Clever insults

[Whisky7up]

A hated manager was leaving where I worked and I asked my wife if she could think of something insulting I could write on the 'leaving' card that would not sound immediately obvious to her.
The suggestion:
I hope you enjoy your new pasture.
Any other ideas?

 

[tolyk]

"It was an honour and privledge working with you, may your new co-workers think as highly of you as I did."

(Or just the second part )

 

[LadyCibelle]

I wish you sex as good as you've given me while we were married

 

[domjoe]

Wit, in my experience, is lost on petty managers. I used "Fuck off and good riddance, you slimy arselicker. Only kidding." Totally impossible for him to respond to.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

"Keep up your tradition of acephalous leadership!"

The exclamation shows your sincerity.

 

[TheEarl]

"Keep up your tradition of acephalous leadership!"

The exclamation shows your sincerity.

That's a Dilbert quote isn't it?

The Earl

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

That's a Dilbert quote isn't it?

The Earl

It's from one of the books.

 

[TheEarl]

Dilbert - The Patron Saint of Computer Scientists and Engineers.

The Earl

 

[C's Button]

"Congratulations! I hope you get everything you deserve in your new life."

 

[beingbrave]

"May you live in interesting times" is always a good one. Unfortunately we do live in interesting times at the moment.

 

[woodnymph_O]

this one from a friend

left on note paper in a local resturant
"I don't tip cows , the sad look, when they fall over, gets to me."
the friend was a waitress, but thankfully it wasn't left for her
nymphy

 

[BlackShanglan]

When working with a ridiculously petty tyrant (assistant manager of a dime-rate steakhouse), I taped a sign reading "Welcome to Corsica" over the office door when he was in it. It was almost worth having to explain the joke 25 times.

At the same venue, I once also posted, following a series of moronic directives on such valuable topics as proper napkin-folding, an "official"-looking notice explaining that employees were now required to breath only in designated breathing areas, and that failure to comply with the directive could result in termination. Beautifully, the joke was brought home to the manager by a fellow employee, asking in baffled but earnest concern how to follow this new rule.

Shanglan

 

[Colleen Thomas]

The place just won't be the same without you