Jackie.Hikaru
See you space cowboy
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2019
- Posts
- 1,302
wonder what it takes to bait commentarista to drop a blog into my story comment sectionI'm pretty sure I have not either. We must not write good enough titles or story descriptions!
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wonder what it takes to bait commentarista to drop a blog into my story comment sectionI'm pretty sure I have not either. We must not write good enough titles or story descriptions!
Thanks, @orangecurious , and glad you enjoyed it!Great story
Thanks, Freya, I hope you get one soon!Now I want a massage!!![]()
outstanding
by Anonymous user on 02/12/2024
It is fascinating to experience the developing relationship between the main characters in the sixth chapter of this outstanding and heartwarming story. The writing is excellent, and the author proves that the romantic and the erotic are not mutually exclusive. This is perhaps the best chapter yet in the story. Five stars
Are you certain it's a nightmare, and not just reality? Because it sounds a lot like my life.Bravo. Love the idea of him having to actually focus on work. Although it reminds me of a recurring nightmare I often have about being just about to have sex but something interferes lol.
Thanks! I'll probably write more, if and when inspiration strikes. Mel is certainly fun to write.I think you have a fun couple here with plenty of options to continue should you choose.
I love wicked. It is wicked good up north!In my brief three weeks here, my favorite has been:
by WantingToWriteGood on 02/08/2024
Wonderful writing. A complete story yet leaves me wanting to know more about them. May you add many more stories to this site.
by Anonymous user on 02/08/2024
Just exactly perfect. A polished gem.
by Comentarista82 on 02/08/2024
This is a remarkably endearing little account! Yes, touch can be that powerful, because if you know where to tap on your wrist, you can slow down your heart rate and release endorphins to calm yourself as one example. So a lot can be said by touch where words don't achieve the same purpose. Now, I don't know how many 19-year-olds would ever notice this level of detail to be fair to reality and such ... but for the sake of this story I'll suspend a little belief on that one part. I awarded this story a 5, because so few authors include something so incredibly simple--yet so incredibly powerful--it really does touch the heart. Well done, and you've earned a like and a follower.
by muskyboy on 02/08/2024
Very nice but you need to finish this story. It's too incomplete to score well.
by Anonymous user on 02/09/2024
Not exactly a romance but definitely a fine story indeed. 5 stars.
by Comentarista82 on 02/14/2024
Mena:
***
I realize I don't speak for the majority, but I still have to confess that I am supremely shocked that your wonderful story based on body language, anxiety, and the supreme power and therapy of touch on another person flew so low under the radar. I know that it's impossible to control readers and what they consume-- and while one hopes that a well-written story will garner sufficient amounts of the right kind of readers - - it sadly doesn't always happen, and I'll be really blunt: your story got seriously hosed on the attention it should have enjoyed. I sincerely hope that you still appreciate the fact that you had a few insightful comments, and that you will continue to write more stories despite the readership at large's short-sightedness on overlooking this. I personally enjoyed it, and I'm going to tell you that structurally it was a home run. In fact, it is the only story I remember ever commenting on that so nailed both the power of body language and the power of touch, and really demanded the reader noticing things.
****
I will mention one other very odd thing: for some reason, the five I legitimately rated you disappeared from the time I left the review and when I just happened to check today, because I visited a different story and found my five was blanked too. I know authors don't have the power to remove a vote --and neither would any author in one's right mind ever consider removing a five that was legitimately awarded- - so I'm just confused at how it happened. I hope it's not a systemic problem with the scoring, because this is the first contest I voted in that I ever remember where I've seen any legitimate rating somehow disappear. While I realize it would not have helped you win, because not enough readers came by to consume your content, it's still bothers me that somehow your story would have a 5 moved from it and not receive the benefit of a legitimate vote.
***
Please continue writing, and whatever you may have planned for your future outputs fascinates me to possibly consume later on. I look forward to it.
by LitCrit on 02/26/2024
Probably the best description of the way the world affects someone on the Autism Spectrum that I've ever read. 4 stars only because it was too short.
by Comentarista82 on 02/27/2024
This one is kind of a toss-up for me, as the story frames the gift (and his unheard "love") as the main items that spur on Delilah to achieve.
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For one, I appreciate the idea, that the narrative posits an intangible item as what helps her achieve success; on that, that's completely unique--and it flips the theory that tangibles outweigh intangibles. However, once a story hangs its hat on something so crucial...here's the problem: there's no guy so broke he can't afford to to buy some nice stationary and write a hand-written note that expresses what he otherwise can't say; likewise, there are tons of stuffed animals that are unique and cute at most grocery stores that are $8 dollars and would make a huge impact. I simply can't believe he couldn't have come up with something small yet meaningful to give her...as it could have even been as simple as a polished but pretty rock that meant something to them both, like from their shared childhood. To elevate a gift to front and center stage means it must certainly be unique, but also critical it be something personal AND tangible.
