Cigarette Play

[Let_it_come]

When being used as an ashtray, I would be interested to know if it is considered by the medical professions to increas the chance of mouth, lip or throat cancer.

Any type of play that increases the chance of disease is a hard limit for me

Sensible.
There is always a gap between Kink & reality isn't there?

 

[shy slave]

Sensible.
There is always a gap between Kink & reality isn't there?

I see it more as a gap between fantasy and reality.

Lots of my kinks are a reality.

I am a bit dull in that I tend not to fantasise about things I don't want to be a reality at some point.

Kink has very little to do with it

 

[Let_it_come]

I see it more as a gap between fantasy and reality.

Lots of my kinks are a reality.

I am a bit dull in that I tend not to fantasise about things I don't want to be a reality at some point.

Kink has very little to do with it

Livin' the dream!
I'm probably using the word 'kink' in the wrong way...
Yeah, you're right - the gap is fantasy & reality.
And, for me, the gap is controlled by law and what I think I can get away with.
Good for you if you can do all you dream about - I can't think of a better situation to be in.
ENJOY it!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sensible.
There is always a gap between Kink & reality isn't there?

Mostly in the minds of those who play games as opposed to living it...many of the things you have expressed as wanting to try but said you didn't really mean in reality, are things people who are seriously into their kink actually do and enjoy at least on some level.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

When being used as an ashtray, I would be interested to know if it is considered by the medical professions to increas the chance of mouth, lip or throat cancer.

Any type of play that increases the chance of disease is a hard limit for me

One would have to think ti would be, especially when you take into consideration smoking after or during a meal increases your risk significantly as the throat is more open and so provides a more unobstructed path for all the toxins.

Catalina

 

[Let_it_come]

Mostly in the minds of those who play games as opposed to living it...many of the things you have expressed as wanting to try but said you didn't really mean in reality, are things people who are seriously into their kink actually do and enjoy at least on some level.

Catalina

Are we having a language problem again?
If so it's doubtless all down to me.
I do what I do, but I dream of more.
If, in reality, I could do all I want to then I would do it.
And as you've said before - I wouldn't last 5 minutes!

I find Evil Geoff really interesting...
But with him I wouldn't even last 1 minute.

I'm happy to share my reality with you all, but also I want to indulge in all those 'add-ons' that bring so much to fucking - Fantasy, roleplay, all those 'in -the-head' things which physically I couldn't really do, but which added to what I actually do do physically bring so much more to cumming.
I wonder if I'm clear?

 

[Pure]

sounds clear to me--fantasy onward!

 

[Let_it_come]

sounds clear to me--fantasy onward!

Yea!
Seriously, I'm not out to piss off Mods. C.F. is totally cool in my book.
Fucking is fucking & I love all the kink I can get & give, but beyond reality (with which I'm very happy) is so much more.
If I'm not clear I'm really happy to thrash this out but it's really very simple -
Sex is improved so much by what is in the head added to what the bodies concerned are doing.
I love all the pain-loving kink I can take & can dish out. Beyond what is possible for me & my boy I have an endless realm of dirty thoughts.
It's all good.
LOVE to C.F.
Peace.

 

[lne_iii]

[minorhijack]

Mmmm.... Djarum specials....

[/minorhijack]

Djarum Blacks are the -best-
but...coughcough...
I need to quit.


LNE

 

[jadefirefly]

Djarum Blacks are the -best-
but...coughcough...
I need to quit.


LNE

Tell me about it.

I had to cut back to "buy a pack on the weekends only when I have social bar-hopping kind of occasions to go to" smoking. I pretty much get a pack every three or four weeks now.

 

[jadefirefly]

Mostly in the minds of those who play games as opposed to living it...many of the things you have expressed as wanting to try but said you didn't really mean in reality, are things people who are seriously into their kink actually do and enjoy at least on some level.

Catalina

I think that there are people who are seriously into their kink, that fantasize of more.

"Seriously into" doesn't just mean "I'll do anything", it just means you're really into whatever -your- kink is.

When phrased as it was, Catalina, it almost sounds as if you are saying "those of us who *really* practice this stuff are better because we don't have limits like you wussy people." I know that isn't what you mean - it just sounds that way, and may be misleading to folks like, well, Jen, who seems to be confused by what you meant too.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think that there are people who are seriously into their kink, that fantasize of more.

"Seriously into" doesn't just mean "I'll do anything", it just means you're really into whatever -your- kink is.

When phrased as it was, Catalina, it almost sounds as if you are saying "those of us who *really* practice this stuff are better because we don't have limits like you wussy people." I know that isn't what you mean - it just sounds that way, and may be misleading to folks like, well, Jen, who seems to be confused by what you meant too.

