Condom issues?

[electron1]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Hopefully you guys can help.

I'm 20 and into my first committed sexual relationship. After getting past the whole first time anxiety, I'm finding I get very little sensation from intercourse. Besides that initial hot rush feeling, there's not much else besides some pleasure from thrusting. We've had sex on 4 occasions, the first two I was able to cum but not after bringing me to orgasm then backing off just before, the last two we've shortened the foreplay and we stop due to the fact I shortly go soft after entering. I then coax myself to get hard again and repeat until we both just give up.

I use a condom which I know doesn't help matters. I'm uncut also, and condoms aren't really well designed for uncut guys. Usually foreplay involves me getting a handjob so my cock is lubed up pretty well before putting a condom on. After googling around, I've noticed that tight condoms can be a problem. I'm 7 inches long and 5.25 inches around. So far we've tried Trojan Lovestruck, Ultra Pleasure and Ultra Thin. Thus far they've produced more or less the same sensation or lack thereof, the Ultra Thin seems to be the worst while the other two are the same. I'm wondering if there's hope trying out the Trojan Large (or Magnums?), this would be the third box of condoms in 3 weeks so I'm trying to get some input before I buy another box.

I know there's another post like this in the Blank Manual, except it kinda ended between a fight of 'leave the relationship' or 'stay' without anything credible to go on. That seems a bit too drastic. Thanks in advance!

 

[cele2flowers]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Hopefully you guys can help.

I'm 20 and into my first committed sexual relationship. After getting past the whole first time anxiety, I'm finding I get very little sensation from intercourse. Besides that initial hot rush feeling, there's not much else besides some pleasure from thrusting. We've had sex on 4 occasions, the first two I was able to cum but not after bringing me to orgasm then backing off just before, the last two we've shortened the foreplay and we stop due to the fact I shortly go soft after entering. I then coax myself to get hard again and repeat until we both just give up.

I use a condom which I know doesn't help matters. I'm uncut also, and condoms aren't really well designed for uncut guys. Usually foreplay involves me getting a handjob so my cock is lubed up pretty well before putting a condom on. After googling around, I've noticed that tight condoms can be a problem. I'm 7 inches long and 5.25 inches around. So far we've tried Trojan Lovestruck, Ultra Pleasure and Ultra Thin. Thus far they've produced more or less the same sensation or lack thereof, the Ultra Thin seems to be the worst while the other two are the same. I'm wondering if there's hope trying out the Trojan Large (or Magnums?), this would be the third box of condoms in 3 weeks so I'm trying to get some input before I buy another box.

I know there's another post like this in the Blank Manual, except it kinda ended between a fight of 'leave the relationship' or 'stay' without anything credible to go on. That seems a bit too drastic. Thanks in advance!

How about getting a sample of condoms from somewhere online? That way you're not buying box after box trying to find one that might work for you. I like condomsusa.com but just google "condom sample." I've also been told Kimono condoms are good with the sensitivity, but I obviously wouldn't know personally.

Another thought is using a drop of lube with the condom. That's a suggestion I've seen somewhere too.

Good luck with it all though.

 

[noise]

as you are uncut make sure you are pulling the foreskin back before you put the condom on, you want to head to be exposed

 

[skizbees]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Hopefully you guys can help.

I'm 20 and into my first committed sexual relationship. After getting past the whole first time anxiety, I'm finding I get very little sensation from intercourse. Besides that initial hot rush feeling, there's not much else besides some pleasure from thrusting. We've had sex on 4 occasions, the first two I was able to cum but not after bringing me to orgasm then backing off just before , the last two we've shortened the foreplay and we stop due to the fact I shortly go soft after entering. I then coax myself to get hard again and repeat until we both just give up.

I use a condom which I know doesn't help matters. I'm uncut also, and condoms aren't really well designed for uncut guys. Usually foreplay involves me getting a handjob so my cock is lubed up pretty well before putting a condom on. After googling around, I've noticed that tight condoms can be a problem. I'm 7 inches long and 5.25 inches around. So far we've tried Trojan Lovestruck, Ultra Pleasure and Ultra Thin. Thus far they've produced more or less the same sensation or lack thereof, the Ultra Thin seems to be the worst while the other two are the same. I'm wondering if there's hope trying out the Trojan Large (or Magnums?), this would be the third box of condoms in 3 weeks so I'm trying to get some input before I buy another box.

