Consort to the empress (open)

[silvertongue217]

“You have?!” Marcus remarked shooting up at her words and casual mention. He turned to the attendants bringing in their bags and winced noticing their knowing glances before he sent them away with a wave of his hands “I am not sure that is a good idea” He said even though he winced at the word.

“The noblemen will all clamor for your head as will the other nobles I do agree every one would be happier and it would promote more equality but you have a land ruled by a caste system if you make every one equal then you have to deal with a rebellion” He said coming over and taking her hand “you are sweet far to sweet for you rule but I don’t think it is a good idea” He told her reaching over to kiss her cheek softly.

“Go and make your self comfortable” He said moving back and smiling.

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine frowned. He thought it was a bad idea? Perhaps this was just his way of telling her that he didn't want her...

She tilted her head. "The law would not make everyone equal. The rest of the caste system would remain intact. It would just dissolve the legal requirement that members of each caste must marry within their caste." She shook her head. "When two people are in love, I have found that they do not allow legality to interfere," she whispered. "Too often, I have young lovers brought before me for punishment because they have tried to escape our beautiful country because we will not permit them to be together. Nothing in this ruling will change the way people behave. Those who desire a partner within their own caste may still be permitted to find one. Those who believe it is dishonourable to marry outside ones' caste will not be forced to do so. I just... I don't want to continue jailing youths for daring to follow their hearts." Clearly, there was more to this than just herself and Marcus - she had been considering this option for some time. It was just that her growing feelings for him had driven her to finally admit that she'd been thinking about it.

"Perhaps... perhaps a solution would be to allow a legal provision for lovers, then," she suggested softly. Because he was right, the nobility would have her head for allowing marriage between castes. "We do not have to permit the full rights of marriage, but we can sanction relationships between different castes." She shook her head. "I don't know what the best solution is, to be honest. All I know is that I cannot, in good conscious, continue to jail people for love."

 

[silvertongue217]

He listened to her speak for al ong time trying not to get caught up in the idea the thought of what the new law would allow him to do…. But he couldn’t because it would never happen because even if she did go ahead and get it turned without any one kicking up a rebellion he was still not allowed to take a wife as part of the royal rpotectors duty he had taken a oath an oath forsaking all physical pleasures and to not take a wife and even if he wanted to he could never betray that oath.

Not as long as he lived

“You should” He said reaching over and taking her hand once more “you should do it because you are a good person some one who believes in love and fairness qualities I love in you” He said giving her a small smile before letting go and walking out into the garden.

He spent the evening making sure the guards maintained an airtight perimeter without actually intruding on them. He double checked the watch postings and made sure every one knew their place and their role within the formation. Only after he was satisfied did he finally go back in just as dinner was about to be prepared.

 

[slut_in_white]

Once Marcus left, Celestine went to take a long, relaxing bath, and when she came out, she was practically glowing with a radiant calm. She had really needed this vacation, it seemed.

She met Marcus for dinner, dressed in a manner more comfortable and less proper than anything she ever wore at the palace. She took her seat across from him, and found herself staring at him. He'd been with her for both of their whole lives, assigned together as children. He'd never really been given a choice about his position, and it made her wonder...

"Do you ever regret taking your position as the lord protector?" she asked suddenly, her expression neutral and curious. "I won't be offended if you say yes. I just wonder... You're a man of great talent and character. You could do or be anything. Anyone. And yet, this is what you've chosen, and your oath prevents you from changing your mind. Do you ever wish you could be anyone else?"

 

[silvertongue217]

He walked out wearing a simple pair of robes and not his usual royal protector outfit. He had decided against his better judgment to go out as her friend and not her bodyguard. He groomed himself to his best and went to join her for dinner stopping and trying his best not to stare when she came into view.

“You look breath taking Celestine” He said softly taking her hand and kissing it before going over and pulling out her chair. He scooted her back in and then went to his chair. He was sitting down when she posed her question and he stopped and looked at her.

“There have been times when I thought about it but if I wasn’t your royal protector I wouldn’t have been your friend and we would never have met so no I wouldn’t trade it for the world not when you are the best part of my life” He said softly.

