Cheating from a Woman's Perspective

[Seurat]

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I'll just be over here in the corner, questioning my life decisions regarding checking the boards when I am tired and should be asleep. Well played, @StillStunned , well played.

 

[Seurat]

@Seurat

The thing is, we discuss the LW one-bombers and BTB revenge porn on the AH so much, but if you look at what is actually on the LW board today (and most days) the majority of it is actually some variety of hot-wife and happy cuckold stories. They get down-voted to hell by the vocal clique, but they are actually what the board is mainly about.

Conditioning on my part, I will admit. I am a fan of both karma and a good twist, and therefore avoid the rote which prevails in many of the categories, despite how well written they may be. I usually eliminate the vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and tentacles from my EH reading list. No feet or smoking from fetish.Extreeme sadism from BDSM. Cuckold and revenge porn from LW.

I got into it once on a music board with a couple of people complaining that such-and-such station played too much from bands they didn't like and too little from bands they did like. I made that the point that most people tend to focus on the negative and avoid the happiness in the positive, since that was how we were conditioned; I may have made the same observation here. It seems obvious to me now that I am guilty of the same thing; I want to see more of what I want to read, and conversely think that there is a plethora of of topics that don't interest me. The reality doesn't reality match up when you look at the numbers.

*edit - took me another thirty seconds to realize I forgot the second part of this thought. I am now to the point where I skip all those aforementioned topics; I don't think about them, and don't even count them as being either positive or negative. I do attempt to write stories about both or, rather, stories which can explain why they occur. I think both willing and no =n-willing participants in non-monog relationships belong in LW; I just have a difficult time in finding ones that suit my taste.

As with everything out there, I think the LW description is up for interpretation. "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more." can be taken numerous ways, especially considering the 'more'.

 

[Iamredbeard]

I’m wondering what you actually want. A sympathetic FMC who makes choices that could be poor, but defensible? An FMC who is trapped in an abusive marriage and trying desperately to break free? Or a “married slut.”

LW is full of men who are bitter about the world and women in particular.

To be honest I am not sure what I want
I just know what I don't want.

I'll also add that I think @silkstockingslover does a good job telling a story from a female perspective.

 

[Iamredbeard]

My stories are mostly about swingers, and some people think even consensual situations like that are "cheating".

But my Book Club series has a few stories about wives who go to work at a local brothel on evenings when they know their husbands are cheating on them.

You might appreciate the story:

"Going Down Together" "Beware the wrath of a woman scorned."​

"Cheated Wives' Club" "Cheating husbands might be surprised how we spend our time."​

"It’s None of Your Business!" "Husband tells wife to mind her own business, and she does."​

These ones were not consensual swinger situations. And you might like the prequal story of how the club was started with:

"The Fucking Bitch!" "Treat her like a mother, fuck her like a whore!"​

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll check them out.

 

[Lifestyle66]

It seems to be the popular opinion about the stories in LW here in the AH that they're all BTB revenge porn stories.

But if you look back through other comments on posts here in the AH you'll find many of those presenting those opinions state that they don't READ the stories in LW, and some admit to never even reading any other authors' stories in any category.

I've been an avid LW reader for years before even trying to write my own first story to post on LitE. And in my experience, there are plenty of happy couple, swinger and sharing stories in Loving Wives. BUT if you only look at stories based on their numeric rating and never bother to open one rated less than 4.0, then you'll find out where the LW hater opinions get their stats. Some authors here in the AH state that they won't open a story that's less than 4.0. And IMO, they're missing many good stories by allowing themselves to be led around by their nose rings. They're selecting stories by thinking it's a quality rating, when it's more likely a triggered rating,

In LW, the happy couple in swinger and sharing marriages are mostly rated lower than 4.0, while the BTB stories are rated higher. That's not because those BTB stories are well written. It's that any man who was burned in a divorce and looking for SOMEONE to write his story would gravitate to LW as the only possible category to find what he wants. And those people are more inclined to high-5 any story which mirrors their wish of the ex-wife getting "what she deserves" (in his opinion.)

So, in LW, if you're looking for good stories without the revenge violence, look for those rated under 4.0!

 

[Ianus4]

It seems to be the popular opinion about the stories in LW here in the AH that they're all BTB revenge porn stories.

But if you look back through other comments on posts here in the AH you'll find many of those presenting those opinions state that they don't READ the stories in LW, and some admit to never even reading any other authors' stories in any category.

