Cheating Partners: Forgive and Forget?

[juicylips]

How many times do you forgive?

Have you been caught cheating?


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

Cassidy

 

[plasticman33]

Hmmmm, interesting questions, JL.

It really hasn't happened to me, as far as getting caught, that is.

I don't know, I guess it would be easier to forgive the one night stand than it would finding out about a long term emotional and sexual relationship.

I did catch my second wife in the act with her lesbian psychologist, but they let me join in, so I wasn't upset!

 

[sch00lteacher]

First time yes.

Second time, leave.

Been there, done it.

 

[Southern37]

How many times do you forgive?

Not sure I could, It would depend on the circumstances.

Have you been caught cheating?

No. I'm still alive aren't I?

Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

No, I don't think so.

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Emotional attachment. You can fuck and not cheat.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

Probably.

Cassidy

 

[Black_Bird]

First time yes.
Second time, leave.
Been there, done it.

Have to agree with the teach on this one.

 

[freescorfr]

I try not to confuse my relationships. My life is made up of one-to-one relationships. What goes on at my end of each relationship is my responsibility. What goes on at the other end is the other person's responsibility.

For me, this a fundamental law of relational hygene.

If, however, I were to postulate intentions, feelings and thoughts for the other person, I'd soon be screwed up - and if people second guess my feelings or intentions, they're quite often simply wrong.

Common sense? But hard to swallow?

 

[lovetoread]

How many times do you forgive? Once

Have you been caught cheating? Nope


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity? No,for me it would be the same.

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else. Actual fucking.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ? No,if they can be that blase about it,what kind of person are they?

 

[SilverVeil]

How many times do you forgive?

Never

Have you been caught cheating?

No because the relationships I have been in had value to me, and I respected my partner.

Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

No, it would just be harder to resist the impulse to kill them.


What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Cheating to me is engaging in sexual play either physical or cyber without my partners knowledge and consent.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

No

 

[juicylips]

Have you been caught cheating?

No because the relationships I have been in had value to me, and I respected my partner.


What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Cheating to me is engaging in sexual play either physical or cyber without my partners knowledge and consent.

I like your answers. Especially about respecting your partner.

I do detect some unresolved issues involving cheating. Have you been on the other end of a relationship where you were cheated on??

Cassidy

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I think I could forgive once, others I guess it depends how indepth your relationship is or how in love you are.

if it's a starting of a relationship, and you aren't serious yet.

I guess they are intitled to explore other options.

if you are in a serious relationship, it would depend on the cercomstansec.

 

[bored1]

How many times do you forgive?

Have you been caught cheating?


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

Cassidy

I was forgiven once...The 2nd time ended my marriage and broke up the family......As I have matured I now believe that not only is there physical infidelity there is also emotional infidelity......I also believe one has to look at the motivation behind being unfaithful....For me it was the fact that I only saw sex as an act.....Which for me came from being severely molested as a child........Never understood the emotional part<I do Now>I now believe cheating is wrong,To hurt someone who trusts an believes in you is a terrible thing

 

[sexy-girl]

How many times do you forgive?

wouldnt forgive ... although i might want too it would kill the relationship straight away because all kind of trust and specialness would be gone

Have you been caught cheating?

no i've never cheated and never would

Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

both would be equally bad

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

sexual acts ... cybersex included

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

no

Cassidy

sorry i dont mean to judge anyone here but im perplexed by Southern37 that you say its possible to have sex without it being cheating ? i dont understand how anyone could see it that way

 

[Wave_Rider]

Re: Re: Cheating Partners: Forgive and Forget?

Posted byWave_Rider

How many times do you forgive?
I try to forgive "everyone" once; that is easier than the "forgetting:

Have you been caught cheating?
Nope


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?
Never happened but it probably would be easier for me, as she looked at me with a look of shock, embarrassment or ?????

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else
Whether you touch, or are touched on your body or in your mind....it is cheating....but when my mind/heart/soul are touched.........its much deeper

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?
If 'she' were to cheat behind my back, I am certain it would never be just a one night stand.

 

[Massive Grooves]

Nope, on a personal level, I do not accept any form of cheating (which I will define as any sexual act with another person). We've discussed it and have stated that cheating would end our marriage. I believe this way and the consequences are valid only because we've discussed it and come to an agreement. I do not disagree with those that define cheating differently and feel that it would not ruin their relationship since that is a decision that they have made.

 

[Flower Petals]

A better question in my mind....



Is there a double standerd to cheating? Guys out there who cheat... would you get upset finding out your SO cheated as well? Or, the same for girls who cheat, I suppose.



I don't cheat. I have in the past, and was never caught, but it was when I was younger, and just went where my feelings took me. I know better now, and would never hurt any one I was in a relationship with over 10 minutes of sexual bliss.


As of right now, though, I am not in any relationship, so... I guess I can't cheat.

 

[SweetBrat73]

How many times do you forgive?

Never

Have you been caught cheating?