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine listened carefully to his answer. She had another question. She knew it was inappropriate, she knew it was prying and she would be invading his privacy, but on the other hand, she was desperate to know, and she couldn't quite help herself.

"Forgive me," she whispered, leaning toward him. "I know what I'm about to ask is inappropriate, but I must. Do not feel as though you must answer if you don't wish to. If you tell me you cannot answer or do not wish to answer, I will respect it. But I must ask: What if we were friends? What if you were some other member of my court? A nobleman, perhaps? Would you regret it then?"

 

[silvertongue217]

He paused for a long time thinking and torn. He wanted to answer her question honestly because he never lied to her but he felt there was some hidden line here some way he was about to cross into an entirely new territory. He wasn’t sure what territory that was but he knew he was nervous about it.

But he had a duty

“I cant imagine any one else protecting you” He finally said eating and not looking up at her “but that being said if I was not your body guard it could lead to…. A stronger friendship between us” He said his tone suggesting it wasn’t friendship he was talking about “so yes I suppose I might regret it then”

 

[slut_in_white]

"A stronger friendship?" she repeated, well aware that he had meant something else. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She knew - knew - that this was a dangerous conversation. But the thought of his affection for her being something romantic in his desire... It was overwhelming. She had to know.

But she had to be cautious. If she pushed him, she was aware that he might go back to keeping her at a distance. Cold. Professional. It wasn't what she wanted. "Do you... Do you suppose that a certain closeness between empress and protector might be a positive thing?" she asked softly. "I know the rules exist for a reason, but certainly... love between protector and protected might actually make for better protection. At least, it's possible, isn't it?"

 

[silvertongue217]

He stiffened understanding her words and the subtext behind them. He nervously pushed his food around his plate thinking hard on his answer before he shrugged.

“I suppose so” He said softly not looking up at her “but that kind of love would be doomed yes it would allow him to protect her better but in the end he could not betray his oaths and thus he would be forced to love her from afar as she moved on and found some one else” He remarked grabbing his wine and taking a healthy sip.

 

[slut_in_white]

"But I couldn't love anyone else..." The words slipped out unbidden, and she found herself blushing, staring down at her plate. She hadn't meant to say it out loud. But even so, it was true. His oath that he remain unmarried had not only demanded that he be alone, but had also cursed her to the same fate by virtue of her heart belonging only to him.

He hadn't said anything, and she was beginning to feel humiliated. She's overstepped her bounds. She knew that. "I'm sorry," she breathed, getting to her feet. She couldn't look him in the eye. "I've said too much. Please forgive me." And with that, she fled to her room, unable to bear what she was certain was a coming rejection.

 

[silvertongue217]

“Celestine I-“ Marcus said rising as she fled. She left him no time however dashing out before he could even reach out to stop her. He starred dumb founded at her retreating form so dumbfounded by the way the conversation turned as he slid back into his chair.

She loved him

There was no escaping that truth now and it burned inside of him warming him at the same time it filled him with dread. He always thought that his love for her and his feelings would go unrequited she was after all the Empress and he a slum kind given a royal position simply by his abilities. More than that she was such a good person compared to him. She was bright and cheerful and so full of love and compassion….. he was none of those things more stoic and alone then even he cared to admit.

Yet she loved him

He reached out taking his wine and sipping it at a loss as to what to do. Confront her about it? And do what? That would do both of them no good…. Then again not admitting it would just lead to her feeling rejected and break her heart…. More so he didn’t want to reject her even if they couldn’t be together she still deserved to know.

He sat there for a while before he got up pushing his chair back and walking over. He reached the door and sighed not bothering to knock but instead put his forehead on the door.

“I feel the same way” He said loud enough to hear it “I am in love with you even though we can not be together” He said placing his hand on the door before turning. He moved quickly disappearing before she could answer the door. He walked out into the square and pulled his dinner robes off leaving himself bare chested as he pulled out his sword. He quickly moved into his customary sword stance and began to train drilling the moves he spent years perfecting over and over again

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine collapsed into tears the moment the door to her bedroom shut behind her. She'd ruined everything. Her relationship with the only person she loved, the only person who could have been truly called her friend, was over, she was certain of it. Her heart felt like it was shattering. She buried her face in her hands and cried, torn and feeling suddenly so alone in the world.

