds on reality. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes for none.

My brother raped me. That much I will not detail. I am not stupid enough to think that makes me unique, I know the statistics. But my brother raped me and I wanted revenge.

Revenge is sweet, but knowledge is the sugar needed for that sweetness. Knowledge of how to use people. Knowledge of how the world works. I had that, and I have it. That is why I joined a gang. I worked with them until they trusted me enough to help. That happened one Friday evening.

Sueno, my brother, was coming home from Gym, when we took him. He fell for Jassica's seduction like the fool he is and she led him towards one of our shacks. She acted the enamored little ditz, and that drew the schmuck in. Got him off guard. They undressed in the dark, then, when they were naked, we turned on the lights and took him down.

Don't let them tell you a man can't be raped. Every one of us raped him - and they saved me till last. He was scared. We let him know what was coming. We kept the shears in sight, and beat him and cut him to keep him afraid. When it was my turn, I took the shears and made him pay. Then we told him if he said anything, he'd die.

Is there any truth in this? Well... maybe. Maybe not. One thing I guarantee - if there is, there's enough falsehood to prevent it being proven.

I decided to leave it there and hand it in. Let the professor do what he wanted with it. Frankly I didn't think he had the balls to turn it in to the cops - and I had made sure even what I had written was innaccurate. First of all - I'd only watched from another room. None of us were stupid enough to let him know the truth of why this was happening to him. Well... here you are, white boy. Read it and do what you will.
 
'Did anyone have trouble with this assignment?'

I'd say so, but hell if I was gonna be the only idiot raising my hand. I slumped a bit in my chair fingering my pencil silently praying that he didn't decide some of mine... I'd heard how Leandra just spoke and I could guess her writing would be spectacular, I certainly didn't want my work to either follow or precede her own.
 
Gavin

"It's clear, as I read through these entries, that sexual experiences can be very different, from one person to the next, and from one time to another. First experiences can be especially poignant, and that's why I wanted to start us off with something challenging." My heart sank. As I scanned around the room, it became apparent that Kelly had not arrived. I worried that her emotions had overwhelmed her.

"'It was perfect . . .'
'My heart wasn't in it, and I felt terrible.'
'My brother raped me . . .'" There were gasps around the room as I uttered those words, and students began to look around, trying to distinguish the author. I hoped that Recuerde would stay cool. "These three line show the range of emotion involved with this assignment. But they really just set the scenes. The actual writings were very thoughtful, and I congratulate each of you for getting off to a great start. I hope this wasn't too painful, but I hope moreover that the pain you felt will be useful to you later on."

It seemed like I finally had their attention, so I pressed on: " The heavy flirting and repartee that was frequently exchanged between us did more for me than his touch did. It was the allusions I enjoyed, the hints of things to come, that sent my imagination off at dizzying speeds. My exotic, erotic views of how a man should be far exceed the bland routine of ‘kiss and fuck’ he introduced me to. . . .Dwelling in the past is not my style, what’s been done is done. The future is what awaits us, stretched like a royal red carpet. How well we walk down it is what counts. " I paused for a moment to let it sink in, "Would anyone like to speak to those words?"
 
I watched him as he picked up a couple of the papers, shuffling through them he stopped and looked at the class,

'It was perfect . . .'
'My heart wasn't in it, and I felt terrible.'
'My brother raped me . . .'

I was shocked... not to much the 'It was perfect' but the last one sent ripples through the classroom. Everyone looked around, it was kind of rude so I sort of kept my head down. I certainly didn't want to offend whoever... that was horrible.

He congratulated us, everyone did wonderful... Don't teachers always say that with the first assignment?

As he read the first extended passage I was almost certain it was Leandra, she really was talented. 'Kiss and fuck' seemed pretty much what happened with me too...

'Would anyone like to speak to those words?'

I did feel a little outnumbered in this class... all women but I raised my hand anyways...

