colonscopies

[graceanne]

"Things said during a Colonoscopy"

"Things said during a Colonoscopy"

A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all..........

13. "Hey Doc, could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact, not up there?

 

[Netzach]

I love this.

Now what did they say while drinking the prep, I wonder?

 

[Marquis]

Haven't they developed the colonoscopy pill yet?

 

[Aeroil]

No, just the sopository, made out of rubber glove.

 

[Marquis]

No, just the sopository, made out of rubber glove.

What's a "sopository", mr. fragment?

 

[Aeroil]

What's a "sopository", mr. fragment?

Wow did I ever spell that wrong lol
suppository

 

[naughtygirl69s]

Haven't they developed the colonoscopy pill yet?

They do have a camera you can swallow that records everythign has it goes through your system, but apparently it doesn't give the same information a scope does.

Thank god I have at least 20 years before I need one of these, hopefully by then they will invent something better!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Weird, just read an article about this.

 

[shy slave]

"Things said during a Colonoscopy"

A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all..........

13. "Hey Doc, could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact, not up there?

These are the best

 

[grace9]

Good Ones!

ROTFLMAO!....That was too funny graceanne!....Because of a chronic illness I have to get colonoscopies once a year and when my next one comes up in a few months your list will definitley run through my mind!

At my last one I had to wait a bit for my doctor to perform the procedure because he had an emergency patient. I was a little tipsy from my "cocktail" the nurse had given me beforehand and when he came into the room he said "I apologize for being late"....and I responded "I guess runnin' a little behind happens a lot in your work."

He didn't laugh....but the nurses and I sure did!

Thanks again for the funnies!

Gracie~

 

[DevilsAngel369]

"Things said during a Colonoscopy"

A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all..........

13. "Hey Doc, could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact, not up there?

Hilarious!

 

[graceanne]

They do have a camera you can swallow that records everythign has it goes through your system, but apparently it doesn't give the same information a scope does.

Thank god I have at least 20 years before I need one of these, hopefully by then they will invent something better!

And just how old do you think I am? I'm only 27, and I've had 5 colonoscopys and all I can say is that the prep is the worst part of it. If you can make it through that, the rest is a breeze!

 

[naughtygirl69s]

And just how old do you think I am? I'm only 27, and I've had 5 colonoscopys and all I can say is that the prep is the worst part of it. If you can make it through that, the rest is a breeze!

Sorry that wasn't an age poke at anyone, I honestly didn't have a clue how old you are. I realize people younger than late 40's/50's, need and get scopes, I just meant that barring any unforseen conditions, I'm having one until my 50's.

 

[Marquis]

Sorry that wasn't an age poke at anyone, I honestly didn't have a clue how old you are. I realize people younger than late 40's/50's, need and get scopes, I just meant that barring any unforseen conditions, I'm having one until my 50's.

Don't worry about it, Grace is just a little sore in that spot.

 

[Netzach]

Young scoped and fucked up

It's a big club, that one. Representin' here. Sorta, I can't GET scoped yet safely, but hopefully by the end of the summer I'll be in on the fun.

My GI has the tightest sphincter ever. I so want to spank that man someday, hell I'd pay to get him spanked by some other Domme. He needs it soooooooo bad!

 

[arctic-stranger]

"NO! I said a BUD llight not a ......"

 

[graceanne]

Sorry that wasn't an age poke at anyone, I honestly didn't have a clue how old you are. I realize people younger than late 40's/50's, need and get scopes, I just meant that barring any unforseen conditions, I'm having one until my 50's.

Oh, it's ok. I wasn't actually upset. I probably should have put a smilie there or something. I was just making a point.

 

[shy slave]

Reading your sig line Gracie,

Never more true said than when put in context with your list of things said about a colonoscopys!

 

[Kajira Callista]

Dontcha love the wonderful flavors go-lytely comes in?

 

[Netzach]

I just need to reiterate how badly my GI needs to be spanked this morning. It would do him a world of good.





(he's kind of cute, the SOB)

 

[graceanne]

I just need to reiterate how badly my GI needs to be spanked this morning. It would do him a world of good.





(he's kind of cute, the SOB)

I think that doctors the world around could stand to see the business end of a strap on. The assholes.

 

[Vixandra]

I think that doctors the world around could stand to see the business end of a strap on. The assholes.

I'd like to second the motion.
Especially on some general surgeons... *disolves into a rant for a moment*

 

[Aeroil]

I think that doctors the world around could stand to see the business end of a strap on. The assholes.

*ponders becoming a doctor instead of a techie*

 

[namron711]

======>>(!)

"Things said during a Colonoscopy"

A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all..........

13. "Hey Doc, could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact, not up there?

ROTFLMAO

 

[graceanne]

Dontcha love the wonderful flavors go-lytely comes in?

Oh, yeah. Just makes me all orgasmic to think about it.

Seriously, they always mix it with chrystal light. Now it doesn't matter what's in the chrystal light, just the smell makes me wanna puke. Frankly, the last time I had a colonoscopy they had to put a tube up my nose, cause I kept puking it up.