Communicating Submissiveness Anew

[traveler99]

In my experience with women (I'm a guy), their sexual submissiveness is expressed gradually in coming to know the person. First, perhaps, in the way she responds to suggestions about food or general activity, then in how she responds to a touch and then a kiss, and eventually, if it goes that far, in sexual activity. Some women show/reveal all very quickly, and some are more reserved or shy about showing/revealing how turned on they are being submissive sexually. Some are ready to kneel or obey or whatever right away, and some are afraid of turning off the guy by being too submissive too quickly, or at all.

I'm interested in folks' experiences with this dimension and, of course, am interested in how women experience the pattern of their showing to a lover their submissiveness (which, often, has been secret from other lovers). How and when do you take that risk?

Answer here - or, if too shy, by email or PM, or talk by cam or whatever.

David

 

[rosco rathbone]

Subdar---the "smile of submissiveness".

Big smile with eyes that make contact for a moment and then look down.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

The first man I submitted to told me that it was exactly that gesture that told him I would submit to him long before he required it of me.

Subdar---the "smile of submissiveness".

Big smile with eyes that make contact for a moment and then look down.

 

[Neco]

Oh my... hehe a guy I have been dating who seems to be pretty vanilla as far as I can tell keeps pointing out that I do this and asking me why. And now that I know why...

Subdar---the "smile of submissiveness".

Big smile with eyes that make contact for a moment and then look down.

 

[BeachGurl2]

Subdar---the "smile of submissiveness".

Big smile with eyes that make contact for a moment and then look down.

*smiling . . . eyes make contact . . . eyes lower . . . hands instinctively come together behind back*

I've never hidden my submissiveness nor have I revealed it gradually. For me, my submissiveness is such a part of me that it is usually obvious to a Dominant. And that look is one that I personally have used without thinking about it - completely subconsciously. In fact, I didn't know I had used it until it was pointed out to me. Just another thing that is natural to a submissive that we don't even think about. It's just who we are, in my opinion.

 

[babiesmiles]

I have never hidden my " submissiveness" to anyone I cared to show it, even when I didn't know yet it was called this way nor all the consequential implications of the "term" .

And a special kind of glance both wild and shy at same time has always been the first, sometimes decisive, way to show my inner self .

In my past relationships ( vanilla ones) some men accepted and enjoyed it even in a complete mutual unawareness of its inner meaning , some didn't care at all, some were scared , but every man I have had a worthy relation with definitively knew about that, although unconcious, attitude of mine .

Now that I (finally) know something more about myself and my inclinations, besides the world of feelings and meanings which lie behind my state of mind, I am even more clear .

Now that I know better about it I could never renounce to be straight clear , and if the case to give some additional explanations about who I am and what I am looking for in a relationship.

Knowledge is strenght at last, and at the moment it is working pretty good

 

[raven2]

I have never hidden my " submissiveness" to anyone I cared to show it, even when I didn't know yet it was called this way nor all the consequential implications of the "term" .

And a special kind of glance both wild and shy at same time has always been the first, sometimes decisive, way to show my inner self .

In my past relationships ( vanilla ones) some men accepted and enjoyed it even in a complete mutual unawareness of its inner meaning , some didn't care at all, some were scared , but every man I have had a worthy relation with definitively knew about that, although unconcious, attitude of mine .

Now that I (finally) know something more about myself and my inclinations, besides the world of feelings and meanings which lie behind my state of mind, I am even more clear .

Now that I know better about it I could never renounce to be straight clear , and if the case to give some additional explanations about who I am and what I am looking for in a relationship.

Knowledge is strenght at last, and at the moment it is working pretty good

It sure sounds like you have gotten a clear picture of yourself. I always have found that if you do have a clear picture and, keep that picture in focus,
you will make the right decisions.

 

[babiesmiles]

It sure sounds like you have gotten a clear picture of yourself. I always have found that if you do have a clear picture and, keep that picture in focus,
you will make the right decisions.

It took long time but yes , now the picture starts to show its outlines ! Long way is ahead but it is a start . Thank you

 

[traveler99]

showing it

It is quite interesting seeing here the varied responses to what I asked

from the looking down gesture after looking him in the eyes.
to others

and how some men just don't get it
and
others do get it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

It is quite interesting seeing here the varied responses to what I asked

from the looking down gesture after looking him in the eyes.
to others

and how some men just don't get it
and
others do get it.

i never look away from a person when speaking to them...unless i see them looking at me like they "know" then i blush and look away.

 

[pandoravampire]

for me, i was desparate to meet a telepathic dom, who would know i was submissive, despite my contradictory behaviour.

Hence first chapter of my bdsm journey spent as a top.

For me, the submission came with trust of a very special person. Slowly and insiduously, over time.

Now he has that trust, i can signal my submission easily. Its not something i am consciously doing, it is a need in me that seems to leak. In the way i carry myself, in the way i respond, in how close i need to be, in how much i touch him, in how i respond to him.

As for the 'look and then look away' thang, id read you were supposed to do that, so tried it, ha! Just got told that he wanted to see my eyes, that they give away far more than i actually mean to say, so i was not permitted to avert them.

Whilst we were patiently waiting for my 'inner sub' to turn up, i got to be his private slut instead. Suitably motivated by my lust, there was really very little id balk at to get my own satisfaction. Being able to cum at the drop of a hat helped heaps with this role lol. And when the going got tough with D/s, this was a fall back for us.

But sexual submission was not my goal. Submitting outside of a bedroom was. I needed the control of another who's dominance and control of me, was stronger than my need to dominate.

Only now, does that 'look' work. I simply would not of been able to pull it off before. In order to look submissive, i simply had to feel submissive. Common sense really.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I guess I am more into directness than working on finding glances and gestures to show someone I am a submissive. Asmanyofthe models for variuos fetish and porn sites can tell you, it easy to learn those physical tactics, much more difficult to live the reality. I have known women who did things such as lowered eyes, hnds behind bcks etc., who were not submissives, but did have low self esteem and/or were abused women. That in part is what I think sometimes contributes to the image a submissive has to be non-assertive in their general life and totally helpless. I knew who I was, what I wanted, and went out to find it more so than hoping some male would notice me doing a series of gestures, and hopefully not being an abuser, decide I was a submissive and he might be interested. So how do I communicate my submissiveness? I submit.

Catalina