condoms

[LadyJeanne]

Wow, I had no idea there were so many guys out there with such shy penises. I've never run into a guy who couldn't stay hard with a condom on. Interesting.

Good luck Stace - and stick to your guns on this! You're very, very smart not to fuck a guy without a condom, especially in a casual relationship, especially since he hasn't worn condoms while fucking other people. Good for you.

 

[pimpslap]

try a different brand. I had that problem with durex. Switched to trojan and had a few problems but nowhere near as much.

And it may be a mental comfort level as well. I am usualy a touch shy around new people, but with the last woman I was with. something just connected and there wasn't a problem at all(other than me wearing her out)

 

[sseg]

make it fun...

any tips for me to help a guy i want to sleep with who can't keep an erection when he puts a condom on?

we get him hard, and then as soon as we put a condom on, he goes soft again.

He makes me so horny, and I really wanna sleep with him.

He mentioned viagra but we can't exactly use that everytime we sleep together can we?

Nothing klls the mood more than pressure...

My suggestion is to start eroticizing the condom. Don't make the condom itself a goal, but make it a part of play. Learn to put it on with your mouth, jerk him off with the condom on, use your imagination. Then once he's comfortable with it you can progress to intercourse. This might take a while, but heck, anticipation can build excitement...

Also, there are female condoms, which give you a fair amount of protection against things like herpes as well. They aren't quite as convenient as male condoms, but might be an option for you. Basically they go inside you and have a ring on the outside to hold it open and a ring on the inside to keep it from pulling out as easily. They aren't quite as reliable as male condoms properly used, but better than nothing!

Good luck!

 

[thirty]

any tips for me to help a guy i want to sleep with who can't keep an erection when he puts a condom on?

we get him hard, and then as soon as we put a condom on, he goes soft again.

He makes me so horny, and I really wanna sleep with him.

He mentioned viagra but we can't exactly use that everytime we sleep together can we?

I have the same problem. Sometimes my cock can go limp even after entering the vagina.
If I make love without condoms, then I can enter her right after the erection.
I guess another problem is that the stimulation with condoms is not strong enough to keep the erection.

I remember I didn't use condoms for several years, when I finally had to go back to condoms, I found I spent months to get used to them. That was not easy.

As for you, I think they should have patience, take it as normal, talk something else with him, don't concentrate on it, prepare enough condoms, tried once and again, then finally he will success.

In that situation, I love my wife to be on my top, in that position, I can keep erection much easier, because with my butt on the bed, maybe the blood can be kept in the cock.
After doing it for a little while, my penis gets hard enough inside the vagina, then we can change the position.

 

[thirty]

What's more, maybe it's from my experiences, I can't do it very smoothly when I do it with a girl for the first time. I can perform better and better after that.

So, maybe the boyfriend of this thread starter is somehow in the same shoes.

 

[naughtygirl69s]

I've been with guys that had this problem....usually jerking them off or giving them a BJ after the condom is on, helped. Or doing/saying something sexy while they jerked off to get it really hard, then we could fuck

Overall I hate condoms, and hopefully the next time I have sex, I won't have to use them.


My step-sister, on the other hand is married and used condoms regularly with her husband, because they liked how they contained the mess??? FUCK THAT

 

[midwestyankee]

Just a thought: in their book Human Sexuality, Masters and Johnson reported a simple solution to random or temporary erectile dysfunction: just do it anyway. They found that practically every male they observed with this condition returned to an erect state shortly after beginning PIV sex.

 

[ickle_stace]

Just a thought: in their book Human Sexuality, Masters and Johnson reported a simple solution to random or temporary erectile dysfunction: just do it anyway. They found that practically every male they observed with this condition returned to an erect state shortly after beginning PIV sex.

ooooh thats something to consider

and thanks to everyone else too, lots of things to try

but like i said before, i dunno if i'd have any luck with female condoms, i guess they're worth a try, but like i stated before, i can't even get tampons to insert right, and thats with an applicator, so dunno if i'd manage to get a condom to fit inside me right too, would be scared of it not being in right and getting pregnant, atleast with a male condom i know it's in the right place, obviously they can fail too, but i guess it'd be easier to tell if they've failed or not. hard to explain *blushin*

 

