Confused

[from0tobitch]

I have always considered myself one of the dominant nature. I have always enjoyed telling people what to do etc. Lately, however, I have been feeling confused.
I met this guy online at the beginning of the year, and we recently took the relationship offline. During our online chats, I always felt like I was the dominant of the relationship, but after meeting him in person, I have been finding myself wanting him to take charge, and handle me roughly.

What does this mean? Does it make me a submissive?

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated

 

[rosco rathbone]

I have always considered myself one of the dominant nature. I have always enjoyed telling people what to do etc. Lately, however, I have been feeling confused.
I met this guy online at the beginning of the year, and we recently took the relationship offline. During our online chats, I always felt like I was the dominant of the relationship, but after meeting him in person, I have been finding myself wanting him to take charge, and handle me roughly.

What does this mean? Does it make me a submissive?

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated

Don't do it.

 

[DreamsSurrender]

Honestly you might have some switch tendencies,with me I love my dom taking complete control...but perhapes with the right person I could dominate...one never knows what may happen in life.

 

[princess4u]

i am a very strong assertive person in my vanilla life but when it comes to my D/s relationship, i am totally submissive - being a submissive does not take away any of my assertive traits - being submissive is a freedom to me - a freedom to completely surrender myself to one whom i entrust with my body, mind and spirit - and it is during that time that i briefly devoid myself of those traits

in my humble opinion, i don't think craving being treated roughly automatically constitutes one being submissive (perhaps a masochist, but not a submissive) - i don't particularly crave rough treatment - i crave being used in any manner in which my dom desires to use me and i suppose that in general, most doms do tend to be at least somewhat rough

 

[RJMasters]

Agrees With Rosco

Don't do it.

First of all the whole things smacks of untruth, lack of honesty and lack of knowledge.

One of the key things about any D/s relationship is Honesty and Truth. Both people involved need to fisrt be honest with themselves and with each other. This will probably end up as one big mind-fuck without any real satisfaction for either of you.

As to why you may be confused. I am not gonna put a label on ya but give you some advice.

Know yourself! Who you are and what you want. If you are dominant then be dominant, if you are submissive then be submissive, if you both then you are a switch and at times you need to be dominant and other times you crave to submit. You'll know yourself only when you accept who you are and are peace about it. Heck you might not be a Dom or a sub, you might just be vanilla looking for love in all the wrong places. Only you can really answer that honestly.

But giving yu the benifit of the doubt that you want a D/s relationship, there are all kinds of little suttlties. You could be Dominant with submissive tendancies. You could submissive with Dominant tendencies.

We can go on all day like this but what needs to be clear, is that you take the time to know yourself, and sounds like this other person needs to take some time too.

When I say Don't do it, I mean don't go full on into a relationship, but maybe the opportunity is there to explore and learn. One thing is for sure. You were obviously mis-lead into thinking one thing was true, but then found out it wasn't. That should make anyone considering any type of relationship put on the brakes.

Because online offers animinty(sp) or the ability to be anonomous, this sometimes affords a person to be more bold than they normally would in real life. Also, this allows a person to act out fantasies, but in real life wouldn't dare act on them.

Is it possible there is hope for healthy D/s relationship, not under the current circumstances. If you like this guy, then sit down and clear the air. Make it clear you both have to start over from scratch. You may have to admit you were not completely honest with him, he will have to do the same. Then and only then can you truely determine if the two of you can move forward.

So stop before it gets messy and someone gets hurt, get honest with yourself and each other, and then decide if the relationship is really what you want.

Good luck. Hope that helps.

 

[FungiUg]

I'm not sure I agree with the "Don't do it" comment. And yet I do agree with knowing yourself. Sometimes knowing yourself does include experimenting. And I think every dominant should experience (at least once) being on the other side.

Does this make you submissive? Well... we humans are a mixture of many things. Submitting to someone won't change your dominant nature -- it will mean that you can (potentially) enjoy the best of both worlds. I believe the "label" is "switch". And ain't nothing wrong with that!

Be safe, be honest, be careful of course. But experimenting is part of learning about ourselves.

 

[Richard49]

in my humble opinion, i don't think craving being treated roughly automatically constitutes one being submissive (perhaps a masochist, but not a submissive) - i don't particularly crave rough treatment - i crave being used in any manner in which my dom desires to use me and i suppose that in general, most doms do tend to be at least somewhat rough

One can be a bottom and a Dom

 

[princess4u]

One can be a bottom and a Dom

most assuredly...