I know there's another post like this in the Blank Manual, except it kinda ended between a fight of 'leave the relationship' or 'stay' without anything credible to go on. That seems a bit too drastic. Thanks in advance!

1. Of course you're not getting sensation; you're wearing a condom to protect yourself and your partner. Tantric sex is the same extended deal: going at it for hours and not being able to come to climax. As for your partner, what about their need to be physically ready for sex? A non aroused sexual area during intercourse ususally ain't a happy one.

2. So you ejaculated but didn't at the same time? You're either lying, or had a case of pre-ejaculate. It was probably the latter. Relax, dear.

3. Being uncut shouldn't be a problem with condom usage. That extra foreskin exposes the head of the penis to look uncut when hard. Are you using enough lubrication with the condom? Try out condoms that fit comfortably without losing circulation, or worse yet, chafes the shaft. Men do not need "carpet burn" on their members.

4. Those penis measurements are a joke, Mr. Coke can.

 

[Reba67]

as you are uncut make sure you are pulling the foreskin back before you put the condom on, you want to head to be exposed

But, uncut and cut penises look pretty much the same erect. The skin (if present) pulls back when erect, so it shouldn't be an issue.

Considering that you can fit an entire forearm into a condom, it's not like there's "not enough room" for the little bit of extra skin on the end.

 

[jessthegirl]

your most important sex organ is your brain not your cock.

 

[BurgerFuhrer]

Jeez, you psuedo-intellectual hippy chicks. It IS the cock. How do I know? I gots one. Anyway, all joking aside, I experienced what you're experiencing now. I would recommend a lot of QUALITY foreplay till you're dying to have intercourse, and I'm sure sooner or later you'll master staying erect when it's needed.

 

[tanyachrs]

Those Inspiral ones seemed to work well for a friend who was uncut. He liked the sliding around the head area which is more what he was used to for sensation.

 

[raynmakr]

Help

I can understand your situation, or at least things from th woman's point of view. I was my husband's first sexual relationship,( he wasn't my first, but that's a whole other matter) He had issiues with condoms as well, and he hates having the foreskin pulled back due to sensitivity issues. I can usually get him going with LOTS of foreplay. one of the biggest things that helped him was that I resolved to be understanding about it, and that boosted everything.11 years and 4 kids later... we still are hot and heavy!!! He was my first experience with an intact man, and if anything were to happen to my husband, I don't think it would be as good with a man who isn't intact.from my experience., cut men tend to be like battering rams and jackhammers, and I feel raw after, no matter how much lube and what condoms are used. Good on ya for using a condom!!!! just remeber, no glove, no love!!!

 

[Eilan]

Those penis measurements are a joke, Mr. Coke can.

IIRC, a Coke can is about 8 inches around.

I've been on the receiving end of comments like yours when I mentioned the girth of my ex in a previous thread, even when I was trying to make a point about some people having way too much of a good thing.

Just because some of you haven't encountered genitalia that's significantly longer or wider than what's considered typical doesn't mean that they don't exist outside of porn. I understand that people around here can get sick of reading posts from guys who brag about the size of their cyber cocks. However, they forget that some people might actually be telling the truth.

Just trying to give a de-lurker the benefit of the doubt. I'm feeling generous tonight.

 

[SweetErika]

How often do you masturbate? Try laying off while you're in a relationship at least for a bit, and see if that helps.

At 7" and 5" in CIRCUMFERENCE (a coke can's much larger, folks), you shouldn't need larger condoms. Like Reba said, the regular ones stretch plenty for most men. Using large condoms when you don't need them could result in it coming off, which defeats the purpose. At the very least, check what size the Magnums are recommended for - that info is on several websites. You might, however, find the condoms with extra room at the tip to give more sensation.

I also agree with the drop or two of lube (we like silicone) in the tip of the condom and plenty of foreplay before attempting sex ideas.

Are you thinking hot thoughts/fantasizing during sex? Don't underestimate the power of the mind, and maybe try slipping into your best masturbatory fantasy or focusing on the areas of your partner or the experience that really get you going on your own. I've had several partners who love looking at their cocks entering me, so we've often used positions that made that possible/easy (certain positions might also give you more stimulation, so play around).