[LadyJeanne]

ooooh thats something to consider

and thanks to everyone else too, lots of things to try

but like i said before, i dunno if i'd have any luck with female condoms, i guess they're worth a try, but like i stated before, i can't even get tampons to insert right, and thats with an applicator, so dunno if i'd manage to get a condom to fit inside me right too, would be scared of it not being in right and getting pregnant, atleast with a male condom i know it's in the right place, obviously they can fail too, but i guess it'd be easier to tell if they've failed or not. hard to explain *blushin*

Well, as long as he's slipping his dick into the sheath with the large ring sitting outside your vagina and on your labia, I don't see how you can be using a female condom wrong.

 

[ickle_stace]

Well, as long as he's slipping his dick into the sheath with the large ring sitting outside your vagina and on your labia, I don't see how you can be using a female condom wrong.

I just couldn't get my head around the idea that if they're so simple to use, why there's such a high failure rate

 

[rthnck]

Overall I hate condoms, and hopefully the next time I have sex, I won't have to use them.

My step-sister, on the other hand is married and used condoms regularly with her husband, because they liked how they contained the mess??? FUCK THAT

The advantage of a condom for me is that it delays the inevitable and allows me to give my SO and significantly longer PIV experience. For that reason alone she never complains. I don't mind sacrificing a little sensation for the chance to give her one shuddering orgasm after another.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I just couldn't get my head around the idea that if they're so simple to use, why there's such a high failure rate

I think it's a case of them being very unfamiliar to most women, more so than just about any other type of birth control. As with anything, including use of the male condom, practice makes perfect.

Failure rates also include people who might be using the particular birth control as their only birth control, but actually don't use it every single time. Like with male condoms.

 

[naughtygirl69s]

Just a thought: in their book Human Sexuality, Masters and Johnson reported a simple solution to random or temporary erectile dysfunction: just do it anyway. They found that practically every male they observed with this condition returned to an erect state shortly after beginning PIV sex.

true, depends on HOW soft they are, if they even have a little bit of an erection, they can insert and often times will get hard

This book sounds interesting..

 

[naxalite0906]

Hey stace *hug* sorry to hear about this..

My suggestion would maybe be a cock ring too. Just get one thats a good fit.. Otherwise its a case of continually teasing the poor guy all day so he is raging hard in the evening.. I'm talking hours of winding him up as ur out and about, maybe then he will stay in the mood

 

[ickle_stace]

I think it's a case of them being very unfamiliar to most women, more so than just about any other type of birth control. As with anything, including use of the male condom, practice makes perfect.

Failure rates also include people who might be using the particular birth control as their only birth control, but actually don't use it every single time. Like with male condoms.

just a bit scared of using something i don't know anything about, and the risk of it failing, when I know male condoms work when used right (my doc has been a broken record about "condoms only break when you don't put them on right") and the fact that i'm 21, still living at home, still at university for 1 and a half more years, not in a steady relationship, and a baby isn't something I have time/money for in my life right now. Plus I've heard they're hard to insert, which won't help me either

I just thought it would be easy to just slip a condom on a guy and everything would be fine, never realised it was so complicated

 

[ickle_stace]

true, depends on HOW soft they are, if they even have a little bit of an erection, they can insert and often times will get hard

This book sounds interesting..

it does doesn't it!

 

[ickle_stace]

Hey stace *hug* sorry to hear about this..

My suggestion would maybe be a cock ring too. Just get one thats a good fit.. Otherwise its a case of continually teasing the poor guy all day so he is raging hard in the evening.. I'm talking hours of winding him up as ur out and about, maybe then he will stay in the mood

i guess i can suggest a cock ring, dunno if he'll agree though lol

the other bit sounds good, although we went out for day last time, and he was horny and hard, i just made him cum with my hands the first time, we didn't realise there'd be problems with the 2nd and wanting to have penetration

 

[naxalite0906]

i guess i can suggest a cock ring, dunno if he'll agree though lol

the other bit sounds good, although we went out for day last time, and he was horny and hard, i just made him cum with my hands the first time, we didn't realise there'd be problems with the 2nd and wanting to have penetration

Maybe thats why he couldnt stay hard due to already cumming and not waiting long enough to recover..