 

[bytor2112]

just do it already...

let him humiliate your cruddy ass....

he can piss on you defecate in your mouth and then clean his ss with your hair..

will you enjoy that?

 

[soapstar]

just do it already...

let him humiliate your cruddy ass....

he can piss on you defecate in your mouth and then clean his ss with your hair..

will you enjoy that?

Im sorry you have a small penis. Dont blame us.

 

[bytor2112]

Im sorry you have a small penis. Dont blame us.

average pecker size...

enough to bring you to orgasm over and and over...

 

[SweetDommes]

average pecker size...

enough to bring you to orgasm over and and over...

not if she - like the rest of us - is too smart to let you within a mile of her ...

You really do need to grow up buddy, or at least be original ... your childish, repetitive posts are getting boring.

*sigh* and before the rest of you remind me ... I know, I know, don't feed the trolls ... I'll stop now.

 

[bytor2112]

not if she - like the rest of us - is too smart to let you within a mile of her ...

You really do need to grow up buddy, or at least be original ... your childish, repetitive posts are getting boring.

*sigh* and before the rest of you remind me ... I know, I know, don't feed the trolls ... I'll stop now.

you losers wouldn't know original if it pissed on your face ...

 

[soapstar]

not if she - like the rest of us - is too smart to let you within a mile of her ...

You really do need to grow up buddy, or at least be original ... your childish, repetitive posts are getting boring.

*sigh* and before the rest of you remind me ... I know, I know, don't feed the trolls ... I'll stop now.

Yes, its kind of like chocolate biscuits. You just KNOW you shouldnt, but still.....

 

[SweetDommes]

Yes, its kind of like chocolate biscuits. You just KNOW you shouldnt, but still.....

I know ... it's just too tempting. But it will soon lose my attention, because - as always - it's just the same old shit.

 

[soapstar]

I know ... it's just too tempting. But it will soon lose my attention, because - as always - it's just the same old shit.

But do you think he's circumcised?

 

[SweetDommes]

But do you think he's circumcised?

Do I care? that would be a no ... I bet he's really a 13 or 14 year old net-nerd who got his first woody shortly before he started posting here

 

[soapstar]

I would still like to see his doodle.

 

[Richard49]

Come on folks
we have been here before
don't feed the trolls

ignor them they starve and go away

This one like the rest is jumping from thread to thread

In real life we could take him out and kick his/her ugly ass
here in cyber space they have a form of brown bottle courage
and check there manners at the door

This one does not even put his/her gender on there profile

maybe that indicates they are gender confused

they for sure have
no manners
and no courage

my location is right there
<
come on and get me

 

[bytor2112]

Come on folks
we have been here before
don't feed the trolls

ignor them they starve and go away

This one like the rest is jumping from thread to thread

In real life we could take him out and kick his/her ugly ass
here in cyber space they have a form of brown bottle courage
and check there manners at the door

This one does not even put his/her gender on there profile

maybe that indicates they are gender confused

they for sure have
no manners
and no courage

my location is right there
<
come on and get me

kick my ass??? Are you serious??/ it would take about 10 of you wankers to do that and even then most of you would feel the pain..

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kick my ass???

maybe some friends of mine will pay you a ...

 

[soapstar]

Do I care? that would be a no ... I bet he's really a 13 or 14 year old net-nerd who got his first woody shortly before he started posting here

Im quite excited about a 13 / 14 yr old masturbating over my posts.

NAH! LOLOLOL

 

[Richard49]

don't feed the trolls

 

[SweetDommes]

don't feed the trolls

I know - I quit ... *writes 100 times* Don't feed the trolls, that's what the iggy button is for ... Don't feed the trolls, that's what the iggy button is for ...

 

[soapstar]

don't feed the trolls

What if I say *pretty please* ??

I REALLY dont get out much.

 

[SweetDommes]

And now, finally, back to the topic. I'd say be cautious, but this is not a big deal to worry about. I'm very dominant normally, but I occationally have a need to submit ... Fortunately, I have boys to dominate and a girlfriend who will dominate me when I want/need.

Be honest with your partner and yourself. Discuss things and see where it goes.