Check out "Momma's Cock"

[cimeriel]

I want to request that you, forum reader, take a look at my stories. I've been waiting to post this because I wanted to reach a certain point in the story. Not exactly closure, but sort of an end to the first part. I've finally done so.

That's not to say you'll make it that far, if at all. The response I'm getting so far seems pretty polar; very positive or negative. While this thread may end up with spoilers, I don't want to spoil the story. I will say that it's about a typical 18 year old boy who walks in on his prim and proper conservative mother engaging in very obscene acts. During the week that follows, she dominates him sexually without actually having sex with him, and sets up humiliating situations with his friends and neighbors.

My goal is to obtain comments, suggestions, and some criticism about the characters choices and the storyline. Also, I'd like ideas on where to take the series from its current end. I am not interested in grammar or style criticism.

My author name is Cimeriel, the name of the stories are "Momma's Cock" chapters 1-8, and they are in categories from Incest, to BDSM, to Loving Wives (which I've noticed definitely affects the response I get).

A simple list of the stories can be found at my profile, as I have no other stories posted yet:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=963549&page=submissions
Here is a link to chapter one:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=360558

I appreciate your time and consideration.

 

[HeyAll]

Hey Cimeriel,


First off let me say I looovvveee this story. I love it. I've been a fan since the first part and have been checking back for a long time to wait for the rest.

The newer chapters didn't disapoint, lived up to the wait.


What I'd recommend for the future parts is, for the next chapter, have the mom make Wes give him a blowjob like already planned. Make the whole chapter revolve around it, about how much Wes hates it and describes what he does in detail.

For another chapter you make maybe have the mom find out about Wes and Sue somehow resulting in the mom sodomizing Sue or maybe having her do nasty things with the black guy.

You could end the story by having Wes try to break free someone how trying to steal the incriminating evidence his mom has only to discover that his mom has made copies of the pictures she has on him. The result is Sue being forced to hold Wes down while the mom and black guy sodomize him and make him give oral, just the worst day of his life, followed by a post story about how Wes is ruined for life or something.


cheers

 

[HeyAll]

but of course those are just suggestions for 3 chapters, with the way this story has been going, I could see it stretching out across a couple more

 

[FreshlyDirty]

Balls In A Work Out Sweat Suit Hot

This story delivers what porn stories are supposed to deliver, busted nuts. That is the bottom line. At the end of the day, did the story make the reader bust a nut. Did the story make the reader go out and find a hooker to bust a nut. Did the story make the reader bum rush his girlfriend, throw her down, have her like a cave man would, and bust a nut. The one most important criteria of a porn story imho is the amount of busted nuts due to the story either directly or indirectly.

C'mon Cimeriel, you don't need help with the next part. You already know what's coming up next. The young man is going to slobber all over his momma's big fat yeah uh huh uh huh. In a variety of poses, suction levels, and speeds, this scene might take up a whole chapter by itself.

What's next? I'm thinking like cum in a container of some kind. What shall he toast to? Having a slut mom with slut friends who are willing to save up cum for him to down in several gulps. Yes, momma is going to keep pushing until the young man snaps. She takes it to several different levels before he finally looses it. You are very creative in writing, I'm sure you can come up with several scenarios that keep pushing the young man to the brink of insanity.

At the moment the young man snaps, he takes over the dominate role and gets some ass off of momma. That thing momma has keeps mashing into his abdomen while he's stroking away at momma's pussy hole. He makes momma ride him and again that thing keeps slapping up and down. He has to grab a hold of it to keep it from slapping about wildly.

The above are just suggestions. I look forward to reading your stories whichever direction they may take. Your stories earn the most important critique there is in writing porn, many busted nuts all over the place.

 

[cimeriel]

Hey

Thanks a lot for the feedback fellas. I love your ideas, and they are similar to what I have planned. I don't know about swapping roles though, Wes is a sub at heart.

I also appreciate the praise. I'm thinking about a new storyline that may generate some excitement. I'll post again when I get it going.

 

[HeyAll]

Can't wait!


Use mine, it fits perfectly to the the stories so far and is very hot.

 

[HeyAll]

btw, I think there are 2 ways to end it:

1. Wes saying "fuck it, might as well enjoy it" after being used every which way by his momma and the black guy, including being sodomized (which he dreaded every minute of).



2. Wes hating it and still hating it and never geting over it.



But of course Wes would be completly discusted the whole time during the next few chapters.


cheers