No because the relationships I have been in had value to me, and I respected my partner.

Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

No, it would just be harder to resist the impulse to kill them.


What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Cheating to me is engaging in sexual play either physical or cyber without my partners knowledge and consent.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

No

Have to agree with ya on this one Sliver!!! Well put!!!

Also have to agree with sexy-girl...how can somebody fuck somebody else and not consider it cheating???


Brat

 

[Ishmael]

How many times do you forgive?

None anymore.

Have you been caught cheating?

Never cheated, can't get caught not doing anything.


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

Absolutely

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Either one will do it for me. If you want to fuck or have formed an emotional attachment elsewhere. Leave.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

Nope, won't be forgiven or forgotten.

Cassidy

I tried the forgive/forget routine twice. Didn't work. So now it's down the road. Immediately. Won't waste a moments effort trying to save a relationship where trust has been riven.

Ishmael

 

[juicylips]

Have to agree with ya on this one Sliver!!! Well put!!!

Also have to agree with sexy-girl...how can somebody fuck somebody else and not consider it cheating???


Brat

I think some marriages are considered "open". Fucking is allowed as long as the partner knows what is going on.

IMHO,
Cassidy

 

[Flower Petals]

I don't think I would consider it cheating if both partners are aware of it, and agree to it. That would be different to me. Cheating to me is when it's behind thier back, secretly. That's what hurts.

 

[Sabineteas]

I could forgive, but I would never forget that my SO did that to me.

Nothing would make it any better. I would feel that my SO betrayed me for simple gratification. And I would feel so bad that my SO was missing something from me and couldnt talk to me about it, but had to go somewhere else for sex

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I forgive things way too much ... but I never forget ... its a vicious cycle ...


Morgy

 

[Ishmael]

It's the trust

I could forgive, but I would never forget that my SO did that to me.

Nothing would make it any better. I would feel that my SO betrayed me for simple gratification. And I would feel so bad that my SO was missing something from me and couldnt talk to me about it, but had to go somewhere else for sex

It's the broken trust that can never really be repaired. All the other reasons become moot for me. The trust is paramount and without it I can find no reason to continue the relationship.

Hence my attitude that no matter what my emotional ties are, it is the end. Any attempt to salvage the relationship is, for the most part, wasted time. The two I did attempt to salvage provided me with nothing more than some talking points. "Well I tried to save it." My friends were very sympathetic. But all that time was wasted.

And you are absolutely right Sabineteas, if they couldn't talk to you about it then, what about the next time? And how would you ever know?

Ishmael

 

[shynsexy]

cheating

yes I have cheated before and have told my ex SO. It ruined our relationship but I felt better telling him than keeping it secret. He forgave he but never forgot and it was always in the background.

I have realized now that I never loved him, or I wouldnt have cheated. To me cheating begins with a kiss and a thought and intent for more. Afetr the first kiss it's all down hill. IMHO.

 

[TigerClaw]

How many times do you forgive? 0, but depends on the circumstance.

Have you been caught cheating? Never, havent cheated.


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity? Possibly, but would have fun with it. Would sneak up on them, grab my camera and start taking very provocative pictures.

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else. Before my love now, I would have said the act only. Emotionally, that is tough. I never thought cybering was cheating though it could be. The emotional could be cheating if she started to pull away from me emotionally.
I dont cyber and I would not like it if she cybered now. Can not really explain the difference now from my past views.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ? Yes, but it depends on the situation. Was it a weak moment? Was she intimidated into it?... etc.

Cassidy

Answered by: TigernNJ

 

[Quiet_Cool]

How many times do you forgive?

Have you been caught cheating?


Would it be harder to forgive them if you caught them in the act of infidelity?

What do you feel is cheating? Just actual fucking or emotional attachment to someone else.

Is it easier to forgive a one night stand ?

Cassidy

If you choose to forgive, it's a personal choice...I don't think I could...respect issues like others have mentioned...you either want the relationship, or you don't...pick one and live with it.

I don't cheat, of course, I also don't like the idea of a serious relationship. ither way, honesty is a must, whether committed or not.

Much harder to forgive if you caught them...the mental picture would make it all too hard for me to let go...

Cheating has nothing to do with sex, however, sex can represent a type of infidelity, meaning if I go out on a date with a girl while I'm supposed to be committed, whether I have sex with the girl or not, I'm cheating...othewise it isn't a date, right? If I try to fuck every woman I see, and they all turn me down, then I'd be no less of an ass hole than the guy who cheats with that many women...going through with it isn't an issue. Any betrayal of the situation is cheating...

Yes, easier to forgive a one-night stand...but how would you possibly know whether it only happened once?

Out of curiosity, why wasn't "have you ever cheated?" a question? We're not all cheaters...I'm as honest as they come in terms of those things...well, in terms of a lot of things I guess. In my viewpoint, it all comes down to personal value placed on those situations and the respect we show them. If it isn't worth being faithful, why are you in the relationship?