Hi all i am new to posting i am more of a lurker, but i have had thoughts to bdsm and am willing to try it out when i find someone to learn from or with. I am wondering how do I know what I am cause part of my personailty is very dominat and other parts are submissive so how do i know what to go for so to speak.
choice dom or sub?
- Thread starter bones73
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FungiUg
Waves at Cats
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You may be one of those precious "switches" who gets to enjoy both sides of the whip!
Don't concentrate on the "labels" so much as on what you enjoy and want to experience and experiment with. Then find a like minded soul... and go from there!
Don't concentrate on the "labels" so much as on what you enjoy and want to experience and experiment with. Then find a like minded soul... and go from there!
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
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MissTaken said:What sorts of kinky fantasies make you hard?
Start there and the rest will fall into place!
Hmmm methinks, MissT is getting to be a bit too outspoken adn direct these days!
Don't worry MissT! Nothing that a good long spanking won't fix!
Bachlum Chaam
Crumpet Captivator
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FungiUg said:
LMAO it appears the lady is sussed
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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Hey bones!
If the idea of joining Bachlum Charm and fungiug in spanking my ass to a nice cherry red, while you watch me squirm, moan and cry out does something for you, I would suggest you start with playing with some top activities !
Now, damn, I am wet and need to shower again!
If the idea of joining Bachlum Charm and fungiug in spanking my ass to a nice cherry red, while you watch me squirm, moan and cry out does something for you, I would suggest you start with playing with some top activities !
Now, damn, I am wet and need to shower again!
Bachlum Chaam
Crumpet Captivator
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*retrieves jaw from desk top*
D's mariposa
Literotica Guru
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Re: Hey bones!
On the other hand, if you're insanely jealous of Miss T being in the middle of all that get in line!! (Behind me please, no cuts in the line!)
MissTaken said:If the idea of joining Bachlum Charm and fungiug in spanking my ass to a nice cherry red, while you watch me squirm, moan and cry out does something for you, I would suggest you start with playing with some top activities !
Now, damn, I am wet and need to shower again!
On the other hand, if you're insanely jealous of Miss T being in the middle of all that get in line!! (Behind me please, no cuts in the line!)
Whatever it is that makes you feel good (within safe, sane and consentual boundaries, of course) is what you should pursue. If you enjoy spanking and being spanked, then engage in both activities. If you enjoy being told what to do in the bedroom, but now and again, feel like tying your partner up, then do so. If you find more peace submitting to another human being, then submit, and if you find more excitement dominating, then do so.
I am a switch. I have more experience as a submissive, and I find more peace giving of myself to another, but I get this wicked rush of adrenaline when someone is giving of themselves to me, like I have given to others. Perhaps it is because I understand what the gift of self means, as I have given it, and perhaps it is because it is a challenge for me, I do not know. I am still learning.
And do some reading. Read the topspace and subspace threads. This is an excellent forum for self-education, and you can always ask questions.
I am a switch. I have more experience as a submissive, and I find more peace giving of myself to another, but I get this wicked rush of adrenaline when someone is giving of themselves to me, like I have given to others. Perhaps it is because I understand what the gift of self means, as I have given it, and perhaps it is because it is a challenge for me, I do not know. I am still learning.
And do some reading. Read the topspace and subspace threads. This is an excellent forum for self-education, and you can always ask questions.
AnelizeDarkEyes
Lurker Deluxe
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bones73 said:
Well, you're in the right place
Welcome to our community!We've got lots of people willing to help you on your journey, ask questions, and read, read, read. Our Library is a great place to start, and along with Vixenshe's suggestions i'd also recommend the "submission" and "dominance", and "switch" categories. I'd also highly recommend CastleRealm and Mistress Steel's Steel Door Scrolls, both websites full of articles on all aspects of BDSM from both sides of the whip.
Good luck in your journey
~anelize, "your friendly neighborhood submissive librarian"
Luna_Wolf72
CinnaWolf circa 2023
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bones73 said:
Hello and welcome to the forum (and to LIT) that said(...speaking from personal experience) it is possible to enjoy both sides of the same coin at differing times with different people. Myself, I am usually dominant when it comes to males...and extremely submissive when it comes to females. It all depends on what feelings are aroused when you meet the person you are choosing to explore this lifestyle with. There are soo many exciting aspects to this lifestyle...so many people and things to enjoy and learn. Learning about what pleases you is only the first step...so take the time to learn and then...explore and experiment....
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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Etoile said:Who says a shower is necessary?
I like how you think.
And everyone has given some sound advice, even though I disrupted your thread.
Dont' get too hung up on what you call yourself, just explore and find out what feels good for you.
Thank you all for your warm welcome and excellent advice. I have done some reading and thought about what i like and will continue to read more till i have that other person to experiment/experience things with. I have had the oppurtunity to try a few things with past lovers but they didnt want to pursue it past minor playfulness so i didnt press it with them and spanking you Miss T. is a nice thought (smile) but also is caressing your ass and doing other things to you after the spanking that would make you feel all better. I will keep reading up on the site that Anelizedarkeyes suggested and hopefully I can experiment when the oppurtunity comes around.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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Well you simply must come back and report in when opportunity knocks!
Oh, and honestly, many Doms would lotion my red ass or rub it down with ice cubes before taking me from behind however they wish.
An important part of BDSM play is after care. Adn the feeling of caring for your submissive is one that is equally as important as the energy created by the touch of your hand swatting her fleshy ass.
Oh, and honestly, many Doms would lotion my red ass or rub it down with ice cubes before taking me from behind however they wish.
An important part of BDSM play is after care. Adn the feeling of caring for your submissive is one that is equally as important as the energy created by the touch of your hand swatting her fleshy ass.
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
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MissTaken said:Well you simply must come back and report in when opportunity knocks!
Oh, and honestly, many Doms would lotion my red ass or rub it down with ice cubes before taking me from behind however they wish.
An important part of BDSM play is after care. Adn the feeling of caring for your submissive is one that is equally as important as the energy created by the touch of your hand swatting her fleshy ass.
Exactly what sort of "lotion" on your arse do you mean, MissT?
Oppurtunity
Well hopefully oppurtunity will knock very soon since I posted an ad in the bdsm personals here on lit and if anyone knows a good teacher in iowa send her my way plz =). And I will definately let you know what happens after that. As for your red ass Miss T. hmm just the thought of it warm red and waiting is such a beautiful thought that i need a moment to myself. Hope you all had a good day and a better one tommorow and thank you all for your help.
Bones
Well hopefully oppurtunity will knock very soon since I posted an ad in the bdsm personals here on lit and if anyone knows a good teacher in iowa send her my way plz =). And I will definately let you know what happens after that. As for your red ass Miss T. hmm just the thought of it warm red and waiting is such a beautiful thought that i need a moment to myself. Hope you all had a good day and a better one tommorow and thank you all for your help.
Bones