Finally, don't reinforce the idea that condoms cut out all sensation because you're going to create more problems for yourself by doing so. Sure, barriers reduce feeling, but they're just a fact of life and I've never had a partner who couldn't come due to the (regular sized) condom, which should tell you something.

 

[AlecBond]

abcde

 

[electron1]

Thank you to those that actually provided constructive comments. For the record to skizbees and all, I am that size, why the hell would I lie anyway? And I think at this point in my life I would know the different between precum and actual cum. Plus it's a typo, I meant she brings me close to orgasm. Kudos to those that have uncut experience, with the trends in North America it's like we're a mutant.

Well after reading the first few responses I gave up and just went out to buy a box of Magnums. Wow that's a much better fit, it's not strangulating and I can actually roll the condom down without my hand slipping 2 times at each part of the roll. With sarcasm, I didn't know you can avoid the whole griding one wall of the urethra against the other by the bottom ring. I jacked off with one to test it out, there's definately more sensation and the foreskin is actually involved rather than being 'smushed' up against the shaft. That kinda made a dead feeling even if I did roll it around. I didn't use a normal 'death grip' either, just light quick strokes. They should really put on the box "For penises of x inches in size or else". It's snug and doesn't seem like it's going to slip off.

For those that have asked: yes, there is already a lot of lube on my cock to begin with so adding more to the tip isn't that much more productive but I'll add it on next time. My foreskin is rolled all the way back before putting the condom on, that is the proper way to use a condom after all. My partner is quite aroused from foreplay. Usually what happens is I finger her till she's about to come then we try sex. I then enter about an inch a few times to get the lubrication spread around then go for it (then things go sour). And no, I like this relationship and I like the woman I'm with for her body and mind. I'm not going to throw away something we both value because I don't know something about myself.

So we'll see how this works out. I googled this too as well, it mentioned a looser condom should help. I know it's a condom and there is going to be less sensation anyway, but growing up now, the old addage of "don't touch yourself at night" has been replaced with "if you don't use a condom you're a dirty bastard". It's taboo to not use a condom.

 

[tryptamine]

I feel for you. I have been in the exact same position, first sexual relationship and everything.

Firstly, ignore people who say it's psychological...it's almost always women who say this because many don't realise what having a condom on is actually like. It is psychological if you're resigned to not coming beforehand because you won't if that's the case. But if you're in a good mindset and yet still can't come then it's just a result of having a layer of plastic between you and anything that's going on. Condoms remove about 80% of the sensation. But they're necessary...things that I found do work are:

1. Just getting used to it. Eventually you'll get used to it. Trust me.

2. Finding the condom for you. I don't like the ultra thin ones either...I think the most important thing is to have room. The only condoms that I will use are the ones that have a balloon shaped tip. Like they are a normal shape except at the end, where it has a round balloon shaped end with lots more space. This means that there is more room around the head of the penis and you will feel more, especially if you...

3. Put some lube on the inside of the end of the condom. Just put a little on the bit that will be touching the head of your penis. This makes a big difference.

Condoms are inconvenient but often necessary. It is possible to have sex with one on, no matter how unlikely that may seem now. It's also still possible to have great sex with one on.

Good luck!

 

[BurgerFuhrer]

I feel for you. I have been in the exact same position, first sexual relationship and everything.

Firstly, ignore people who say it's psychological...it's almost always women who say this because many don't realise what having a condom on is actually like. It is psychological if you're resigned to not coming beforehand because you won't if that's the case. But if you're in a good mindset and yet still can't come then it's just a result of having a layer of plastic between you and anything that's going on. Condoms remove about 80% of the sensation. But they're necessary...things that I found do work are:

1. Just getting used to it. Eventually you'll get used to it. Trust me.

2. Finding the condom for you. I don't like the ultra thin ones either...I think the most important thing is to have room. The only condoms that I will use are the ones that have a balloon shaped tip. Like they are a normal shape except at the end, where it has a round balloon shaped end with lots more space. This means that there is more room around the head of the penis and you will feel more, especially if you...

3. Put some lube on the inside of the end of the condom. Just put a little on the bit that will be touching the head of your penis. This makes a big difference.

Condoms are inconvenient but often necessary. It is possible to have sex with one on, no matter how unlikely that may seem now. It's also still possible to have great sex with one on.

