"Christian Domestic Discipline"--BDSM by any other name....

[3113]

Don't know if this is news here, but here's the video reporting on it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdNwl-gncT0&feature=player_embedded

So. Anyone going to get the fifty page packet on this? Sounds informative. And like it came from a very different website that wants to sell to new customers

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Or, in reverse...

How about a domestic spanking relationship including some Christianity in it - like: "do unto others as you would have them DO UNTO YOU!"

 

[Stella_Omega]

It could be considered a TPE (Total Power Exchange) relationship, except that it's being foisted onto people who do not actually have the temperament or skills to make it work. Just because a man is a Christian-- and just because the Christian is a man-- does not in any way follow that he is wise at all.

The things that define BDSM are; individual choice and informed consent. Barring true TPE which says that abuse really is part of the desire, we all of us have the right to withdraw consent and take our autonomy and agency back. This "movement" doesn't talk much about that or give women any tools for self protection.

 

[ejredlady]

this movement in my opinion, is a desperate attempt for impotent men to regain control of their women.

 

[collector_guide]

My wife and I are Christian, and into bdsm throughout our marriage. I don't find being one nearest the other, or is any real conflict. But I don't see them nothing together at the same time much either.

Unless there's some Christian bdsm pamphlet we can pass around. I bet it can have all kinds if fun twists in making "sinners" "repent"

 

[Stella_Omega]

<snip>
Unless there's some Christian bdsm pamphlet we can pass around. I bet it can have all kinds if fun twists in making "sinners" "repent"

There is, but without the scare quotes. They actually take it very seriously, and the sinners (wives, to be specific) don't get to decide when, where and how-- or how much. Sometimes they can get a divorce.

As Christians, it might be the kind of thing you should look into-- it's an embarrassment upon your temple.

 

[laurasunshinegal]

based on my understanding of christian domestic discipline, yea its the same structure as bd/sm, just maybe justified a little differently. in D/s the reasoning is basically natural: i am submissive because i have accepted that i am this way. with CDD it seems to be a little more spiritual: i am submissive because i have accepted the Lord made me this way.

to me as a religious girl in a religious and D/s marriage, like i said i dont see a huge difference. i am the way i am, and my faith is my faith. i personally don't need to justify the way i am or the way my marriage is through religion... if others do, thats fine by me!

 

[Shankara20]

this movement in my opinion, is a desperate attempt for impotent men to regain control of their women.

I agree.

It might also be a misunderstanding of what "Oh Yes Jesus, Yes!"meant when someone was being spanked in the apartment above.

 

[annayarnkitten]

Easing guilt maybe...

Sounds like the Self righteous type Christians are looking for something to ease their guilt about reading and liking 50 shades..


A

 

[Noira]

As Christians, it might be the kind of thing you should look into-- it's an embarrassment upon your temple.

Ugh. I'm not even going to watch the video, I can guess, I heard enough of that sort of bullshit from my first church.

M/f BDSM is NOT the only way Christians can be kinky. My sexual preferences and religious preferences are two separate things. Consent is an important thing. When a religion's all out stating that oh yeah, because you're this, this is obviously how you MUST BE, eh, whatever, starts sounding like Gorean fantasy to me. Being a man doesn't make you a good master by default, nor does being a woman make you a good submissive. Some men are good masters, some are good submissives...

Yep. It's an embarrassment to all of us sane kinky Christians kicking about. If someone consents to a relationship involving domestic abuse and they know that's what they're getting into, great!

Don't go slapping a religion on it. That shit's personal.

Of course my feelings on the matter are skewed by this whole 'being religious, female identified, wants to torture people, including guys' thing. I just don't think that at any point my religion comes into that. I'm not sitting there thinking 'oh no I'm rebelling against my natural spiritual persona', I'm thinking 'oh yeah this is hot'... which is... how it should be?

Anyway, I don't have an issue with the concept of CDD if it's CONSENSUAL between both parties rather than them trying to force the roles onto their selves because they believe that's how God designed them to be, and that also that all Christian relationships should be that way. The thing is, I saw several relationships between heterosexual Christian couples that... well.

The man who wasn't a leader with a spitfire wife. The wife who really just wanted to get earrings but 'her husband wouldn't let her'. The man who stayed at home and raised the kids because she made more money than him (but people talked about it behind their backs). The pastor praising how quiet his wife was when he met her and how that indicated to him how he'd found the good submissive girl God wanted him to find... but really, she just liked Star Wars and wanted to do nerdy things.

There was a lot of quiet heartbreak going on behind the scenes when people tried to make themselves not fit their molds. Abuse, and separation, and lack of communication fostered by the ever-present "men are different than women! Women don't have visual attractions! Men need respect/women need love!" Etc. But maybe... they'd have been happier to find their own relationship's needs rather than the ones people around them told them they needed.

Shit, I'm getting rambly. Yeah, personal. Whatever.

TPE is great if the people involved have the temperament and desire to make it work.

Are you really a good leader if you're afraid to deal with her questioning you, saying no, drawing her own boundaries? Is that leadership or is it just fear that the own walls you've drawn around yourself will crumble when you're questioned...

 

[Felonious1]

http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/home.html

The whole concept of combining pseudo religion and lacing it with BDSM activities reeks of a narcissistic god complex and triggered my gag flex. 3 clicks and out for me. Seen enough.

Linked to see how much bovine excrement others can digest.

 

[Oubliette123]

''He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.''

Who wrote this stuff? This actually made me spit coffee everywhere.

