choke play

[miguels]

Hey everyone,

Do not really post on here but i meet a beautiful woman who has some really freaky needs...one of them is choking...and i have never done that soo how do i learn/what do i do..videos and pictures of where and how would be appreciated because i do want to please her needs and make her squirt...first time in m life i can finally explore my dominant side...but how do i get that animal to release and let go?? i feel like I cannot just go from normal to DOM in a drop of a hat (yet)

 

[Redkate]

For choking or breath play, there are a couple of articles in the BDSM library sticky that might help you.

I've also liked this article by Jay Wiseman:

http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Breath_Closing_Argument.php

I didn't know being choked could make you squirt though...

 

[graceanne]

Like redkate said, there's quite a few links in the library in regards to breath play.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=37322992#post37322992

 

[miguels]

cool thanks everyone! you know this is the first woman that has ever been open to me this sexually before so....i feel overloaded and feel like i might actually be able to go unrestrained..and thats the thing I am not sure what a unrestrained animal in me is capable of doing so articles of dominating a woman would be helpful i did read this to

http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/dominate-your-wife-girlfriend/

and felt this hit the mark...i know its in me its more of a comfort thing of gettng it the fuck out!

 

[seela]

http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/dominate-your-wife-girlfriend/

Umm... No. Granted, I didn't finish the article, but what I read, was kinda horrible.

I mean, an article that states that every woman wants to be taken even if they won't let you know they want that, and if you just take her, she doesn't need to feel guilty for the things she does/you make her do, so everything's hunky-dory, is, in my opinion, pretty damn far off the mark.

 

[Kim_Burly]

You have to be very careful with choking, if you do it right, it's going to leave marks. Try and keep your hands as low as possible, while still getting the desired effect. Make sure she has some turtle necks to wear for a few days after a good session. You may want to investigate choke holds which are done from behind and will make her pass out. You must absolutely learn about this before trying it on her and make sure she is ok with it and knows what to expect. Years ago I briefly had a Dom that knew how to do this and I never knew what he would be doing to me when I came to .

Hey everyone, Do not really post on here but i meet a beautiful woman who has some really freaky needs...one of them is choking...and i have never done that soo how do i learn/what do i do..videos and pictures of where and how would be appreciated because i do want to please her needs and make her squirt...first time in m life i can finally explore my dominant side...but how do i get that animal to release and let go?? i feel like I cannot just go from normal to DOM in a drop of a hat (yet)

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've also liked this article by Jay Wiseman:

http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Breath_Closing_Argument.php

Is that link working? Seems to be dead from here. FWIW, since I can't find a live link just now, it might be worth emphasising that Wiseman's view is that any choking play has a risk of serious complications up to and including death. This is not universally accepted (see e.g. http://www.datenschlag.org/howto/atem/english/wiseman.html) but given that Wiseman's an experienced EMT, it's worth at least considering what he has to say.

I believe consenting adults have the right to choose their own risks, but they should be aware of what risks they're taking.

Umm... No. Granted, I didn't finish the article, but what I read, was kinda horrible.

...yeah, I'd file that under "written by scumbags for scumbags".

There are women who do enjoy rough, assertive treatment as described in that article. I've dated several of them. But there are many women who do not - and even with those who do, it has to be with the right person and in the right situation. If you assume that every woman wants to be treated like that, without stopping to find out what that particular individual wants, you're going to end up raping somebody. Combining that with breath play only increases the risk that things will end up badly for all concerned.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I'm not much into choking, and what little I've done was done only after 1) discussion and watching a couple of demos by experienced chokers/chokees, and 2) discussion and negotiation with my potential chokee, and non-play practice, i.e., positioning of hands, force applied, etc., with constant feedback concerning what she felt both physically and emotionally as it was applied.

For the "beginner/novice," this is one of, IMNSHO, the three potentially most dangerous "common" practices in BDSM: (in no particular order) choking/erotic asphyxiation, since that's the main topic of this thread; fire play; electrical play (even violet wands). I would advise the most stringent caution in learning to play in these areas, and still-strong caution even after dozens of applications.

