Cheating in the relationship

[BiggDogg91]

The title says cheating and the original post mentions it too. To me, that is something completely different than 'fun in the side' that is approved by both people in a relationship.

I'm only going to say this once. No matter if man or woman approves it, it's still cheating. You can try and justify it anyway you want to.

 

[LoneMilf]

I'm only going to say this once. No matter if man or woman approves it, it's still cheating. You can try and justify it anyway you want to.

I feel no need to justify anything. We just have different views on it.
Fortunately we're not all alike

 

[Mike130]

I have another personal question, since the last one was taken out of context. Why do men and women feel like it's okay to have fun on the side? If you are a man or woman if you are going to cheat, don't get involved in any kind of relationship. Loyalty and respect is a big part of any relationship. I would like to hear from the married men, married women, single men, and single women. Let's keep it and tell the truth.

Before I got married I’d seen both sides because I wasn’t ready to settle down, and neither was the girl. That’s the reality when you’re younger. I see your point but I will add a caveat, that yes, cheating in a relationship hurts, but to ditch that person because of an indiscretion may deprive you of a truly special person.

A married girl, much younger than me approached me to have an affair. I was single, not looking to break up a marriage. It wasn’t just based on sex, she was unhappy and eventually got divorced. I didn’t want her to move in with me so she got an apartment with another girl but we still dated. I was mostly faithful but she was very pretty and had no problems attracting men. She had sex with many of them. She eventually told me about it, but I wasn’t that surprised. She was young, pretty, and like a guy, she had an active libido. Having been cheated on before and actually having group sex with previous girlfriends, watching them have sex with others had made ‘cheating’ not really a big thing in my mind. And sex wasn’t the only thing we had that connected us. A great personality, sense of humor, common likes.

Well eventually we got married, started a family, and it’s been about 40 years and we’re more in love than ever. If I had let a few indiscretions when we were dating bother me, I would have missed out on a beautiful compassionate soulmate. While sex is an important element of a relationship, it’s far from the only element.

 

[ilovetoeat42]

Oh I know it's morally wrong, but I have needs that aren't being met by my wife and the lady had needs that weren't being met by her husband....so we met each others needs.

 

[BiggDogg91]

Before I got married I’d seen both sides because I wasn’t ready to settle down, and neither was the girl. That’s the reality when you’re younger. I see your point but I will add a caveat, that yes, cheating in a relationship hurts, but to ditch that person because of an indiscretion may deprive you of a truly special person.

A married girl, much younger than me approached me to have an affair. I was single, not looking to break up a marriage. It wasn’t just based on sex, she was unhappy and eventually got divorced. I didn’t want her to move in with me so she got an apartment with another girl but we still dated. I was mostly faithful but she was very pretty and had no problems attracting men. She had sex with many of them. She eventually told me about it, but I wasn’t that surprised. She was young, pretty, and like a guy, she had an active libido. Having been cheated on before and actually having group sex with previous girlfriends, watching them have sex with others had made ‘cheating’ not really a big thing in my mind. And sex wasn’t the only thing we had that connected us. A great personality, sense of humor, common likes.

Well eventually we got married, started a family, and it’s been about 40 years and we’re more in love than ever. If I had let a few indiscretions when we were dating bother me, I would have missed out on a beautiful compassionate soulmate. While sex is an important element of a relationship, it’s far from the only element.

I hope you are happy. Cheating is a big deal to me and always will be.

 

[Mike130]

I hope you are happy. Cheating is a big deal to me and always will be.

It is a big deal, but she was truthful and told me all about it. We all do stupid things in our 20’s. Yes, I have had my heart broken by many girls. Maybe I broke a few myself. But by the time my wife came along I was much more mature. Sex is a physical thing. If that’s all you’re interested in then you’ll probably be disappointed in any relationship because there is constant temptation for both men and women. Important qualities include emotional maturity, compatible interests, and intelligence. And respect for the other person in the form of truthfulness. I’ve had many relationships with women who didn’t cheat. I probably wouldn’t have lasted with any of them. I found my true soulmate with one that initially did cheat.

Not everyone’s experience is the same though. But if you go out with enough women you’ll develop a sense of who the right girl will be. She doesn’t love you for your looks, your money or your car. She loves you for you. She doesn’t need to go out dancing every night, she’s happy to curl up on the couch and watch tv with you. The one that you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with. Emotional intelligence and maturity.