And then, a voice, muffled through the door but still unmistakably Marcus.

I feel the same way. I am in love with you even though we can not be together.

Celestine nearly choked, her eyes snapping open. He loved her? She hadn't managed to push him away with her admission?! She scrambled to her feet, wiping her tears away with her hands, and then opened the door to find... an empty hall. She looked confused. She hadn't imagined that, had she?

She rubbed at her still-teary eyes with her sleeve again, and padded silently out into the hall, looking confused. It was late enough that most of the servants had retired and the rest were busy clearing up dinner and cleaning the kitchen, so Celestine was left alone as she started wandering the halls, searching for Marcus.

She found him in the square, practicing with his sword, and stopped. She was standing inside, still, looking out into the square from a window, and leaned on the sill to watch. He moved with grace, strength, and speed, and found herself biting her lip as a faint touch of arousal began rising in her body at the sight of his bare torso twisting and moving like that in the moonlight. She didn't interrupt, instead, just stayed still, happy to watch him practicing.

 

[silvertongue217]

Marcus was in his downward stroke when he heard her coming out.

He froze for a half second debating what to do. He knew he shouldn’t be in such a state of undress especially given what had previously transpired between the two of them. More to the point there relationship was now undefined and he didn’t know what she was thinking.

He finished the stroked and turned inclining his head “Celestine” He said trying to keep his voice light as he walked over to his shirt and pulled it back on.

He slid his sword in its scabbard and paused to sip his water as he looked at her. He didn’t know what to say to her so instead he said nothing simply drinking his water and watching her trying to convey with his eyes that he was worried about her.

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine stepped outside and approached Marcus while he drank to recover from his practice. "We've made a grand mess of things, haven't we?" she asked softly, a sad smile on her face as she lifted her fingers to touch his cheek.

A moment of silence passed between them and she sighed. "Never in my life have I wanted to be anyone else so much. Were it possible, I would switch places with one of my handmaidens in an instant, if it meant we could be together." She dropped her hand, then and looked down to the ground, shaking her head. "Marcus... What are we going to do?"

 

[silvertongue217]

He heard her words and winced at the way his heart soared. He felt the same way! After all the years of pining he wasn’t the only one. It was his wildest dreams come true but set in a cold harsh reality. He could hear his mentors words once more reminding of his place and his oaths. His oaths were what made him who he was even if he didn’t agree with them. Its what separated the man who was bestowed the ultimate job of the kingdom from the dirty urchin boy who won the tournament all those years ago. He promised his mentor looked at him on his death bed and spoke the words while the emperor watched.

“I don’t know either” He said asking her hand and removing it from his cheek. He brought it over to his lips and kissed it before letting it drop.

“You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say it” He said softly locking eyes with her “I cant even tell you to know you love me like I love you which is so completely and fully it drives me mad…..”

“Celestine I cant… my oaths your oaths you know what they mean to me” He said looking into her eyes “I love you but I cant be with you and even though it hurts so bad Its what separates the man you love from who I was who I used to be I cant betray that”

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine's heart twisted painfully in her chest. He seemed so distraught at the idea that they couldn't be together. He thought he was hurting her, and it was obviously causing him pain.

"I know," she whispered, taking a step closer to him. "I know. It's alright. I know you have to be faithful to your oaths." She took his hands. "I believe I would still love the man you would have become, even if you hadn't been taken in by the lord protector as a child. But that's neither here nor there. Know that I am overjoyed to hear that you return my affections, even if we can't act on them." She smiled at him. "Knowing I am loved, as a woman as well as an empress, is more than I could ever have hoped for."

 

[silvertongue217]

“I wish it were some other way” He said his shoulders tightening as he realized she was being so okay about this. How could he have been so lucky? He thought to himself she understood at least what he had to do why they couldn’t be.

“It is both the greatest thing and the most terrible to know you feel the same way” He admitted softly taking a step closer to her “To know you love me as I love you and not able to do any thing about it in truth it was easier when I didn’t know because I could say you didn’t feel the same way that loving you was a fools errand” He said reaching out and gently taking her hand.