Asphyxiation, of course, is fairly self-evident in its dangers. Fire play can easily get out of hand, even for a vastly experienced practitioner. I don't know *any* smart, widely experienced player with fire who doesn't keep at least one - and often two or three - method(s) of extinguishment available any time s/he is involved in more than the lightest of fire play. Electrical play, even with the relatively benign violet wand or TENS unit, can present unexpected danger to anyone who might have heart issues, epilepsy or other seizure disorder, lupus, or a number of other unknown physical issues.

Of course, I recommend practice (at least on a pillow or similar non-living object) for people first learning to spank, paddle, flog, crop, cane, etc., another person. I personally "test" every new toy I buy/find/make/adapt on myself to at least some extent before I ever use it on another person. That way, I have an idea what it may feel like to that other person, despite the fact that every person is different and what may be barely a tickle to me could be unbearable to someone else. That's why I start with gentle spanking and slowly increase force, adjust angles, speed, etc.... to determine where each person's boundaries are, and the effect(s) such activities will have on them. You will also likely learn, as I have, that for most people on the "bottom" of BDSM activities, their tolerance and/or enjoyment of those activities can wax and wane to no discernible pattern.

Good luck to you, and welcome to the BDSM Talk and Café fora!

 

[CutieMouse]

Are *you* interested in breath play, or is it one of those things that "she's into" and sounds hawt?

"Breath play" doesn't have to necessarily involve CHOKING. She can hold her breath or wear a corset. Tell her to take a deep breath, then pinch her nose or put the palm of your hand over her mouth. Push a blow job a few seconds longer than necessary, so she has to gasp when she comes up for air. Put a pillowcase (or something similar) over her head to mimic a limitation. Hell, put a pillow over her face for 3 or 4 strokes during sex. There are a million and ten ways to do "breath play" that aren't as dangerous as choking your partner.

Always have a tap out signal (or something to drop/use as a signal).

Educate yourself about the risks, and don't do stuff you're uncomfortable with (no matter how much she says she wants it).

Oh, and that website the OP linked?

 

[Texguy84]

Always have a tap out signal (or something to drop/use as a signal).

Was mainly coming in to mention this. Obviously safewords are a bit tricky when choking, so you need to agree beforehand on a signal for her to use if she needs you to back off. My wife slaps my wrist for this sort of thing.

And obviously, it's best if she's in a position where she can *give* the signal, so no trying to choke the shit out of her while you have her hogtied and blindfolded.

Other than that, take it slow and ease into it until you both hit a good zone, and be careful.

 

[DVS]

Being a novice to all of this, you really need to educate yourself to the risks. She's into it, but because you would be preforming the act, you need to educate yourself about the risks, the practice of restraint on your part and what to do if you ever forget to practice restraint and she needs to be resuscitated. Don't think it won't happen because it can. There are numerous sad stories of cases that people have died because someone kept them from breathing for a few seconds longer than last time, because they both thought it was hot.

I'm very much into electroplay but I always stress to people who want to give it a try that it takes a little knowledge of electricity to play with it safely. There are basic rules. If you don't have that knowledge, you might get by without getting hurt or hurting someone else, but the odds are against you. Understanding the idiosyncrasies of electricity at least gives you better than a 50/50 chance that you won't hurt anybody. The more you know about it, your odds get better.

It's the same with breath play. Personally, I have a phobia about it. Claustrophobia has similar twinges so I don't see it as the slightest bit erotic. And I always tend to think the worst about things. I don't ever want to be sexually aroused by something, only to have it backfire and end up hurting someone, or worse.

That's one reason why I know as much as I do about electricity. In fact, I try to understand anything bad that might happen from bondage, anal sex and even spanking. Knowing bad things can happen gives you the upper hand. It you tell yourself these things only happen to other people, you aren't being honest with yourself. And that can get somebody hurt. Educate yourself and don't ever go beyond that education.

 

[Texguy84]

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