I do fantasise, but like shy I tend to spend more time fantasising about possibly real situations, and yes, I do work toward them being real more so than filling my head with almost 100% non doable stuff but coming across as if I would do them. There are some things I fantasise about which would never be a reality, but I am usually fairly clear about that if I ever do post it here or elsewhere, but that rarely happens. Jen does say she is a bored housewife who comes here to fill in time with what she terms as silly stuff, and that she thought many of the things some of us do, and which she fantasises about, were not actually done.

I like to know the differentiation between fantasy and reality on a forum such as this because unfortunately, many newer players will not realise that some posters are posting fantasy, not actual real experiences and as a result can possibly be seriously injured or put in a precarious position because they thought based on another's 'experience' it was a safe thing to try. Guess I am pretty much a realist and if my concerns about being responsible about what we present as 'factual' on this forum is seen as appearing to be a 'better than' attitude I'm sorry but am not going to waste anymore time once again trying to justify my lifestyle and reasoning and suggest perhaps those who feel that way could look at why they view it that way, not whether I am saying something I am not. I have found, no matter how I (or many others here) word particular posts, someone is going to attach their own interpretation to it while others seenothing wrong with it and read it as it was intended...I have learned not to take on the responsibility for their interpretation at the cost of my own authenticity. As someone said in an interview last week, 'Age and life experience develops a great BS filter'.

Catalina

 

[Let_it_come]

I think that there are people who are seriously into their kink, that fantasize of more.

"Seriously into" doesn't just mean "I'll do anything", it just means you're really into whatever -your- kink is.

When phrased as it was, Catalina, it almost sounds as if you are saying "those of us who *really* practice this stuff are better because we don't have limits like you wussy people." I know that isn't what you mean - it just sounds that way, and may be misleading to folks like, well, Jen, who seems to be confused by what you meant too.

Yup! That was my problem I misinterpreted darling Cat. & thought she was a sex-snob. It's a language thing... ENTIRELY my bad.
I do all I can with my cunt, but I dream of so much more. I dream of a load of stuff that just isn't physically possible or that would obviously result in death (never a good idea). I can dream of a girl being pulled apart by the cunt for a crowd of cheering perverts, but in reality the most I can do is enjoy a good stretch with my b/f & fantasise.
J.

 

[Let_it_come]

I do fantasise, but like shy I tend to spend more time fantasising about possibly real situations, and yes, I do work toward them being real more so than filling my head with almost 100% non doable stuff but coming across as if I would do them. There are some things I fantasise about which would never be a reality, but I am usually fairly clear about that if I ever do post it here or elsewhere, but that rarely happens. Jen does say she is a bored housewife who comes here to fill in time with what she terms as silly stuff, and that she thought many of the things some of us do, and which she fantasises about, were not actually done.

I like to know the differentiation between fantasy and reality on a forum such as this because unfortunately, many newer players will not realise that some posters are posting fantasy, not actual real experiences and as a result can possibly be seriously injured or put in a precarious position because they thought based on another's 'experience' it was a safe thing to try. Guess I am pretty much a realist and if my concerns about being responsible about what we present as 'factual' on this forum is seen as appearing to be a 'better than' attitude I'm sorry but am not going to waste anymore time once again trying to justify my lifestyle and reasoning and suggest perhaps those who feel that way could look at why they view it that way, not whether I am saying something I am not. I have found, no matter how I (or many others here) word particular posts, someone is going to attach their own interpretation to it while others seenothing wrong with it and read it as it was intended...I have learned not to take on the responsibility for their interpretation at the cost of my own authenticity. As someone said in an interview last week, 'Age and life experience develops a great BS filter'.

Catalina

C'mon Cat. let's just end this -
I do all the usual shit - clothes pegs, ice, fists. You've had a cigar on the tits & I haven't, but I fancy some cigarette play...
No big deal here -
I do all I physically can to live my fantasies I promise you. Who wouldn't?
But many of my fantasies go beyond what I can do. Surely that's common?
I'm not here to show off or pontificate (neither are you), but I am interested in my own kind - those who's bodies and the laws of the land hold them back from soaring into the realm of their own little kinks.
"Silly Stuff"? Not to me. But I'm happy to tweak for context. I'll call it whatever to get it across & to get those rare & precious PMs from those who won't say in public what they will say in a PM.
Most of my shit is given a hard time in public, but on the PM service I get so much more support. That's the deal here, isn't it?
I like you & respect you (no BS) - I'm happy to fuck-off off your Mod. patch if I bug you - what do I care? I'll just carry on elsewhere.
I'm nothing to you. You carry on with what you do so well.
I'd like to contribute here & I'm happy to do it in a way that would fit.
PM me or I'll PM you & we'll all be friends. The fact that we have these little run-ins probably shows that we are similar in some way.
"Two of a kind never agree" etc.
Love to you & peace.
If I have to go down on you to settle this I will!
Jenny

