confused Dom

[pellso27]

My sub is starting to call me her boyfriend, what should I do?

 

[Haku_Z]

I had a sub who called me her boyfriend... feel honored... think of it as, her saying that she belongs to you, that you're her man.

 

[pellso27]

Dom

I had a sub who called me her boyfriend... feel honored... think of it as, her saying that she belongs to you, that you're her man.

So you don't see it as being less of a Dom

 

[Haku_Z]

not at all. syntax good ol boy... just words... gotta look at the meaning.

 

[Marquis]

I have to agree with Haku_Z here. Labels will always be the least important thing in the relationship. Now, if you think your relationship is too vanilla, thats another story altogether, but it has nothing to do with what she calls you.

 

[Epona's Chylde]

Whats wrong with a sub being a girlfriend? I'm not interested in letting any guy dom me unless I consider him my boyfriend/lover/partner. I think that kind of trust needs to be there.

 

[brioche]

Whats wrong with a sub being a girlfriend? I'm not interested in letting any guy dom me unless I consider him my boyfriend/lover/partner. I think that kind of trust needs to be there.

Exactly. Though i would personally be more likely to choose the more inclusive word "partner," no one is going to Dom me without being all of those things. What did you think she should call you?

 

[Guest]

 

[Vixandra]

I'm with brioche- what is she supposed to call you?

Much of the world is not too accepting of a woman introducing a man as "My Master" but "boyfriend' is perfectly acceptable.
It could be a sign she feels close to you. Here's a lovely idea- ask her why she choose that word to identify you with.
Might surprise you.

 

[graceanne]

I call my husband that, my husband. Their's no way I'm going to introduce him as my master, and believe me . . . he doesn't want me to.

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

My sub is starting to call me her boyfriend, what should I do?

When I first read this, it seemed he was disappointed that she was not calling him Master, but I am guessing this is not the case.

My sub introduces me to others as her husband, in our daily dealings with each other I am always Master, and she is "little girl" we are both comfortable with these names.

I could probably count on one hand the times she has used my name to address me, including recently when she was bitten by one of our small snakes, and screamed for me! The tone and the fact she used my name let me know her sense of urgency!

Don't get hung up on what she calls you, enjoy her pride in calling you hers, and have fun. I am so tired of people in the lifestyle that feel that labels are the important part, when in reality, they don't mean anything, the example being a guy with no sub or slave demanding to be called Master.

"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges!"
Alfonso Bedoya
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

 

[His_pita]

We have talked about what I will call him once we're in real life. Being older it seems sort of silly for me to call my Dom my boyfriend. When I talk about him on message boards or to friends that know about us I call him my Joe or my Sweetie. I'm hoping that will work in real life too. I figure if I say it with a possesive attitude people will get that he is my man. Of course I won't say no if he decides to put a ring on my finger as well as a collar. Then I will have the perfect name to call him.

 

[SweetDommes]

I'm introduced to our new boy's family as his girlfriend - it doesn't make me any less of a Domme, it just means that he loves me and wants his friends and family to know that we are together. To my family, he's my boyfriend - doesn't make him any less sub ... both titles are just acceptable ways of describing our relationship to people who don't know the dynamics.

 

[Rrrosyn]

I don't see it as less dominant. I think the question would be more along the lines of whether that is a step you are taking intentionally. Becoming BF/GF could be a different type of relationship than you had planned?

I am j's fiance. In a recent paper he wrote for school I was simply referred to as "the girl I had met."

I am j's fiance. I am his Domme. I am the wife of his soul, his lover, his best friend, his companion, confidant, his inspiration, his strength, his safety net, occassionally his pain in the ass... and so much more. As long as he respects me, I care not what label it is.

(Although there was this one time he rolled over in bed and said, "You are such a sexy bitch." I know he was thinking "sexy beast" but still!)

 

[Starblayde]

If it bothers you that much, talk to her about it. Simple, really.