Compliancy and the Dom…

[Shankara20]

I had eye surgery recently. That sort of work requires becoming compliant, very compliant. As I was there in the bed awaiting the roll-in to the procedure room I started to feel my Top side surfacing and I had to remind myself that “no you cannot take control right now”. I was able to relax into the experience and contain that part of me that pretends that I am god and that this is my world.

Several beds over was a gentleman struggling to follow instruction. Earlier he was a problem for the nurse who was trying to put his eye drops in – he just did not do what she directed. It is possible that there were circumstances I did not witness that made it difficult for him to understand or respond to directions so I am in no place to judge him.

But thinking about his struggle stimulated this question – Do those that tend to take the lead in controlling a situation, Dom/Top/etc/etc, ever experience difficulty becoming / remaining obedient - acquiescent - compliant when that is what is required?

EG comes to my mind with this question given his Dom nature and the incredible medical experience he had with his heart surgery. That said - I am interested in anyone’s experience.



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[museofdragon]

Dragon says that he gets the heebie jeebies in the barber's chair, because, to quote him, "It is 30 minutes that I have no freaking control whatsoever. It is maddening."

Not on the same lines as surgery, but the same concept.

 

[Shankara20]

Dragon says that he gets the heebie jeebies in the barber's chair, because, to quote him, "It is 30 minutes that I have no freaking control whatsoever. It is maddening."

Not on the same lines as surgery, but the same concept.

that is exactly what I was looking for - thanks

 

[museofdragon]

that is exactly what I was looking for - thanks

You are quite welcome. He complains about it every time, but oddly enough the time we spend with me shaving him doesn't bother him at all. Odd the different mental connections and connotations.

 

[Netzach]

I had eye surgery recently. That sort of work requires becoming compliant, very compliant. As I was there in the bed awaiting the roll-in to the procedure room I started to feel my Top side surfacing and I had to remind myself that “no you cannot take control right now”. I was able to relax into the experience and contain that part of me that pretends that I am god and that this is my world.

Several beds over was a gentleman struggling to follow instruction. Earlier he was a problem for the nurse who was trying to put his eye drops in – he just did not do what she directed. It is possible that there were circumstances I did not witness that made it difficult for him to understand or respond to directions so I am in no place to judge him.

But thinking about his struggle stimulated this question – Do those that tend to take the lead in controlling a situation, Dom/Top/etc/etc, ever experience difficulty becoming / remaining obedient - acquiescent - compliant when that is what is required?

EG comes to my mind with this question given his Dom nature and the incredible medical experience he had with his heart surgery. That said - I am interested in anyone’s experience.



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LOL, this thread was made for me.

I need to be sedated at the dentist, for some reason that's really bad.

My reaction to Crohn's was basically to lose myself in it intellectually - I'd probably be reading medpub now if I wasn't in remission and if I never got in remission I'd die on the toilet with a Humira study in my hands. Not being in control of my day to day, not being in control of my appearance - was by far the worst of it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I had eye surgery recently. That sort of work requires becoming compliant, very compliant. As I was there in the bed awaiting the roll-in to the procedure room I started to feel my Top side surfacing and I had to remind myself that “no you cannot take control right now”. I was able to relax into the experience and contain that part of me that pretends that I am god and that this is my world.

Several beds over was a gentleman struggling to follow instruction. Earlier he was a problem for the nurse who was trying to put his eye drops in – he just did not do what she directed. It is possible that there were circumstances I did not witness that made it difficult for him to understand or respond to directions so I am in no place to judge him.

But thinking about his struggle stimulated this question – Do those that tend to take the lead in controlling a situation, Dom/Top/etc/etc, ever experience difficulty becoming / remaining obedient - acquiescent - compliant when that is what is required?

EG comes to my mind with this question given his Dom nature and the incredible medical experience he had with his heart surgery. That said - I am interested in anyone’s experience.
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I am never compliant, but I can be cooperative.

Eb

 

[graceanne]

Well I can attest to K being a pain in the ass when he's sick, but I don't know about really sick, or having surgery or whatever.

I have heard about when he had his tonsels out, and it kinda backs up what you're saying.

K and his brother had their tonsils (how do you spell that? ) out at the same time. K's step mom (who's a sweetie) was put in charge of K cause they figured he'd be the easy one. K's dad was put in charge of F, cause they figured he'd be the difficult one.

K took one bite of ice cream, pressed his lips together, shook his head and refused to eat or drink anything else. They even switched his folks around, thinking that his dad might be able to get him to drink or eat something (cause F turned out to be really obedient), and HE couldn't. It probably reduced his recover time A LOT, but no one would could get him to eat or drink anything for a while.

