Cliche

This is how I wrote that cliche:

"She walks down the centre aisle of the dining room, dragging eyes behind her, and I can almost see the smoke in the air as she passes those that look, a slow combustion of the air they breathe."

Bowing three times to the Master... That's pretty amazing, actually.
 
Not sure it falls under cliche, but when describing sex scenes there really isn't much of a suitable replacement for moan, groan, gasp whimper, without getting stupid, so I tend to use them a lot but take solace in the fact it seems a lot of people do as well.

Can someone please tell me how to type that noise I make the first time a guy enters me? It starts as a kinda a groan and then ends in a moan, like the little bit of pressure at the start, and then that really great feeling as he gets in and my body adjusts.

I hear it in porn all the time.....

is it "ahhhh ohhh"?

Ohh isn't really right.....
 
Can someone please tell me how to type that noise I make the first time a guy enters me? It starts as a kinda a groan and then ends in a moan, like the little bit of pressure at the start, and then that really great feeling as he gets in and my body adjusts.

I hear it in porn all the time.....

is it "ahhhh ohhh"?

Ohh isn't really right.....

Something like "Mmmnnghaahh..." maybe?
 
This is how I wrote that cliche:

"She walks down the centre aisle of the dining room, dragging eyes behind her, and I can almost see the smoke in the air as she passes those that look, a slow combustion of the air they breathe."

What is she? A grilled peacock??? Jeez... dragging eyes! Pffft! I'd tell the others not to encourage you, but I know how you enjoy all that bowing and scraping...:rolleyes::devil:
 
maybe the descriptions aren't cliches. maybe you're just reading way too much porn.

LOL... that could be but I'm seeing the same familiar lines in too many stories...its for sure some are borrowing from others.
 
Not sure it falls under cliche, but when describing sex scenes there really isn't much of a suitable replacement for moan, groan, gasp whimper, without getting stupid, so I tend to use them a lot but take solace in the fact it seems a lot of people do as well.

No, that's not what I'm describing, lines like " thick as a red bull can, the men, as well as some of the women, eyed her with lust. May not be verbatim but close...I've seen those lines in half a dozen stories.
 
What is she? A grilled peacock??? Jeez... dragging eyes! Pffft! I'd tell the others not to encourage you, but I know how you enjoy all that bowing and scraping...:rolleyes::devil:

I borrow someone else's glare, and direct it at you...

(And thinks to self, that Texan hurricane thing didn't quite get inland far enough... damn weather forecasters).
 
I borrow someone else's glare, and direct it at you...

(And thinks to self, that Texan hurricane thing didn't quite get inland far enough... damn weather forecasters).

The glare doesn't work for 'someone else' either. ;) Smoke and mirrors, Eebs. Don't the meteorologists in Oz know how to forecast a Texas blowjob? Besides, that's old news... you'll have to catch me next season... if you can. :cattail:
 
If there is one thing that makes me stop reading straight away it’s any story that opens with the phrase “first, a little about myself...” and then gives a list of measurements...

Couldn't agree more. The moment I read that, I start looking for the 'back' button.
 
I struggle to describe sex without repeating descriptions. Someone who reads several different stories might feel like they're seeing the same scene again. I hope not, and no-one has ever made that comment.

I've had that comment once, it made me sit up and take notice, but then I've been around for a few years so I'm surprised all my crazy words don't sound a little redundant. I guess the flip side of that is that people like the familiar.
 
Here's another one I've seen a lot of lately: "prelude....drum role....dum de dum... after some sexy beginning...and then; "I was harder than I've ever been in that moment..."

Okay, it's not a bad line for porn. But, it's been borrowed, stolen and shared around to the point it has, apparently, become a 'cliche'. And being of a scientific proclivity, the statement makes me wonder if the appropriate measurements and records have been kept in order to support said cliche...I mean, how would one even know this is the hardest it's ever been? Plus, I read from some reliable source, that even porn fiction must have some tether to reality :confused:

I wonder if something like this more random jumble of words would be just as descriptive; "drum role again....as the last small scrap of expensive lingerie hit the floor, and her eyes refused to release my own, the tension we shared was as taut and tight as the swelling in my loins.

But maybe the use of lingerie and swelling loins are also cliches? Maybe we've run our course mates...the gig is up...the words all spent...time to learn photo-shop and digital video splicing ???
 
"That was the hardest I've ever cum in my life!"
She rode him like Annie fucking Oakley...
He pistoned into her with machine-like precision.
"Oh baby! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh yeah!"
He moaned, "I'm gonna cum," but she only sucked harder.
"Whoo-ee, that gal can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!"
 
"That was the hardest I've ever cum in my life!"
She rode him like Annie fucking Oakley...
He pistoned into her with machine-like precision.
"Oh baby! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh yeah!"
He moaned, "I'm gonna cum," but she only sucked harder.
"Whoo-ee, that gal can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!"

Hmmm, maybe we've all got it wrong. A few more lines of cliches and that'll be ready to submit! I see the secret now, don't minimize cliches, embrace them and let them make you rich $$$$ Thanks for the lesson that shows what we all failed to see-:D
 
Off topic sort of
My Dutch friend told me the other day that she doesn't understand why I always write cumming and not coming. Apparently cumming is American slang.
I never knew.
 
This is how I wrote that cliche:

"She walks down the centre aisle of the dining room, dragging eyes behind her, and I can almost see the smoke in the air as she passes those that look, a slow combustion of the air they breathe."

Can we start a thread where we purposely write the cheesiest, most cliche erotic story and use this as the opener? How low can we go? I bet we could surprise ourselves.
 
Can we start a thread where we purposely write the cheesiest, most cliche erotic story and use this as the opener? How low can we go? I bet we could surprise ourselves.
How about a LIT version of the Bulwer-Lytton Contest to write the worst opening sentence of the worst story?

"I dunno what I've got but it's twelve inches long and it itches and drips," he murmured huskily as lightning struck a nearby ritual obelisk, which exploded.
 
Can we start a thread where we purposely write the cheesiest, most cliche erotic story and use this as the opener? How low can we go? I bet we could surprise ourselves.

From kowtow to cheese shop in seventeen posts, that's mighty impressive.

The second line, Madame, if you please.
 
"I dunno what I've got but it's twelve inches long and it itches and drips," he murmured huskily...

"It's a young ferret with the mange," the old vet said, shaking his head sadly. "I thought the courts had banned you from owning pets?"

OK, not seriously, but I couldn't pass the chance... ;)
 
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I think this has gotten off the original subject. I don't think commonly used words that are necessary to describe a sex scene are cliche. The lines that I'm referring to were effective when originally used but repetitive and boring when you read them in half a dozen stories. Lines like, "his cock was as thick as a can of Red Bull and "all the men and even a few of the women lusted after her" etc. etc. I could quote half a dozen more. Worn out cliches and a list of body measurements does little to enhance the quality of a story... iMHO.
 
Write stories that don't use those cliche and if they are successful, people will see that you don't need to use those cliches. Authors use "36C" because they've seen it used in successful stories.
 
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