 

[catalina_francisco]

C'mon Cat. let's just end this -
I do all the usual shit - clothes pegs, ice, fists. You've had a cigar on the tits & I haven't, but I fancy some cigarette play...
No big deal here -
I do all I physically can to live my fantasies I promise you. Who wouldn't?
But many of my fantasies go beyond what I can do. Surely that's common?
I'm not here to show off or pontificate (neither are you), but I am interested in my own kind - those who's bodies and the laws of the land hold them back from soaring into the realm of their own little kinks.
"Silly Stuff"? Not to me. But I'm happy to tweak for context. I'll call it whatever to get it across & to get those rare & precious PMs from those who won't say in public what they will say in a PM.
Most of my shit is given a hard time in public, but on the PM service I get so much more support. That's the deal here, isn't it?
I like you & respect you (no BS) - I'm happy to fuck-off off your Mod. patch if I bug you - what do I care? I'll just carry on elsewhere.
I'm nothing to you. You carry on with what you do so well.
I'd like to contribute here & I'm happy to do it in a way that would fit.
PM me or I'll PM you & we'll all be friends. The fact that we have these little run-ins probably shows that we are similar in some way.
"Two of a kind never agree" etc.
Love to you & peace.
If I have to go down on you to settle this I will!
Jenny

"silly comments" were initially your words not mine.

Deleted the rest because it just is a waste of time, space, and energy


Catalina

 

[Let_it_come]

"silly comments" were initially your words not mine.

Deleted the rest because it just is a waste of time, space, and energy


Catalina

Not making progress am I?
I'll PM.
I'm really not trolling here.

 

[Let_it_come]

PM just sent.
I just want to play in your playground without pissing you & others off.
Your forum, your rules.
I promise you I'm cool with all of that.
I think you Mod. very well & I totally get the point about your responsiblity to make sure that others do not harm themselves by reading stuff & copying it.

I've said it before & I'll say it again - I'm not trolling here.

Jenny

 

[dexfantasy]

.....................

 

[Let_it_come]

I’m not well grounded in reality when it comes to my fantasies and have no interest in being so… what would be the fun in that? Reality is only a prison for the narrow minded. Although, I agree with Cat that if it’s ever not blatantly clear that what you are posting is purely fantasy, you should add some sort of a disclaimer to your post to make it so.

Dex

I can only agree. Call it a learning-curve hiccup. You can bet that anything from me from now on will be plastered with disclaimers, age limits & whatever it takes.
I'm kinda new to this. I've assumed a bit too much here. Lesson learned.
Jen

 

[jadefirefly]

I like to know the differentiation between fantasy and reality on a forum such as this because unfortunately, many newer players will not realise that some posters are posting fantasy, not actual real experiences and as a result can possibly be seriously injured or put in a precarious position because they thought based on another's 'experience' it was a safe thing to try.

This is very true, and a very good reason for concern, absolutely.

Guess I am pretty much a realist and if my concerns about being responsible about what we present as 'factual' on this forum is seen as appearing to be a 'better than' attitude I'm sorry but am not going to waste anymore time once again trying to justify my lifestyle and reasoning and suggest perhaps those who feel that way could look at why they view it that way, not whether I am saying something I am not. I have found, no matter how I (or many others here) word particular posts, someone is going to attach their own interpretation to it while others seenothing wrong with it and read it as it was intended...I have learned not to take on the responsibility for their interpretation at the cost of my own authenticity. As someone said in an interview last week, 'Age and life experience develops a great BS filter'.

Catalina

Cat, please tell me something. What does one have to do to get you to listen, think, and not take immediate offense at being told that -you- leapt to a conclusion about someone, and made yourself sound bad in doing it?

Do you not care if you wantonly offend newcomers who don't know you, and think you're on some high horse all because you are a mod and can't be bothered to take the time to really think about the way you phrase something?

Or do you just dislike me, because if that's the case, I can just stop caring about whether you offend someone who might turn out to be an interesting member of the community.

Whichever it is, just let me know, and I'll just leave you alone. I agree with you, you know. New people shouldn't just assume that everything someone posts is reality, or that it can be done by any idiot with no training or experience.

That doesn't mean that you need to treat every newcomer as if they're an idiot with no training or experience. If you're too busy to take the time to get to know them, then be too busy to take the time to insult them until you do know them, too.