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine smiled, reveling in it each time he said that he loved her. It made her heart jump in her chest, and she found herself smiling wider and wider until she was grinning at him in a way that could only be described as pure joy - completely inappropriate for an Empress, and thus, a smile only her precious Marcus would ever be able to see.

"Perhaps," she began, tugging on his hands and leading him back into the house, "we should continue this conversation tomorrow. I know my own emotions are threatening to run away with me, as I suspect yours are as well. We might both be served by a good night's sleep so that we may talk with more level heads tomorrow morning."

 

[silvertongue217]

“That is probably a good idea” Marcus said allowing her to lead him in “a level head will do us both some good” He muttered mostly to himself.

He walked inside with her and let go off her hand (and tried not to wince as he did) he turned locking the door with a heavy bolt before turning back. They were alone in the house a fact Marcus was very very painfully aware of.

“Keep a hold of yourself” He thought to himself sternly as he walked with her to her room “nothing will happen”

he didn’t quite believe that however

He reached her room and turned opening the door for her.

“I shall wait until you have been dressed to come in Celstine” He said his eyes a little nervous as he waited for her to step in.

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine stopped at the door to her bedroom, watching Marcus with a combination of curiosity and sadness. "You're staying outside?" she asked softly. It was never something he'd done before. "I have a changing screen..." she offered, looking uncertain. He had always been against leaving her alone at any time when he didn't have to. For her protection. But now, with this new difficulty of their shared feelings, he wanted to leave her alone. Had she truly made him that uncomfortable?

She stepped into her room and stood just beyond the threshold, facing him. She held her hands out to him but didn't grab his hands - it had to be his decision. "Please..."

 

[silvertongue217]

“I didn’t want it to be awkward” Marcus said wincing at her hurt look and immediately wanting to make it better. He stepped in closing the door behind them and moving the heavy bolt into the latch. He nodded at her to get dressed and took his usual place by the side of the door at rest.

He adverted his eyes as best he could by looking up and clearing his throat “you should know that I wont let this change my duties or my drive to protect you Celestine” he said keeping his eyes averted up.

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine seemed to relax once he joined her in her room. She disappeared behind the dressing screen and shed her dress, then pulled her nightgown on over-top. She stepped back out on time to hear Marcus' promise that this wouldn't affect his ability to protect her.

"I know," she answered, smiling. She approached him, running her fingers through her hair to loosen what was left of her braid. Her dark hair was falling loose around her shoulders and she took a seat on the end of her bed. "Your feelings haven't changed just because I know about them. Your drive to protect me isn't going to change. I know that." She smiled. "It's one of the reasons I love you so much."

 

[silvertongue217]

He stiffened at her words so unused to some one loving him and being so blse about it. If asked he would have stated he knew she loved him but not in that way and certainly now showing it so openly. His mentor had been the same way they loved each other as father and son but neither of them showed it save for very very brief instances like on his old masters deathbed.

He shuddered at the thought and walked forward pulling her sheets up as he often did for her.

“I wish you didn’t” He admitted softly backing up “I feel as if I have ruined your life by loving me” He admitted softly “that now you wont find some one who can love you back like you deserve”

 

[slut_in_white]

Celestine reached for Marcus, taking his hand before he could escape back to the other side of the room. She tugged gently, drawing him closer, and then patted the side of the bed next to her in a gesture indicating that she wanted him to sit. She left it up to him whether he actually did so or not, but either way, she smiled.

"You haven't ruined my life. You are the only man I could have loved. If you hadn't been here, if my guard had been someone else, I would not have come to love another as I love you now. I simply would have gone through life without knowing what love is." She reached up to caress his cheek with a gentle hand. "You haven't ruined my life. You've made it more than I could ever possibly have hoped."

 

[silvertongue217]

“I-I-I” He said sitting down and looking at her, their eyes locking.

He would look back on this moment with just as much joy as he would disdain. He would curse it and also hold it near and dear to his heart. It would change his life and even if he said it was for worse in his heart it would always be for the better. He would insist it was his biggest mistake while in his mind repeating that it was the best decision he ever made.

He leaned in kissing her his lips pressing against hers. His hands, which were by his side moved around her back bringing her closer as he kissed her more fully.