Classic joke with a new twist

[Svenskaflicka]

Dennis Rodman's Tattoo Scandal

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok". She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it.
Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock.
"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"
He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".

 

[snooper]

Welsh version

In Wales men often have LUDO tattooed on their person.
(Ludo is English for bingo or lotto)

Later this becomes a signpost to the well known North Wales seaside resort of LLANDUDNO.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I doubt it's true, though. I've seen Dennis Rodman's Little Rodman, and I couldn't see anything written on it. I only saw it from a distance, though...

 

[Guest]

erm

im not sure but was the original joke about having 'your name' tattoo'd along a penis?
(trying to catch up mentally.. please dont let me flounder)

 

[Guest]

 

[dirtylover]

Re: Welsh version

In Wales men often have LUDO tattooed on their person.
(Ludo is English for bingo or lotto)

Later this becomes a signpost to the well known North Wales seaside resort of LLANDUDNO.

Couple of points:

1. I always thought Ludo was a completely different game, where you have to get your pieces to the middle.

2. We have LlanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllLlantysiliogogogoch tattooed up in the North of Wales actually. Llandudno's just the trendiest place for old ladies and Liverpool scallies to come and hang out, play some Ludo/Bingo whatever.

An additional point. Goch means red, cos that's the colour your willy goes when it gets that big

 

[cloudy]

don't read if you're easily offended!

The Age Old Question - Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, - and internet explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?

AL GORE I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE And God came down from Heaven, and he said unto the chicken, "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

 

[Black Tulip]

Oh my god, that really made my day. Thank you Cloudy.

ROFLMAO

 

[cloudy]

Oh my god, that really made my day. Thank you Cloudy.

ROFLMAO

You're welcome.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Forgotten entry -

CHARLES TRUXILLO: The chicken did not cross the road, the road briefly detoured around the other side of the chicken.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

SADDAM HUSSEIN: The chicken performed an unprovoked rebellian attack, and we were in our rights to drop 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.

FOX MULDER: You saw with your own eyes how that chicken crossed the road! How many more chickens have to cross the road before you will start to believe it?


LOUIS FARRAKHAN: You will understand that the road represents the black man. The chicken crossed "the black man" to step on him and keep him down.

 

[MathGirl]

What's a chicken?
MG

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

What's a chicken? MG

http://www.sitevip.net/gifs/chicken/1984_animado.gif


Got the picture?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Am I shocked or hungry..?

 

[minsue]

http://www.sitevip.net/gifs/chicken/1984_animado.gif


Got the picture?

 

[Morduin]

Yall are too funny