check out rckplsky!

[rckplsky]

Check out my stories! here's the link let me know what you think:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=808525&page=submissions

 

[tickledkitty]

I started to read Tyler's Gangbang but only got about halfway through the first page. Present tense makes this awkward. You begin too many sentences with "I." You said it was 6 p.m., but then the girl says "Good morning, sunshine." Was she just being clever? I don't get it. You used the term "fag hole" excessively. It's not that great of a term, and I think there are others you could use. I wasn't interested enough to read further.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I read a few of your stories. I don't know quite what to say. Your plots are virtually non-existent, and for the most part unbelieveable. You really need to take some writing classes.

 

[rckplsky]

thanks

Well my stories are supposed to be unbelievable and sort of exploitative. Let me know more on how I can imporve on them!

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Well my stories are supposed to be unbelievable and sort of exploitative. Let me know more on how I can imporve on them!

Suspension of disbelief is the most important thing a writer needs to accomplish. We all know that there are no elves, hobbits, orcs etc, but when you read Tolkien, he makes it believable as you read his work. Same with JK Rowlings in Harry Potter.

If you can't make the reader believe your story, then you've failed. A woman has a miscarriage, and takes a cab to the clinic and then has sex right afterwards? Sorry, not believable in the least.

How do you improve? I don't know. You need to read some of the stories on the toplists, try to learn how some of the more successful writers at Lit write a story.

 

[_Lynn_]

I started to read a few, but just couldn't go on.

Unbelievable? Yes.

Needing improvement? Yes.

Classes, reading from the Top Authors List, an editor.....might help you to start at least.