I think a lot of people expect more out of sex than is really there. I mean, most people think guys just fuck and that's all they want, but guys like a little intrique as well, they like their hearts to be in it, a little rendezvous, eroticism, passion. I mean a lot of guys are scared to even suggest new things because in general women don't like to talk about it. It's the not talking about it that makes it bland. And it seems that a lot of people are inexperienced, they don't know anything other than the bland, they don't teach that in sex ed... and you don't see it in the movies much.

Especially so young as anyones first try. Most peoples first try probobally resembles the Kiss and Fuck method cause it's their first try... it can only get better... I hope
 
Kelly

I hate arriving late. It always draws attention to me. Slipping through the back door, I quietly slid into an empty seat, hopefully unnoticed.

I wouldn't be late if I had fallen asleep in time. But, I couldn't. I tossed and turned all night, only to fall in a deep dream of Gavin in the early morning. It was like that all weekend, the only relief I had was my fingers between my legs releasing the pressure built inside.

As soon as I left Gavin on Friday, I immediately drove home to write my first paper.

Just a few days ago, I would have dreaded this assignment, but thanks to the most beautiful, patient and loving man, I now face this assignment with elation. Before, I met him; I was a child hiding behind my inhibitions. Because of his patience and expertise, he was able to look deep into my soul and resurrect a woman crying to be saved.

Even though, I am still considered a “virgin”, he gave me something that most women, including prostitutes have never experienced in their lifetime. With that, I mean the gift of the “orgasm”. Now that I’ve experienced this new profound feeling, my body seems to crave more….
 
Recuerde Martinez

So, the professor has some tact. Either that or he's too weak to read the result of the rape. Hey, guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. As to the passage and Adrian's words... I raised my hand to speak.

Most people don't know how to have sex, and how the hell are you meant to know the first time. Nearest you can get before you do it is porn - and you gotta be some kinda clever to learn anything from that. So why would anyone be surprised that the first time is bad?

As to women not being willing to talk about it... that aint true. Anyone who is afraid to talk about it doesn't deserve the name woman... or man. They're nothin' but weak-assed kids! Being a man or woman means you gotta face your fears.
 
Gavin

The class came alive. Grateful for this, I listened as discussion ensued, Adrian explaining the plight of the shy guy, and the awkwardness of first time sex under the best of circumstances. It punctuated the reason for this lesson in the first place.

Recuerde also spoke up, bringing her own special brand of tough guy wisdom to the rest of the class. It was perfect, we had dialogue. And then, then I saw her, slipping in the back to her seat. I let out a sigh of relief, and immediately realized that Leandra had taken note of my reaction. Damn, this was going to be a hard line to walk.
 
Leandra

Leaning back in my seat, legs crossed and idle hands kept busy twisting a lock of stray hair that fell annoyingly out of place, I listened to the discussion, pleased to know Gavin had indeed chosen my to start off with. I had to admit that Recuerde, who always seemed good for a sharp comeback or a biting comment, had a point that the lengthy speakers before her, although perhaps more eloquent, had failed to express.

At that moment, the shy girl who I had noticed perched timidly in the back row yesterday walked in, immediately obtaining the Professor’s coveted attention. They exchanged surreptitious glances, and small smiles like two people sharing an inside joke. I had always been perceptive to my surroundings and this private scene being played out between the two of them hardly escaped me.

Raising my eyebrow at this twist, I eyed Gavin sharply, wondering what exactly was going on.
 
I kind of shrugged before deciding to answer back,

"Maybe I should have said some women. There are some women, particularly the more outspoken ones like you, Recuerda, who can talk freely about it... and that's great, but I know the ones I usually end up around are sweet, girl-next-door types that might have ideas but feel dirty or sinful... or whatever talking about it, or a lot even thinking about it... It's probobally more the environment they're raised in. But I really don't think that makes them less of a woman... or any weaker... The same goes with men."
 
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