I was lucky. Found her on my first try at marriage. 40 years ago.

 

[BiggDogg91]

I have a few things to say. I'm not interested in sex like most people are. Another thing is that if you cheat in the beginning of a relationship, you more than likely will keep cheating. Trust is a big deal to me. If I can't trust you, then I don't need you.

 

[Mike130]

Fair enough. Many people that cheat, may continue to. I’m just saying that not all do. Not everyone in their 20’s and 30’s are fully mature, and people evolve. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

 

[Crzyasfck]

Monogamy is tough, it's also something that many start to question openly. More and more people are engaging in open relationships as well as serious relationships with multiple partners because variety is the spice of life. Marriage is another institution that is fast becoming obsolete (imo).

 

[BiggDogg91]

Monogamy is tough, it's also something that many start to question openly. More and more people are engaging in open relationships as well as serious relationships with multiple partners because variety is the spice of life. Marriage is another institution that is fast becoming obsolete (imo).

I don't like it when people try to justify cheating.

 

[Crzyasfck]

Not trying to justify anything making a few statements in general. Cheating is a thing and will most never stop no matter how much you hate it. Good thing that we can talk about it and can get different opinions on the subject.

 

[BiggDogg91]

I'm going to say this and be done with this conversation. I see some of you think , I'm just thinking about sex. I like I said before I'm not interested in sex like most people I know. I know that there is more to an relationship than sex. What I was trying to figure out,why do men and women cheat? I have asked everyone to keep it that means keep it real, and tell the truth. So far all I have got was justified answers. Let me give you my answer to the question. Cheating is not only wrong, but it hurts people. If you say you love someone you will not do them wrong. If you love someone you will not cheat on them, and then try to justify it. Like I said before trust is a big deal when it comes to an relationship.Monogamy is not tough. People just feel like they can do whatever they wanna do. Now you know how I feel about cheating.

 

[BiggDogg91]

I don't understand. Why would it be cheating if both people in the relationship know about it and are fine with it? Who is getting cheated on?

You are justifying cheating. I don't care if both people in the relationship know about it: it's still cheating.

 

[BiggDogg91]

The title says cheating and the original post mentions it too. To me, that is something completely different than 'fun in the side' that is approved by both people in a relationship.

Some people where I'm from call cheating fun on the side.

 

[LoneMilf]

You are justifying cheating. I don't care if both people in the relationship know about it: it's still cheating.

You are clearly upset about the idea of people not being monogamous in a marriage. You call that cheating, regardless of the circumstances, but I don't think anyone else shares that definition. Maybe you should use a different word for what it is that upsets you - you might get a better discussion that way instead of just repeating the same posts over and over..

 

[BiggDogg91]

You are clearly upset about the idea of people not being monogamous in a marriage. You call that cheating, regardless of the circumstances, but I don't think anyone else shares that definition. Maybe you should use a different word for what it is that upsets you - you might get a better discussion that way instead of just repeating the same posts over and over..

You have a point

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I am going to answer with a question fir the O.P. How long have you been in a relationship? Not the present one if you are just your all time longest relationship?

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Cheating is never an option. Cheating is the start of a big problem .

why do you even pose these questions just so you can argue with people and give them sad or angry faces?
I have a female friend that absolutely regrets getting divorced. Both have struggled financially since the divorce and both now say we should have agreed to an open relationship but he couldn't do that. She even offered to do mff and he said no.
So there you have it almighty no cheating you obviously haven't lived much of life yet to be telling others how to live their lives

 

[MaturemanAJ]

The O.P. is wasting people's time with these stupid posts

 

[Nicenashguy615]

The O.P. is wasting people's time with these stupid posts

Thank you! I read through this out of boredom and all I could think about is how certain people want to climb up on their high horse and judge the behavior of others, under the guise of honest and open discussion. Clearly unable to ever fully put themselves in the shoes of those they condemn.

 

[Man4mystery]

I know it’s not ok and I am currently having an affair. Why am I doing it? My SO is an amazing woman but we are not having sex, she doesn’t want to. My affair is exciting, the sex is unreal, there isn’t any pressure, we don’t have any feelings for each other, it’s just sex

 

[BillyWalrus]

The O.P. is wasting people's time with these stupid posts

Don't be so harsh, dude. The whole fucking site is a waste of time! That's why we come here.