I've been an avid LW reader for years before even trying to write my own first story to post on LitE. And in my experience, there are plenty of happy couple, swinger and sharing stories in Loving Wives. BUT if you only look at stories based on their numeric rating and never bother to open one rated less than 4.0, then you'll find out where the LW hater opinions get their stats. Some authors here in the AH state that they won't open a story that's less than 4.0. And IMO, they're missing many good stories by allowing themselves to be led around by their nose rings. They're selecting stories by thinking it's a quality rating, when it's more likely a triggered rating,

In LW, the happy couple in swinger and sharing marriages are mostly rated lower than 4.0, while the BTB stories are rated higher. That's not because those BTB stories are well written. It's that any man who was burned in a divorce and looking for SOMEONE to write his story would gravitate to LW as the only possible category to find what he wants. And those people are more inclined to high-5 any story which mirrors their wish of the ex-wife getting "what she deserves" (in his opinion.)

So, in LW, if you're looking for good stories without the revenge violence, look for those rated under 4.0!

I’d like to make a slight clarification here. Although they’re much less common, there are still a significant number of stories that contain no revenge at all and end with a reconciliation or a simple divorce - and the better-written ones among them easily score above 4 stars. Reconciliation stories represent one of the most challenging subgenres on Lit to write, but if the audience finds them believable and well-grounded, they are very well received. Undoubtedly, BTB is the easier route, but it’s not the only subgenre that can be successful there.

 

[WCSGarland]

I am not an author so feel free to flame me or whatever, but I'd like to hear cheating stories from the wives perspective. Particularly with them justifying it.

My series - Untethered Hearts - is about a wife, bored with her husband, who finds somebody to seduce him. If you only want to read the story from her perspective, start with the second story of the series - New Wine, Old Wineskin

 

[Mustang61]

I learned a lesson in my 20s about cheating. I was engaged to a Jamaican man, who was a very dignified and beautiful soul, not perfect.. We connected as our best friends were dating and met the night...
A year or so goes by once we were engaged, I wanted to go dancing, he said he was tired and said, go with your friends... Uh oh, I ended up meeting someone who was someone I still know today, from a distance by we're in contact...

Long story short. I cheated because this guy was exciting... I was young, shouldn't have been engaged and thought I was the cat's meow!

These days.. Would I cheat? No! So many exceptions to monogamy now...

 

[RoperTrace]

Shameless self-plug, but my story What Katie Wants (and its sequels) cover a cheating wife from her perspective, and I attempted to show how and why she cheated, and then how she justified her actions to herself

Okay, but were her justifications valid? Cheaters usually make up validations just for their own minds.

 

[Lifestyle66]

There can be valid reasons for "cheating", and I've explored some of those reasons in my stories. But it depends on your definitions of cheating.

In the LW audience, any and all extra-marital sex is cheating. I refer to those types as the monogamy-only ones, who HATE all extra-marital sex.

But several of my stories were written to deliberately poke at them, trying to provide those reasons.

In "Good Answer", the FMC's mother explains how she had an affair when her husband (FMCs father) was deployed in the military, and that it was a case of two lonely spouses left behind. The mother got pregnant and didn't find out until too late to abort and long before her husband was due to return. The mother called her deployed husband and admitted to it. And she explains that the fact he came back to her was the ultimate proof of their loving marriage. It's only a small part in the middle of the story of the FMC to explain some of her behaviors.

And in "Hot-Wifing Gone Wrong", the wife grudgingly agrees to a one-time birthday present for her husband to appease his fetish, where he wants his one-and-only woman since high school to experience another man. But he doesn't want to watch her do it, and she insists that she does NOT want to or ever want him to cheat on her. They go to a swinger party where she's alone with the host and plans to tease her husband by suggesting she did the host, ... until she finds out her husband really did get a BJ from the hostess! So, she demands her husband sit and watches as she really does do the host in front of him.

And my latest stories are about a husband whose back and joint problems are interfering with their sex life, and he's worried his wife might cheat on him. The second story "A New Game Over Time - Her Story" is her first person POV of what happened at a party.

So, there are valid reasons for extra-marital sex. It's always subjective whether the reader accepts those reasons. But the monogamy-only crowd refuses to accept ANY reason for any extra-marital sex, which is why those stories tend to be down-voted in LW.

 

[Britva415]

My series - Untethered Hearts - is about a wife, bored with her husband, who finds somebody to seduce him. If you only want to read the story from her perspective, start with the second story of the series - New Wine, Old Wineskin

I had the same reaction, and was surprised to find that the thread seems to be looking for stories where the woman IS the cheater.

 

[Britva415]

were her justifications valid? Cheaters usually make up validations just for their own minds.

If we're still talking about stories from her perspective, then yeah, she's prrrobably going to find her own justifications valid. Whether her partner or anyone else does seems irrelevant to such a story.

 

[WCSGarland]

I had the same reaction, and was surprised to find that the thread seems to be looking for stories where the woman IS the cheater.

