Duleigh
Just an old dog
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2004
- Posts
- 5,792
My most recent Stormwatch story, Stormwatch - A Rest for the Heart is about a veteran with PTSD who allowed it to get to a point where suicide seemed to be the next logical choice for him. In the end he does get help, and I close the story with a list of help-line phone numbers for veterans and their care givers who find themselves in that situation. To me the story was there, not spectacular, I still think my Gate series was a better story.
It was the comments from the readers that make a better story than the one I wrote, I just want to share their stories.
Topoftheham wrote: I applaud your writing about PTSD. I am a Vet and when I was 19 I knew a few Nam Vets that would just breakdown like Effi (the story lead) for no reason. it is real. (I saw the same thing way too often)
Turning502019 wrote: As a 20+ year vet I can tell you did your homework with PTSD and survivors guilt or spoke from experience. I really connected with this story and hope there is another seeing them through
Anonymous wrote the story I wanted to write: As a Viet Nam vet, we mostly just sucked it in and went silent. I did not have as much trauma as Josh but the PTSD and survivors guilt are there lurking. My beautiful wife had been in a nine year long bad relationship and we could not break through the walls we had put up. We are still together after 52 years but we would have been so much happier if we had had proper support for our traumas. Luckily in the last year we have broken through and have a new relationship based on communication, trust, and love. (I wish I had a way to reach out to him, what a story)
SnatchKisser wrote a MUCH better story than I did, I think - Five stars aren't enough to properly reward this emotional chapter. At times reading it was like trying to drink from a firehouse. I was never in the military but I've been an LEO for more than three and a half decades. Having to watch someone die violently in your presence, despite anything you do trying to prevent their death, and later asking yourself "Why?" "Why am I still alive? Why am I not the one on the ground, knowing that I won't be going home at the end of this shift and that nothing is going to change that fact." Waking in the middle of the night, sodden with sweat and pulse racing after reliving some traumatic experience again for the umpteenth time in vivid dream. Tasting bile in the back of your mouth, with your head spinning and ears ringing as confusion slowly ebbs while you gradualy realize where you are, that you were dreaming. Again.
Even if you have a loving and understanding partner they can never truly understand because they've never had to face circumstances like that. But if you are facing demons of your own, don't put it off, find someone to talk to. You're not alone, don't try to face it alone.
I was worried about getting feedback from gunship crews, for one thing, they're crazy and will write anything (which is why I love them so much) but mostly because I didn't go up. I waited in line waiting for the call that came too late so I wrote my story based on bits and pieces from the gunners in my life. Finally an Illumination Officer from an AC-119K, the most heavily armed gunship ever to punch a hole in a cloud (six gatling guns! 600 rounds per second!) shared this with me:
Great story, brought back memories of Vietnam. I was a scanner/flare kicker on AC-119K Stinger Gunships. I've had PTSD and lived with for years. Thank You for the life line numbers you gave. Call Sign Grey Ghost.
It was the comments from the readers that make a better story than the one I wrote, I just want to share their stories.
Topoftheham wrote: I applaud your writing about PTSD. I am a Vet and when I was 19 I knew a few Nam Vets that would just breakdown like Effi (the story lead) for no reason. it is real. (I saw the same thing way too often)
Turning502019 wrote: As a 20+ year vet I can tell you did your homework with PTSD and survivors guilt or spoke from experience. I really connected with this story and hope there is another seeing them through
Anonymous wrote the story I wanted to write: As a Viet Nam vet, we mostly just sucked it in and went silent. I did not have as much trauma as Josh but the PTSD and survivors guilt are there lurking. My beautiful wife had been in a nine year long bad relationship and we could not break through the walls we had put up. We are still together after 52 years but we would have been so much happier if we had had proper support for our traumas. Luckily in the last year we have broken through and have a new relationship based on communication, trust, and love. (I wish I had a way to reach out to him, what a story)
SnatchKisser wrote a MUCH better story than I did, I think - Five stars aren't enough to properly reward this emotional chapter. At times reading it was like trying to drink from a firehouse. I was never in the military but I've been an LEO for more than three and a half decades. Having to watch someone die violently in your presence, despite anything you do trying to prevent their death, and later asking yourself "Why?" "Why am I still alive? Why am I not the one on the ground, knowing that I won't be going home at the end of this shift and that nothing is going to change that fact." Waking in the middle of the night, sodden with sweat and pulse racing after reliving some traumatic experience again for the umpteenth time in vivid dream. Tasting bile in the back of your mouth, with your head spinning and ears ringing as confusion slowly ebbs while you gradualy realize where you are, that you were dreaming. Again.
Even if you have a loving and understanding partner they can never truly understand because they've never had to face circumstances like that. But if you are facing demons of your own, don't put it off, find someone to talk to. You're not alone, don't try to face it alone.
I was worried about getting feedback from gunship crews, for one thing, they're crazy and will write anything (which is why I love them so much) but mostly because I didn't go up. I waited in line waiting for the call that came too late so I wrote my story based on bits and pieces from the gunners in my life. Finally an Illumination Officer from an AC-119K, the most heavily armed gunship ever to punch a hole in a cloud (six gatling guns! 600 rounds per second!) shared this with me:
Great story, brought back memories of Vietnam. I was a scanner/flare kicker on AC-119K Stinger Gunships. I've had PTSD and lived with for years. Thank You for the life line numbers you gave. Call Sign Grey Ghost.
