Cheating on your sig. other

[SinfulyCurious]

I saw a poll the other day asking how many men and women cheat on their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend and was a bit suprised by the response. I'm curious what type of response we'd get here.

I'm not really sure on how to post a poll, so just say at the beginning of your thread what percet of men and what percent of women do you think cheat?

More importantly, I'm curious as to what, exactly, would drive someone to cheat on their significant other?

 

[Gilly Bean]

How is this a "how to?"

Are you asking how to cheat?

 

[SexyChele]

How is this a "how to?"

Are you asking how to cheat?

Yeah. What she said.

 

[BTK51]

I think it's okay to post here

The question that is being asked is "why?" or "what to believe?" or "how to figure out what the real truth is?".. There a lot of posts in this thread that don't fit 100% in "how to". I agree that it probably fits better in the General Board though.

To answer your question: I have no clue and it would only be a guess. The stats that I have seen or read seem so much higher than my immediate circle of friends and relatives. On the other hand, I just may be very naive.

As to why, I would say that there are some people that have a higher integrity level than others. Some, like our former President, can rationalize that it isn't really cheating. Some want out of a relationship but don't have the backbone or strength to end it. But for most I think that it is just that they are so self-centered that they can't empathize with the partner that they are cheating on or figure that if I don't get caught what's the difference.

Sounds a bit harsh but just my opinion.

 

[Gilly Bean]

I don't look at How-To as a "let's take a survey on what you think about how many people do this". I think of it more as a "How do I do this?" type of place, I guess.

 

[BTK51]

Yeah - You're Right

The more I think about it te more I think you're probably right. It isn't the right thread for a poll. I just look at some of the other topics where they are opinions and some have pretty good conversations.

 

[ReadyOne]

The biggest problem may be the defination of "cheating".

A couple of women have said "If he has an encouter with a guy then he is cheating, but if I have an encounter with a girl then I am not cheating."

The logic of such escapes me, but since it exists it must be accounted for.

Personally, cheating is defined as "lack of knowelage and approval by your partner".

But some say it's still cheating even if your partner is with you, other say "only if you get caught".

And the question pops up implicity in Dear Abby (etc.) on a regular basis. There isn't a common defination anywhere.

 

[Amfrigger]

The biggest problem may be the defination of "cheating".

<Snip>

And the question pops up implicity in Dear Abby (etc.) on a regular basis. There isn't a common defination anywhere.

If you think you're doing something you have to hide from your partner, you're cheating, bud.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Native Alien]

I totally agree with the previous two posts. It alls boils down to the trust issue and if you are hiding something from me then it is cheating. Even if it is just as someone to talk to.

 

[James G 5]

If you think you're doing something you have to hide from your partner, you're cheating, bud.

That's why I'm always open about it

 

[emer]

Cheating sucks! I'm not trying to rationalize my behavior ... just explain it. My husband cheated on my for twenty years. Other woman I could forgive ... passion for the career I could forgive (and encourage) ... but he put one thing in front of me and our marriage and our kids that was totally unacceptable. His Mistress. His addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Aside from the total degradation I felt when I found him passed out in the car, or the neighbors found him passed out, or I had to submit myself to anonymous HIV testing at the Health dept, a lot of other nasty stuff eventually happened. Jobs lost, finances screwed.

Married life sucked after a while ... I got even by screwing around ... and hurt no one but myself.

One thing I learned about myself and I still use it as I'm learning to date again. One man at a time. (because i do want to find a monogomous partner to share the rest of my life with).

emer ...

(the monogomous stuff is subject to change on a daily basis ... but I will be honest about it with my partner and expect the same)