 

[Marquis]

This is a tremendous problem for me.

I am constantly running into situations where I've crossed over from confidence into an egotism that is completely out of touch with reality.

This is a very real and serious problem for me. Not a funny problem or a minor nuisance.

It affects my ability to maintain relationships of every kind; romantic, fraternal, professional....

There are times where I basically need to be overwhelmed with disapproval to get the picture, and when those times come and those people offer their disapproval, I am usually very grateful afterwards.

Very.

 

[FurryFury]

I am not a Dom but I too have problems with giving up control to "helping" professionals period, let alone those that I basically don't know or trust.

Lately with my health challenge I've had to do that to a certain extent. However I also have researched this myself and pretty much followed my own path.

It's really chaffing my ass to have to do and hour and a half to two hours of PT each night and see a professional at least twice a week for about thirty minutes each.

I know many people have greater problems than I do but this sucks. It's hard for me to adjust to. I simply want it all gone, which isn't going to happen.

Fury

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I am never compliant, but I can be cooperative.

Eb

Exactly.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm not necessarily a Toppish sort, and (when necessary) I do try to cooperate, but a lot of the time I don't cooperate gracefully.

Examples:

I can't deal with massages. I get it, I understand it's all about me relaxing and letting someone else manipulate my body; it's supposed to be a good thing. Problem? On average, I need to know someone about 3-5 *years* before I trust them enough to A) touch my back or B) control my body. RMTs get annoyed with me, because I refuse to let them move my limbs. My attitude tends to be it's my body, tell me when to roll over/move my leg/give you my arm, and I'll take care of that for you. LOL

 

[SweetErika]

I'm not necessarily a Toppish sort, and (when necessary) I do try to cooperate, but a lot of the time I don't cooperate gracefully.

Examples:

I can't deal with massages. I get it, I understand it's all about me relaxing and letting someone else manipulate my body; it's supposed to be a good thing. Problem? On average, I need to know someone about 3-5 *years* before I trust them enough to A) touch my back or B) control my body. RMTs get annoyed with me, because I refuse to let them move my limbs. My attitude tends to be it's my body, tell me when to roll over/move my leg/give you my arm, and I'll take care of that for you. LOL

This was going to be my main example, too. I can deal with, and really do enjoy massages, but I'm more likely than not to be as picky and vocal as all get out.

My current MT is excellent--the type that tends to just know what I need--but I was specific from the start about what I can't handle, and tell her we need to make adjustments at times.

However, when it comes to my husband or new people (e.g. the students I'm currently using to replace Hubby while he's gone), the Dominant in me takes over. I'm clear about what I need, what hurts, ask to skip a lot of areas to focus on certain ones, refuse to flip on my back unless they'll use a specific technique on my neck and give (what amount to) orders when it comes to certain things.

I don't think I'm rude or too difficult, and a lot of MTs like specificity and communication, but I can see where I'd be less pleasant to work on that someone who doesn't know what they need and/or enjoys just about everything. To be fair to myself, I was a lot easier before my neck injury and I just went for relaxation, instead of pain relief/rehab. Now i just feel an overwhelming need to direct because the wrong things increase my pain (which also makes me more cranky and difficult, in general ).

I'm really not one of those easy patients who goes in and takes all of the doc's suggestions, either though. I almost always research beforehand, ask lots of questions and propose what I believe to be the best course of action for me. Again, I don't think this is a bad thing, but I'm guessing a lot of docs would rather have a less active patient.

 

[neonflux]

I am NOT an easy patient, LOL. I am definitely a control freak when it comes to my health - always come prepared with my own research, lots of pesky questions, etc.

That said, and not sure if this is because I work in the health field, once I make my mind up to go through a procedure, I am gladly compliant as long as everything is going as expected, perhaps because I want the practitioner to do their best and am afraid to break their concentration. Some of my compliance must also be due to the switch in me, because under those conditions, I can relax into anything and do exactly what I am asked to do with no problem...

sigmoidoscopy tomorrow, hmmm..... (although I'm told that one automatically obeys while under whatever anesthetic they use)

 

[graceanne]

Oddly enough, with the exception of K, I won't let people give me massages. For one thing no one ever wants to take my word that I DO NOT want my spine touched. K knows, but my spine is very sensitive. It hurts if he runs his fingers over it - pressing on it makes me yell.

Add to that I have an irrational . . . phobia about my back. I have severe scoliosis. It's not bad enough that I need surgery, but it's bad enough that I've lost 5 inches in height to it. I do not like people looking at my back. I know (cause I've looked) that you can't tell just by looking at it, but when people look at my back I just KNOW that they can see my curve.