What? My series was about the wife cheating. She cheated with the woman she found to seduce her husband. Then she and her husband reconciled, then they started a menage-a-trois with the seductress.

 

[Iamredbeard]

Okay, but were her justifications valid? Cheaters usually make up validations just for their own minds.

I'll check it out.

 

[Iamredbeard]

My series - Untethered Hearts - is about a wife, bored with her husband, who finds somebody to seduce him. If you only want to read the story from her perspective, start with the second story of the series - New Wine, Old Wineskin

I'll check them out.

 

[Britva415]

What? My series was about the wife cheating.

Right. But it turns out that the thread is apparently not. I was trying to say, it seems we both thought it was.

 

[nice90sguy]

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That's a shame, because it's actually a brilliant title!

 

[BobbyBrandt]

BUT if you only look at stories based on their numeric rating and never bother to open one rated less than 4.0, then you'll find out where the LW hater opinions get their stats

The highest rated stories in the category have no sex in them, so no cheating and no revenge.

 

[Lifestyle66]

The highest rated stories in the category have no sex in them, so no cheating and no revenge.

That would further support the point the LW audience who HATES (1-bombs) stories in a category described as "swingers, sharing, and more" are opposed to extra-marital sex. They highly rate stories which do not contain such potentially non-monogamous sexual situations.

EDIT: But any story which contains sex and cheating in LW has that monogamous-only faction 1-bombing it, regardless of the quality of the writing. They are triggered by the extra-marital sex, regardless of the reasons for it. So, if you are looking for such cheating wives from the FMC POV stories, look for those in LW rated less than 4.0.

EDIT2: Look at my stories "Pavlov's Dog - 750 Words" and the longer version "Raging Hormones" (rated 2.29/862 and 3.17/553 respectively.) They are from the female POV, and the second one explains in great detail WHY she cheats. Is my writing in those so shitty as to be so low? Or are the readers triggered?

 

[BobbyBrandt]

That would further support the point the LW audience who HATES (1-bombs) stories in a category described as "swingers, sharing, and more" are opposed to extra-marital sex. They highly rate stories which do not contain such potentially non-monogamous sexual situations.

EDIT: But any story which contains sex and cheating in LW has that monogamous-only faction 1-bombing it, regardless of the quality of the writing. They are triggered by the extra-marital sex, regardless of the reasons for it. So, if you are looking for such cheating wives from the FMC POV stories, look for those in LW rated less than 4.0.

EDIT2: Look at my stories "Pavlov's Dog - 750 Words" and the longer version "Raging Hormones" (rated 2.29/862 and 3.17/553 respectively.) They are from the female POV, and the second one explains in great detail WHY she cheats. Is my writing in those so shitty as to be so low? Or are the readers triggered?

I agree with you.

I have a story in LW that is entirely monogamous sex between husband and wife over the course of twenty-eight years. Of course, the fact that they are actually husband and wife and not role-playing as two cheaters is not revealed until the end. (Well, revealed to readers with more than a sixth-grade reading comprehension level anyway)

Those who got it liked it. Those who didn't...

 

[Lifestyle66]

I agree with you.

I have a story in LW that is entirely monogamous sex between husband and wife over the course of twenty-eight years. Of course, the fact that they are actually husband and wife and not role-playing as two cheaters is not revealed until the end. (Well, revealed to readers with more than a sixth-grade reading comprehension level anyway)

Those who got it liked it. Those who didn't...

I wrote my two version of "Aftermath ..." stories to test the audience reactions.

I created the PERFECT loving monogamous wife who fulfilled all of her husband's relatively prudish sexual needs. After she's raped (forced against her will), she's changed and she can't stand the thought of how her new desires will make her husband hate her. She (before ANY extra-marital cheating) she decides she must leave him in divorce. And she's so perfect, she doesn't take anything in the divorce other than asking for a few months support to get out on her own and not be a burden on their kids.

Her new desires include being gangbanged and anal. But she doesn't do anything with anyone until after their divorce is final.

The first version of the story settled out now to 3.08/844, and the revised version (mostly her POV) at 3.05/350.

All things being equal, that would suggest they hate threesomes, GB, or anal. But it is a depressing story, so such grand assumptions can't be applied when there are other emotional triggers. NOTE: the stories do not include the rape scene, but only refer to it in the past like when she's talking to the therapist. It was my version of "the Martian Slut Ray" catalyst to force her change.

 

[TheSocalBreeder]

I recently wrote a story told from the perspective of my baby mama. It was an experience she had with her hubby.

Technically, she cheated on him to get pregnant even tho it was his idea to start but then he changed his mind right as she was getting ready to see me.

Long story short, she came out here anyways And now he is changing diapers and making bottles.

They still love each other and they love the baby they have. They justified her "cheating" because it gave them the kiddo they really wanted