 

[catalina_francisco]

This is very true, and a very good reason for concern, absolutely.




Cat, please tell me something. What does one have to do to get you to listen, think, and not take immediate offense at being told that -you- leapt to a conclusion about someone, and made yourself sound bad in doing it?

Do you not care if you wantonly offend newcomers who don't know you, and think you're on some high horse all because you are a mod and can't be bothered to take the time to really think about the way you phrase something?

Or do you just dislike me, because if that's the case, I can just stop caring about whether you offend someone who might turn out to be an interesting member of the community.

Whichever it is, just let me know, and I'll just leave you alone. I agree with you, you know. New people shouldn't just assume that everything someone posts is reality, or that it can be done by any idiot with no training or experience.

That doesn't mean that you need to treat every newcomer as if they're an idiot with no training or experience. If you're too busy to take the time to get to know them, then be too busy to take the time to insult them until you do know them, too.

It's seems you and I keep having these same issues and miscommunications Jade. I am at least glad we can agree on one point though. I am not upset, nor am I offended, nor did I leap to an incorrect conclusion as lic verified herself, nor do I dislike you or her or anyone. Let's go back to the origin of this ridiculous posting and reposting of accusations and innuendos from both of you toward me and what I am saying, feeling, doing despite what I have said.

lic said 'There is always a gap between Kink & reality isn't there?' I did not totally agree, nor did a couple of other people who chose to comment on it before and after me, and yet you both keep singling me out and mentioning I am a moderator etc., but have nothing to say about the same opinion on the question/statement coming from others. Since when does my posting an opinion on the forum have anything to do with being a moderator, especially when others posted a similar message and nothing was said? I could suggest it seems personal, but I don't rate moderating or myself as that important, but I have not found another reasoin yet why I am singled out and why you both continue on about it like it is a major event.

As to being on a high horse because I am moderator...once again you do not know me well. In fact it is not me who keeps bringing up the fact I am moderator here, which is why often people are on the board for months before they realise I am, usually only after someone else such as yourself mentions it, rarely me. You may if you were moderator feel it put you in some higher position, but that is not me. I treat everyone equally, here and in RL, no matter whether they are new, old, Dominant, submissive, male, female, gay, straight, etc.....I am not one who believes in special treatment or hierarchies and that is how I live my life and how I moderate. Interestingly the person who suggested I be asked to moderate, suggested me because I had already shown I was not one to favour some over others or place myself above others. Contrary to what some believe it is not a glamourous or elite position, and as I see Pure mentioned today, my moderating style is very laid back toward moderating whereby I just remove the multitude of SPAM threads that arrive on the forum weekly, sometimes daily, as well as the personal email addresses etc., sometimes inserted in posts as per Lit guidelines. Apart from that I am nothing but another poster. I am not responding to this situation anymore as I really do not care to, nor do I see it as necessary, nor do I have the time and energy. If you want to continue with it, have fun but I won't be joining you.

Catalina

 

[jadefirefly]

All I asked was that you listened. And still, you didn't.

I don't care if you're a mod, or a newbie. I asked if YOU cared that people got that impression about you -- not that I held that impression about you.

I asked why you then felt the need to chew -me- out for explaining to you why someone else misunderstood you. This is not the first time you have turned on me for - heaven forbid - trying to be helpful.

For the millionth time -- I don't care what you are. Mod, newbie, inexperienced or as seemingly-limiteless as you are. I don't care.

What I can't help but be curious about is that you allow others to perceive you as elitist in your personal activities, and don't care that they develop these perceptions.

I'd honestly like to know where else outside of this post I've waved your status in your face. lic is the one who seems fixated by it, not myself. I'm sorry if somehow you've gotten us mixed up.

Respond, or not, I don't care. I at least have learned my lesson, and that is that whenever you and someone else have a miscommunication, I'll just stay the hell out of the way. Sorry I bothered you -- enjoy the rest of your evening.

Jade

It's seems you and I keep having these same issues and miscommunications Jade. I am at least glad we can agree on one point though. I am not upset, nor am I offended, nor did I leap to an incorrect conclusion as lic verified herself, nor do I dislike you or her or anyone. Let's go back to the origin of this ridiculous posting and reposting of accusations and innuendos from both of you toward me and what I am saying, feeling, doing despite what I have said.

lic said 'There is always a gap between Kink & reality isn't there?' I did not totally agree, nor did a couple of other people who chose to comment on it before and after me, and yet you both keep singling me out and mentioning I am a moderator etc., but have nothing to say about the same opinion on the question/statement coming from others. Since when does my posting an opinion on the forum have anything to do with being a moderator, especially when others posted a similar message and nothing was said? I could suggest it seems personal, but I don't rate moderating or myself as that important, but I have not found another reasoin yet why I am singled out and why you both continue on about it like it is a major event.