 

[ickle_stace]

Maybe thats why he couldnt stay hard due to already cumming and not waiting long enough to recover..

i dunno, it was a good few hours in between though

 

[kaboom3d]

i guess i can suggest a cock ring, dunno if he'll agree though lol

the other bit sounds good, although we went out for day last time, and he was horny and hard, i just made him cum with my hands the first time, we didn't realise there'd be problems with the 2nd and wanting to have penetration

you have a lot of good suggestions here.
and i will add one more, that might work.
with a guy it is mental, those things between their legs are so strange.
as elaine on seinfeld said "i don't know how you walk around with that"
any way, i'd try to get him excited about wearing a condom.
get the ribbed kind and tell him how much you love the feel. Of course i never felt any difference, but it is for the guy, build his confidence.
try a color, tell him how your fantasy was to be taken with a red penis.
try a flavor, and tell him how much you love it.
tell him you want to save the condom, so you can cover yourself in his cum when he is not around. of course you can dispose of them after he is gone.

try to get him really excited about using a condom.
tell him that your last boyfriends were jerks because thy would not use s condom, and that you think only real me use condoms.
and as was suggested earlier, get him to masturbate with the condom.


good luck..

 

[ickle_stace]

you have a lot of good suggestions here.
and i will add one more, that might work.
with a guy it is mental, those things between their legs are so strange.
as elaine on seinfeld said "i don't know how you walk around with that"
any way, i'd try to get him excited about wearing a condom.
get the ribbed kind and tell him how much you love the feel. Of course i never felt any difference, but it is for the guy, build his confidence.
try a color, tell him how your fantasy was to be taken with a red penis.
try a flavor, and tell him how much you love it.
tell him you want to save the condom, so you can cover yourself in his cum when he is not around. of course you can dispose of them after he is gone.

try to get him really excited about using a condom.
tell him that your last boyfriends were jerks because thy would not use s condom, and that you think only real me use condoms.
and as was suggested earlier, get him to masturbate with the condom.


good luck..

wow, loads of suggestions there, thanks

everyone's been so great, I'm seeing him tomorrow, so can try a few things out hehe

 

[jayuk_73]

content removed

 

[kaboom3d]

how are things working out?

 

[daisey69]

Same problem here... But perhaps a diff. reason

My love and I only use condoms when swinging.... the trouble is, that he no sooner gets it on...........then bye bye erection. No matter what the girl tries it is gone.

It ends up that he has to remove it and gets back with me instead, and the raging hard on returns. I am thinking that he is really only into banging me. But I am not sure. When we used a condom ( after delivery of children) he never had trouble keeping it erect.... Just when we swing.

Do you guys think thay perhaps he really isn't 'into' banging other people? I am not sure of the answer, and I don't want to ask him ( It is an embarassing subject for him).

Really..... Tell me what you think the cause may be.

 

[sseg]

it happens, more than you'd think...

My love and I only use condoms when swinging.... the trouble is, that he no sooner gets it on...........then bye bye erection. No matter what the girl tries it is gone.

It ends up that he has to remove it and gets back with me instead, and the raging hard on returns. I am thinking that he is really only into banging me. But I am not sure. When we used a condom ( after delivery of children) he never had trouble keeping it erect.... Just when we swing.

Do you guys think thay perhaps he really isn't 'into' banging other people? I am not sure of the answer, and I don't want to ask him ( It is an embarassing subject for him).

Really..... Tell me what you think the cause may be.

Erections, barring physiological problems, are largely created and sustained by the mind. For a lot of men arousal is part of a conditioned response, the more conditioned you are to something that stimulates you, the faster you get aroused and the easier it is to sustain it. There's also a lot of performance anxiety when you encounter new people. It's entirely probable that he's conditioned primarily to you, how you look, smell, feel, and the types of things you do to stimulate him. He also knows without thinking how to move with you and knows what to do with you. The condom is a break in concentration and it's harder to regain that mental state. With you, he doesn't have to use that much brain processing power to make love, but with new partners he has to use much more brain processing.

A *lot* of men are like this as well. It's easier for a woman who isn't fully aroused to hide the fact, because penetration can still occur, but if a man isn't fully erect, penetration is much harder to achieve, which then loops back on itself and becomes a vicious cycle making it harder to get erect.