Cleaning Up? Really?

[gordo12]

Yes, but we don't have that restriction here on Lit, so why stick to it?

I have written two out of three 100k books in a sci-fi trilogy and I felt quite stifled by the feeling that I had to tone down the amount and explicitness of the sex in order to have a chance at publication. Before starting the third book, I came here to "get the sex out of my system." That doesn't seem to have worked, I've just found I really enjoy writing sex.

LOL, I feel your pain. Adding sex puts books into a wasteland. Still, my experience here, and I love writing sex scenes, is that my stories without sex are my highest rated. Maybe that's a reflection on what I do write, but I don't think so. It's also a data pool of only 1 writer. Not statistically valid.

 

[jsmiam]

The total lack of detail in romance novels is always what turned me off of them. What was the point of talking about sex at all if it's going to just be a passing mention of some things slipping around with barely a hint of what's really going where? If that's all you're going to say, then just stick with the emotional connection and leave the physical out of it, I think. Nothing wrong with that.

But if I'm writing sex, I enjoy describing all the ooey gooey details of sex and I enjoy reading these details too. Oozing, dripping, cum - I will describe it if it's there, and what they do about it. There is often licking, smearing, wiping, etc.

I'm with you all the way. In my own post, I suppose I drifted slightly (not too far) off topic into other similar "here's what really happens" issues. I'm not even saying we have dwell on them to the point of making it a sub-plot (or into a lecture). Just mention, that just like clothes don't magically disappear in a too-rushed sex scene, neither does cum. Or condoms. Or wet spots.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Unfortunately, the details take a book straight to the "18+ and good luck marketing your book" bin. There's a solid reason that gets left out.

On the other hand, I've noticed a lot of authors giving the 18+ rule the finger lately. Nobody really knows unless someone complains.

I'm not writing a romance novel. We're here to write erotica, so the 18+ rating should be applied to my stories.

When I write realism as: "I finished cumming in her. As I pulled my cock out, I watched the cum drip down her ass and from the end of my cock to leave a messy wet spot on the sheets. Obviously, we should now change the sheets before going to sleep, or we'll argue over who has to sleep on the wet spot."

... OR ...

Do I write: "I finished cumming in her, and reached for the tissues to catch the cum. We slept comfortably after that."

 

[gordo12]

I'm not writing a romance novel. We're here to write erotica, so the 18+ rating should be applied to my stories.

When I write realism as: "I finished cumming in her. As I pulled my cock out, I watched the cum drip down her ass and from the end of my cock to leave a messy wet spot on the sheets. Obviously, we should now change the sheets before going to sleep, or we'll argue over who has to sleep on the wet spot."

... OR ...

Do I write: "I finished cumming in her, and reached for the tissues to catch the cum. We slept comfortably after that."

We're commiserating over treatment of 18+ books outside Lit. Of course, the 18+ rule applies here.

 

[Lifestyle66]

We're commiserating over treatment of 18+ books outside Lit. Of course, the 18+ rule applies here.

The thread question was about "What is too much detail?" Is it appropriate to write such details? Or would it be better to just ignore the destination of that cum flow, and both easily fall asleep?

Some say it detracts from the erotic flow. Some think the descriptions can be minimized or even made erotic. Others think the details add credibility and make a story believable.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

LOL, I feel your pain. Adding sex puts books into a wasteland. Still, my experience here, and I love writing sex scenes, is that my stories without sex are my highest rated. Maybe that's a reflection on what I do write, but I don't think so. It's also a data pool of only 1 writer. Not statistically valid.

Interesting. Maybe it's because your sex stories are in Loving Wives and the others aren't? I'm guessing by looking at your stories, so I could be totally wrong.

I'm with you all the way. In my own post, I suppose I drifted slightly (not too far) off topic into other similar "here's what really happens" issues. I'm not even saying we have dwell on them to the point of making it a sub-plot (or into a lecture). Just mention, that just like clothes don't magically disappear in a too-rushed sex scene, neither does cum. Or condoms. Or wet spots.

Agree! And, like describing a fight scene, I like to know whose limbs are where and keep track of the action.

The thread question was about "What is too much detail?" Is it appropriate to write such details? Or would it be better to just ignore the destination of that cum flow, and both easily fall asleep?

Some say it detracts from the erotic flow. Some think the descriptions can be minimized or even made erotic. Others think the details add credibility and make a story believable.

I'm not sure it's possible to have too much detail. In the example you shared, I prefer the first, but I'd want to spice it up:

"Thrusting deep, thighs straining, I finished cumming inside her, my cock twitching in orgasmic spurts. As I pulled out, I watched the cum drip down her ass, strings of the white mucus-like fluid stringing from her to the end of my cock, snapping our connection as I pulled away. Two streams of fluid dripped between us, mixing on the bed sheets, a messy wet reminder of how close we'd just been. Somehow, I marveled, our combined cum which had been so arousing mere moments before, was now disgusting when applied to the sheets instead of being used as lubrication. I sighed, rolling away form the damp circle, we should obviously change the sheets now, or we'll argue over who has to sleep on the wet spot later. My last chivalrous thought as I drifted to sleep was that I'd take one for the team. Thus, I was completely taken off guard in the morning, when she groused at me for taking the dry side."

Yeah, so obviously we can't go into that much detail about everything, but I do like it a lot when I / others do.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I'd want to spice it up:

"Thrusting deep, thighs straining, I finished cumming inside her, my cock twitching in orgasmic spurts. As I pulled out, I watched the cum drip down her ass, strings of the white mucus-like fluid stringing from her to the end of my cock, snapping our connection as I pulled away. Two streams of fluid dripped between us, mixing on the bed sheets, a messy wet reminder of how close we'd just been. Somehow, I marveled, our combined cum which had been so arousing mere moments before, was now disgusting when applied to the sheets instead of being used as lubrication. I sighed, rolling away form the damp circle, we should obviously change the sheets now, or we'll argue over who has to sleep on the wet spot later. My last chivalrous thought as I drifted to sleep was that I'd take one for the team. Thus, I was completely taken off guard in the morning, when she groused at me for taking the dry side."

Yeah, so obviously we can't go into that much detail about everything, but I do like it a lot when I / others do.

That is GREAT! I'll need to show that to the wife to see which she prefers: My "handing a box of tissues" or your "she groused at me for taking the dry side."


She just read it and said: "Strings of mucus?...NO!" Apparently, she's more romantic, and just wants the stuff to disappear.

 

[gordo12]

Interesting. Maybe it's because your sex stories are in Loving Wives and the others aren't? I'm guessing by looking at your stories, so I could be totally wrong.

Surprisingly, some of the stories ARE in LW. I started out writing tons of details but a few later stories didn't fit the mould and did very well without sex or little detail.

Caveat: When you look at the scores in LW, during the time those stories were written, the category penalty for a story in LW was approx .25 to .50. Now it's probably close to 1.5-2.0 thanks to the trolls. When you look at the scores there make that (at least) .25 adjustment in your mind.

 

[jsmiam]

Also, I don't think anyone's said it yet... There's "cleaning up," the polite/considerate and mostly real life act of towels and/or washcloths, tissue, doing laundry, that sort of thing.

As a reminder, "cleaning up" is also a dirty term, for people doing it to and for one another via the tongue & mouth. (I know y'all know that, it's just funny we reached page 2 before someone mentioning it.)