Good luck!

I like you. Í'm sick of all the "It's your brain, not cock, that counts" propaganda. Please. It's a delicate mix of the 2. Believe it or not, but extremely horny guys can also be loving or at least sensual and sensitive to the needs of their partner. I love my girlfriend and love the sex we have. But surprise, surprise.. to all you who think younger guys don't pay attention to a lady's needs, I'd say that 3/4 of my sexual excitement/arousal and pleasure is pleasing my woman and seeing her in a state of ecstacy. Sorry bout the rant.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

What are you talking about that rolling back the foreskin is "proper procedure?"

My husband is uncut. We dont' do anything special when we slide the condom on and he has no problems coming. Maybe you're hurting yourself by moving your foreskin into a painful position?

I'm glad the magnums work-my advice was you won't know until you try. There are also ultra thins made by trojan that my husband says make a small difference in his sensation.

 

[skizbees]

So you didn't catch that the Coke can comment was a joke? I should add a smiley face to confirm that it was. . You found condoms that will work for you. Problem solved, right?

 

[SweetErika]

My partner is quite aroused from foreplay. Usually what happens is I finger her till she's about to come then we try sex.

Out of curiosity, is there a reason you're stopping when she's "about to come"? Unless she's done after one orgasm (a very small percent of women are), why not give her at least one before sex, then see if she can have at least one more during sex via g-spot or clitoral stimulation? We're usually more likely to come during sex if we've had an orgasm beforehand, and find more orgasms to be better than fewer.

 

[electron1]

Amen BurgerFuhrer, I don't start getting hard until my hands are running over her body and watching her react in pleasure. The more fun she has the more I have.

deliciously_naughty: Each guy is different with how much stimulation they want on their head. I can roll my foreskin entirely back naturally and I enjoy more exposure. The ultra thins are of the straight cylinder shape and they feel the worst for me. I couldn't come in them at all while the flared or bulbous head ones worked after some focus.

SweetErika: I stop fingering her just before comming since she asks and wants to come while I'm inside of her. Usually she's already had one orgasm by then. Penetrative orgasms are much easier to have than clitoral orgasms when it's not herself so it works out.

 

[Phalanx1710]

I wish I'd found this thread sooner so I could have eleviated some of the pain you were going through.

I was in an almost identical situation to you. Also 20, very similar dimensions and normal condoms were 'strangling' the blood flow to my penis when I tried to have sex. As a consequence I spent a couple of months worried and slightly depressed at not being able to give my girlfriend a good seeing to.

Fortunately my girlfriend was very understanding and clever and we went out and bought some Magnum condoms.

As you already appear to have found out, they obviously did the trick. I don't get the exact science of it, but all I can say is that if you need to use them you shouldn't be shy about it; just go out and get them and use them.

Disregard the silly comments that are on here (you know which ones I mean), as it has been said a lot of times everyone is different and they cannot relate to you, especially if they don't even have a cock.

I'm glad you worked out your problems, and know the relief that I felt once things were working properly was great.

Congrats, and enjoy your sex life!

""Amen BurgerFuhrer, I don't start getting hard until my hands are running over her body and watching her react in pleasure. The more fun she has the more I have."" Again... exactly the same

 

[noise]

What are you talking about that rolling back the foreskin is "proper procedure?"

My husband is uncut. We dont' do anything special when we slide the condom on and he has no problems coming. Maybe you're hurting yourself by moving your foreskin into a painful position?

I'm glad the magnums work-my advice was you won't know until you try. There are also ultra thins made by trojan that my husband says make a small difference in his sensation.

if you read the instructions on the condom websites it tells you to pull foreskin back then put the condom on

 

[deliciously_naughty]

if you read the instructions on the condom websites it tells you to pull foreskin back then put the condom on

Shrug...I wouldn't know as I don't have a cock, nor do I read condom websites. I learned the old fashioned way how to put a condom on (my mouth, a non lubricated condom, a banana and supervision-just kidding, I learned when I trained to do safe sex workshops).

The foreskin thing also only ever came up once before my husband.

I doubt that the position of the foreskin has little to do with my chances of getting knocked up, so as long as my husband is comfortable I really don't care. I just brought it up since that sounds painful, and pain can interfere with ejaculation (unless pain stimulates your ejaculation)