****
I love the idea, and I love the feelings the story evokes, but based strictly on that centerpiece, 4.
by Anonymous user on 02/28/2024
He loves her, she loves him, neither communicate well. Some years later (decades maybe?) they meet again for a second.
Too little to really get vested in. Nice outline for a romance.
by chytown on 02/01/2024
*****Good read. Thanks for sharing. Would have been very deep in a (Poem Format) I guess it was the mentioning of the moonlight.
by inka2222 on 02/03/2024
Ugh. I'm so torn. On one hand, I like 750s because they are concise and cut out fluff. On the other hand THIS one omits the very very needed context. Specifically.... One one hand, I strongly dislike suicide as a choice. On the other hand, I'm happy about it when it's a cheating spouse offing themselves (which honestly the MC here kind of seemed to MAYBE be?). So.... just not enough context to know if I like this or now. I think I'll read the author's other works before deciding.
by Buster2U on 02/03/2024
10 Big Blazing Stars for this Excellent Story. My opinion is just the opposite of Inka just before me. I believe suicide is a very valid statement and I know for a fact that it devastates the cheating spouse left behind by the crushed one that "Ends It". I suspect suicide is usually from a broken heart and loneliness, so what more fitting way for a happy ending than two potential suicide "Jumpers" to meet and find each other to find happiness? Excellent plot, Excellent Effort! Thank You Buster2U
by WantingToWriteGood on 02/08/2024
WOW! Excellent story. Well written. Vivid yet concise. I realize it is part of the 750 Word Challenge but a follow up on their backgrounds, triumphs, and tribulations in a full blown story would make a fascinating read (in my opinion).
by MsVanilla69 on 02/08/2024
Very nice story about 2 people being at the same place same time each with there own troubles yet with an act of kindness on a dark night saving each other ,,, great story
by Anonymous user on 02/09/2024
This deserves a follow up 10/10
by LitCrit on 02/26/2024
I just finished reading all four of your stories here. You write beautiful little vignettes, short glimpses into a small slice of a relationship that pose more questions than they answer and leave an aching need to learn more. Please expand these insights into fully fleshed stories and you'll get the 5 Star ratings that they deserve.
by Comentarista82 on 02/27/2024
You make me think on this one too.
***
However you chose them, Westley and Luna largely fit your characters: Westley is shrewd and clearly calculating; Luna generously gives more than perhaps she should, and prefers a little more fantasy over reality; these qualities fit their names. Additionally, "Luna" is actually a very powerful name, as it means "moon" in Spanish and therefore presents her as the Mother Goddess under Marianism--and this is what makes how you end the story so fitting--because Westley should end up worshipping her, which he effectively does; he's also largely the dominant male lead and her the submissive. Furthermore, you detail the dom/sub relationship well, highlighting the praise afterward and calm dialogue to reinforce future obedience.
***
Cautions for future reference: when you say this is going to be a scene that follows rules without deviation, where one won't fall for the other, you can't put it's "emply" sex if one will fall for the other--as thinkers like me will latch onto that and mention it like I am now--because it screams an unneeded contradiction in how you craft the story so Westley indeed "graduates" to loving her, as his praise words soften in progression. Morever, be careful using a Hispanic name, as someone like myself will point out she should manifest some Hispanic qualities and especially some token Spanish phrases, as very intimate moments will bring out her deepest, subconscious desires and express themselves in her first language. A name is never merely "arbitrary," just like how Maverick named Star, Seven and Sekani in "The Hate You Give...": names drive people in part, and have very special and unique meanings, endowing their owners with unique characteristics and gifts.
I'll split the difference with you on this one: it had far less of a possible "hang-up," and mostly nails the required elements one should expect in this kind of genre. 5
I almost created a membership so I can favorite you.Almost.

I just got a comment from my old friend Anonymous. I won’t repeat the whole thing, but was struck by how it ended.
Aww! I feel so special!
Malesubdk26 days ago
What a beautiful and sad story. I cried a little when I figured out what would happen and didn't want to read the ending. Thank you very much
Barkinbeast201026 days ago
There’s many reactions, for me, reading Lit… turned on, annoyed, disappointed but 23 pages and I’m leaking tears. Not cool on a 57 yr old bloke - great story, characters snd true Lou heartbreaking. I’ve fought that darkness for years so I can relate but I hold on for those few who love me. Thanks for a great story
Peapod4130 days ago
Fuck! What a msgnificent opus. This has taken the genre to another level. Thank you.
It took me a very long time to get the second half out, but seems like people are loving My Sister's a Werewolf! all the same.AAAAHHHHH FINALLYY
AND I WAS MENTIONED WWWOOO
"I started to read it and almost couldn't stop... Keep up the good work.
I came for the porn and stayed for the story. That should say something.
The first comment on my first story
~~~~~~~~
An accomplished debut, look forward to more
I’m ecstatic that my ratings are all above 4.0, and I even have an H ! <giggles uncontrollably >Off to a good start!