Consensual and Emotion

[thatgirl2136]

I have to say I am relatively new to the scene and was introduced by someone I met online. Your story mirrors mine, he held all the cards because he had the experience and I thought his way was the way things should be.

Needless to say his answers were one or two words, he seemed to think that this 'mystery' made him more attractive to me. I ended up feeling hurt and confused and would do anything to get his attention (only online I might add)

So after reading some amazing posts from people on here, I took a complete break from him and cut all contact, the relationship was damaging to me mentally. Several months later we got back in contact, and as I was mentally more seperate from him I was able to explain how he made me feel. He had had no idea of the detrimental effect he had and we now maintain a wonderful friendship. Good luck, I hope I may have helped in some way and please PM me if you would like to chat xx

Wow, your story really is a mirror. I am glad you found your solution and were able to break away and in the end have a very good friendship.

All of this for an online never met "relationship"

Emotion would be great but these are bits and bytes on a machine.

We know about topping from the bottom he is bottoming from the top, probably as has been pointed out because he sees safety in it.

All of that is OK, I tend to be irked by those who accuse others of not being "open minded" enough. If they were open minded they would see the other point of view.

Expanding boundries is great done my mutual consent after honest talk of where current boundries are. This not sub enough or not dom enough makes me think OCD..
Not
consensual sexual play.

After all that is what it is all ultimately about. Something that triggers the pleasure centers of the brain. "We" get off on different things, some are hard wired (as pointed out by others) for certian things, others adapt to many situations.

Some can really switch from dom to sub or top to bottom and enjoy the intimacy from any position. Others feel defined by a role, and stick closely to that role.

None of this is good or bad or right or wrong. It simply is how people are.

Find someone, online, or real life who you can talk to, negotiate successfully with and pleasure each other with agreed on activities. Life is far too short for anything else.

Well yes it may be bits and bytes on a machine, but anyone can tell when there is no emotion being put into a conversations. You can only handle so many "mk" "yes" "alright" "sure" "ok" "" responses. Text can be full of emotion if the person chooses to put it in.

the open minded thing really gets to me just because of that. If he was open minded he would also see my point of view that I am not comfortable with the situation at hand.

In general, it's difficult to know if you can trust someone you only know online.

In response to the you can't just become a dom or sub comments, I wanted to say that sexuality is very fluid. While it's entirely possible this person is full of shit, it's not impossible for a person's desires to evolve or change.

I agree, it is very difficult for many many reasons.
Yes, I agree desires can change though when in the middle of something and he randomly states 'i dont want to Dom anymore' it can be quite annoying because it starts an argument when he wants me to take over the role.

 

[SleeplessFlaMan]

I believe cnsent is a must....

CONSENT IS A MUST IN THE BDSM WORLD! Safe words are a must and I use a sub name to distinguish between the woman and the sub....

I hope I am asking this in the right manner.
I am highly interested in the BDSM world and was introduced to it by a man I met online almost a year ago. I am submissive. We have never met and we are not completely committed for various reasons. Which is why I am here, I have a few questions.

From everything I have read and know I believe that in a D/s relationship everything needs to be consensual, but this man does not understand that. Now I have nothing against anyone who is interested in this it is just not something I can get myself to do. He is constantly wanting a infantality scene or for me to discontinue being sub and change to Dom and when I say no it turns into a fight because I'm 'not open minded enough' to what he wants. I don't think I'm in the wrong for standing my ground, but is there a way to help him understand that even if I do give in it will not be what he expects because I cannot completely be in the mind set?
As a female I cannot imagine having sex with my own newborn child....and my comfort is sub not Dom.


And finally...again I believe a D/s relationship is as physical as it is emotional.
Would that be correct? or am I completely missing something...
See I cannot get emotion from him, not even in an argument, therefore I never know what he is actually thinking or if something is good/bad. It's tearing us apart and I'm becoming exhausted with 1 and 2 word replies to almost everything. So, I guess my question here would be; is it normal for a Dom to show little to no emotion to their sub?

I hope these questions are not too 'elementary', but being fairly inexperienced in this world I needed to ask.

Thank you for your time.

 

[mistressmaxine]

I completely agree with the above!!

 

[thatgirl2136]

I completely agree with the above!!

so do i!!

 

[SleeplessFlaMan]

Well I am glad you agree!!!

Such a good girl!

so do i!!

 

[thatgirl2136]

Such a good girl!

always.

 

[SleeplessFlaMan]

The question is How Good?

I expect to be hearing from you and to be informed of your lastest escapades!

always.

 

[thatgirl2136]

I expect to be hearing from you and to be informed of your lastest escapades!

haha will do