Seems to me someone with control issues has dreamed this up and is now sitting back revelling in his castle watching his sheep run into line. Its all about ego. I hope there is also a strong lady there somewhere that manages to set up some sort of therapy/counselling service, because I'm sure it would be utilised.

 

[Netzach]

I don't know. It just sounds like perverted Promise Keepers. They creep me out more because there's more of them. Funny thing is that I've ALWAYS gotten the vibe that those guys are projecting and overstating the case. I've always gotten this miserably hen-pecked vibe off them, as if by saying "he's the HOH" it somehow becomes magically true for both of them, when he aint.

Abusers generally come up with enough solo justification for why they do it. This seems more like people who want to jack off to Bethany's Woodshed and feel superior to people like me if I do the same-ish thing.

 

[Stella_Omega]

https://www.google.com/search?q=christian+discipline+marriage

 

[box13]

I watched the video...don't know David Pakman, but I felt like I was listening to Rush Limbaugh tell me what a Democrat is.

I think I've read a fair number of CDD'ers posts, and David sounds pretty clueless to me.

 

[Ahlam]

This reminds of the rule of thumb.

We women are pretty evil and need to be subdued. It's for our own protection and for the good of the children. It's pretty much a pubic service . Also our reproductive rights should be managed by Christian males. We probably do not need to make as much money as our superior male counterparts because we'd totally blow it all on shoes anyway. At least we present a nice view when bent over something.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I watched the video...don't know David Pakman, but I felt like I was listening to Rush Limbaugh tell me what a Democrat is.

I think I've read a fair number of CDD'ers posts, and David sounds pretty clueless to me.

Were those posts written by men, or women, primarily?

 

[laurasunshinegal]

This reminds of the rule of thumb.

We women are pretty evil and need to be subdued. It's for our own protection and for the good of the children. It's pretty much a pubic service . Also our reproductive rights should be managed by Christian males. We probably do not need to make as much money as our superior male counterparts because we'd totally blow it all on shoes anyway. At least we present a nice view when bent over something.

lol!! thanks for the giggle!!

 

[FunwithRyleigh]

I have recently begun a DD household with my baby boy. We are both Christians - but I don't believe we would fall into the CDD perimeters.

I have heard the argument that a house can be female run and still be within the 'will of God' - because it is what the male wants. He gave her the power over him by submitting to her - and we all know that the submissive is truly the one with the most power in a D/S anyway.

 

[MeekMe]

I have recently begun a DD household with my baby boy. We are both Christians - but I don't believe we would fall into the CDD perimeters.

I have heard the argument that a house can be female run and still be within the 'will of God' - because it is what the male wants. He gave her the power over him by submitting to her - and we all know that the submissive is truly the one with the most power in a D/S anyway.

Maybe that's how you justify what you do, but we don't all view it that way.

 

[FunwithRyleigh]

Maybe that's how you justify what you do, but we don't all view it that way.

Was not really feeling the need to justify anything. What works for us may or may not work for others. I'm fully aware of that, which is one of the reasons why having open minded discussions is such a great opportunity to share various POV.

As for the submissive having the true power in a relationship, I didn't think I was sharing any big secret. You can declare yourself the leader all day long, but if no one follows.... IMHO - The true power comes from the decision to give your power to another - and then realize that if it is abused, you have the power to take it back.

I'm a switch and enjoy both sides of the slash. Each takes having the right person on the other side of that slash to make it feel right.

Hugs

 

[MeekMe]

That's your opinion. Don't try to speak for everyone by saying "and we ALL know," because that's not how we ALL see it. If that's how YOU view it, good for you. You can't speak for the rest of us.

 

[tryn2Bgood]

As for the submissive having the true power in a relationship, I didn't think I was sharing any big secret. You can declare yourself the leader all day long, but if no one follows.... IMHO - The true power comes from the decision to give your power to another - and then realize that if it is abused, you have the power to take it back.

I agree with the above quote, but at the same time, it's debatable who is actually in control. If a submissive willingly gives control to a Dom...well, then the Dom is the one in control at that time. A sub may even do things, within their limits, that they wouldn't normally do or may not even actually 'enjoy' doing because they gave up that control. Yes, the sub can decide not to 'follow the leader', and at that point the leader no longer has control. If you follow someone else's rules, willingly or not, they have a certain measure of control over you. (The government controls people all the time with laws. You might CHOOSE to obey the law because you don't want to be a criminal, but who is really in control in there?)

 

[FunwithRyleigh]

MeekMe - I feel we have gotten off on the wrong foot or that I have offended you in some way. That was not my intent. Please accept my apologies.
I have been in the BDSM lifestyle since 09, completed 2 years of classes and mentoring as both a submissive and a dominant, have attended several BDSM conventions and classes and attend my local dungeon as well as several group munches on a regular basis. Throughout my training and exploring, it has almost always been presented that in a D/S relationship, it is truly the submissive that holds the power, because they always have the last say... they can decide to do as instructed or not. Unlike the fantasy of complete 'powerlessness' - we are all still required to maintain self preservation. If you don't have that ability, then you are probably not in a loving D/S relationship, but rather in something akin to abuse. When I made the 'ALL' comment, you are correct, I was speaking from my opinion, based on the BDSM community in which I participate. (I'm not trying to say my opinion is correct - simply explaining myself and where my opinion came from. I am NOT trying to sway your opinion.)
Again, I was not trying to offend and I do hope we can move forward to continue enjoying interesting discussions from various points of view.

Tryn2Bgood - I love your analogy with the laws! You are soooo correct - the laws are in place - but it is up to each of us to decide to obey them or not. I'm going to guess that anyone caught speeding probably had to pay a consequence of not following the rules - but it was still the decision on our part to speed or not.