Check out my first story and tell me what you think!

[completeexperience]

My first story, "Hot Soles Heidi," was just posted!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=506173

I hope you like it, but I welcome any feedback, postive, negative or other!

 

[Ben_A_Vanguarde]

I gave you five

Personally, there is nothing unique (read that as memorable) about the story. She is too perfect and the sex and stamina too much (as in unrealistic).

Having said that, I would like to encourage you to continue but try to throw in a story somewhere. By the way, the intro paragraph is irrelevant and should be cut.
Ben

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

Guy screws a chick who he thinks is hot. Shocking. With no foreplay? Boring. Try some Plot...Guy meets girl with "hang the blinds" in mind. Ends up getting it on.