As to being on a high horse because I am moderator...once again you do not know me well. In fact it is not me who keeps bringing up the fact I am moderator here, which is why often people are on the board for months before they realise I am, usually only after someone else such as yourself mentions it, rarely me. You may if you were moderator feel it put you in some higher position, but that is not me. I treat everyone equally, here and in RL, no matter whether they are new, old, Dominant, submissive, male, female, gay, straight, etc.....I am not one who believes in special treatment or hierarchies and that is how I live my life and how I moderate. Interestingly the person who suggested I be asked to moderate, suggested me because I had already shown I was not one to favour some over others or place myself above others. Contrary to what some believe it is not a glamourous or elite position, and as I see Pure mentioned today, my moderating style is very laid back toward moderating whereby I just remove the multitude of SPAM threads that arrive on the forum weekly, sometimes daily, as well as the personal email addresses etc., sometimes inserted in posts as per Lit guidelines. Apart from that I am nothing but another poster. I am not responding to this situation anymore as I really do not care to, nor do I see it as necessary, nor do I have the time and energy. If you want to continue with it, have fun but I won't be joining you.

Catalina

 

[Let_it_come]

End of soap opera back to Cigarette kink?
All this was was two people misunderstanding each other. I got Cat. all wrong, now I know better. Jade came in to help.
It's all just been a language thing anyway. Some things I read sound dismissive to me & a bit snarky so I react. The fact they sound that way to me doesn't always mean that it was the intention of the person saying them to give that impression. End of.

To you all.
Jenny

 

[lne_iii]

I almost made it through the day without a cigarette...almost.

But alas, I had to use a normal ashtray.
-sigh-


LNE

 

[catalina_francisco]

All I asked was that you listened. And still, you didn't.

I don't care if you're a mod, or a newbie. I asked if YOU cared that people got that impression about you -- not that I held that impression about you.

I asked why you then felt the need to chew -me- out for explaining to you why someone else misunderstood you. This is not the first time you have turned on me for - heaven forbid - trying to be helpful.

For the millionth time -- I don't care what you are. Mod, newbie, inexperienced or as seemingly-limiteless as you are. I don't care.

What I can't help but be curious about is that you allow others to perceive you as elitist in your personal activities, and don't care that they develop these perceptions.

I'd honestly like to know where else outside of this post I've waved your status in your face. lic is the one who seems fixated by it, not myself. I'm sorry if somehow you've gotten us mixed up.

Respond, or not, I don't care. I at least have learned my lesson, and that is that whenever you and someone else have a miscommunication, I'll just stay the hell out of the way. Sorry I bothered you -- enjoy the rest of your evening.

Jade

OK, I will try one more time. Perhaps the lesson should be you can't please all the people all the time Jade. So you have a problem with how I word things at times, what I say and when? Do you think everyone (that is everyone, not 98 out of 100 etc.) loves the way you post 100% of the time, the clothes you wear in everyday life, the way you approach people in RL, the music you like, the things you like to do in your spare time, your individual personality? This is not meant to be personal but to demonstrate to you that just because I might not speak the way you think is right, some others are happy with it and understand my intention, appreciate my words, or can accept it as it is.

Your opinion is yours and you are entitled to it, but I learned many moons ago that if I go through life worrying about how each and every person perceives and receives me I would go insane. It is not realistic to expect to please everyone, thus the best anyone can do is be themselves and hope others find that acceptable, but if not that is their choice. I cannot assume responsibility for the perceptions or thoughts or feelings of others, I can only take responsibility for myself. I know for a fact your words are not well received by everyone, but if you then change them to please those people, you will be displeasing the ones who are happy with them now, then what do you do to please them? Do you understand what I am saying, it is like a dog chasing its tail. For your own sanity, or mine in this case given you suggest I should spend a lot of time concerning myself with how I am perceived by some and try to please everyone, I can only be myself, not all things to all people at all times. It does not mean I do not care, but I have learned people pleasing does not work long term for anyone, nor is it healthy, nor is it authentic.

As we also see, there are people who have problems with Marquis', my co-moderator's wording at times...do you tell him he needs to change it and be worried about how he is perceived? I haven't seen it. I know I don't as I respect his right to be himself and authentic to who he is. The basis to happiness in this situation is being able to accept yourself, knowing who you are, doing your best without going out of your way to hurt people...if people have problems, and someone is always going to as this episode has demonstrated, all I or anyone can do is attempt to correct misconceptions where possible without compromising their own position just to please.


Catalina