Chaperones for the 2008 Prom?

[3113]

Attention, Teachers and Administrators, Attention!

We have been informed that Head Master Og is going on leave, and we've not heard back from rehab--er--from Miss Grushenka who is currently on sabbatical.

We are in need to two chaperones to this years 2008 AH Prom. If the current Head Master, any counselors, or teachers would care to volunteer to keep an eye on this zoo--er, lovely well-behaved group of students, we'd be most grateful.

And no, we won't be checking your files to see if you're fit for duty.

That is all.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I nominate myself, and my qualifications are this post on the "After prom: How far is too far?" thread.

(OK, I won't make you have to look: "How 'bout this: The boy takes the girl home when the event ends. If they like each other they have a quick smooch at her door. He goes home and goes to bed. She does the same. Separately.")

On second thought, given that this is porn site that probably disqualifies me. On the other hand I'll be on an airplane for most of those hours, so couples will have no trouble sneaking off to the dark corners together.

 

[3113]

On second thought, given that this is porn site that probably disqualifies me. On the other hand I'll be on an airplane for most of those hours, so couples will have no trouble sneaking off to the dark corners together.

No, no! You're perfect. You're just the kind of chaperone that forces students to sneak around and do naughty thing in the most unusual places

Get yourself a proper, straight-laced teacher's avatar for the prom. You can spend the evening cutting in between couples saying, "No tongue! Get your hand off that! Do that again and I'll be calling your parents," and the ever popular, "I'll see you in detention tomorrow, Mister!"

Of course, this being the AH there might be a few Prom goers who are into that and might be wanting a private session with you (especially if you put on a black leather corset)...but that's between you and them.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

No, no! You're perfect. You're just the kind of chaperone that forces students to sneak around and do naughty thing in the most unusual places

Get yourself a proper, straight-laced teacher's avatar for the prom. You can spend the evening cutting in between couples saying, "No tongue! Get your hand off that! Do that again and I'll be calling your parents," and the ever popular, "I'll see you in detention tomorrow, Mister!"

Of course, this being the AH there might be a few Prom goers who are into that and might be wanting a private session with you (especially if you put on a black leather corset)...but that's between you and them.

And you'll have to be holding a riding crop instead of some mundane paddle.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

No, no! You're perfect. You're just the kind of chaperone that forces students to sneak around and do naughty thing in the most unusual places

Get yourself a proper, straight-laced teacher's avatar for the prom. You can spend the evening cutting in between couples saying, "No tongue! Get your hand off that! Do that again and I'll be calling your parents," and the ever popular, "I'll see you in detention tomorrow, Mister!"

Damn -that does sound like my ideal of a good time!


(I still can't get around that being on an airplane during those hours, though.)

 

[mdb913]

I'll be a chaperone.

I have the maturity of a happy-face sticker and the attention span of a hair scrunchee...but I don't have a date and I like to randomly dole out punishment.

(Don't you mean detention?)

I said what I said.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Have y'all started taking applications for the coveted position of dirty old man perv hiding outside in the bushes and peeking into the girl's locker room?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[mdb913]

Have y'all started taking applications for the coveted position of dirty old man perv hiding outside in the bushes and peeking into the girl's locker room?

Rumple Foreskin

Hey, I'm only 22, but I was born to play that role!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Hey, I'm only 22, but I was born to play that role!

A star is born.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[3113]

I'll be a chaperone.

I have the maturity of a happy-face sticker and the attention span of a hair scrunchee...but I don't have a date and I like to randomly dole out punishment.

You're in! Hm. Attention span of a hair scrunchee and a dirty old man...you wouldn't happen to be the gym teacher, would you?

 

[3113]

Have y'all started taking applications for the coveted position of dirty old man perv hiding outside in the bushes and peeking into the girl's locker room?

Head Master Foreskin! I was hoping you'd show up. Will we be seeing you at the prom or just outside in the bushes?

 

[mdb913]

You're in! Hm. Attention span of a hair scrunchee and a dirty old man...you wouldn't happen to be the gym teacher, would you?

I'm not THAT pathetic.

 

[3113]

I'm not THAT pathetic.

Guidance counselor?

 

[mdb913]

Guidance counselor?

Oh, fuck OFF!

 

[Vermilion]

No-one's invited me to go as their date so I am volunteering as a, heh hem, chaperone.

I ought to warn you though, I fully intend to spend all night on the back step cadging ciggies off the students and drinking out of my hip flask. I may even seduce an innocent, depending on how drunk I get.

Do I get the job?
x
V

 

[voluptuary_manque]

No-one's invited me to go as their date so I am volunteering as a, heh hem, chaperone.

I ought to warn you though, I fully intend to spend all night on the back step cadging ciggies off the students and drinking out of my hip flask. I may even seduce an innocent, depending on how drunk I get.

Do I get the job?
x
V

You have the votes of the entire Debate Team and the defensive backfield of the football team. The offensive quarterback won't let the offense vote until you promise him a shot or two out of the flask, the spineless snatchpastry.

 

[Vermilion]

You have the votes of the entire Debate Team and the defensive backfield of the football team. The offensive quarterback won't let the offense vote until you promise him a shot or two out of the flask, the spineless snatchpastry.

You mean he didn;t drink a pint of voddie off the class bicycle's stomach before he came to the prom?
x
V

 

[jomar]

I nominate myself, and my qualifications are this post on the "After prom: How far is too far?" thread.

(OK, I won't make you have to look: "How 'bout this: The boy takes the girl home when the event ends. If they like each other they have a quick smooch at her door. He goes home and goes to bed. She does the same. Separately.")

On second thought, given that this is porn site that probably disqualifies me. On the other hand I'll be on an airplane for most of those hours, so couples will have no trouble sneaking off to the dark corners together.

No, no! You're perfect. You're just the kind of chaperone that forces students to sneak around and do naughty thing in the most unusual places

Get yourself a proper, straight-laced teacher's avatar for the prom. You can spend the evening cutting in between couples saying, "No tongue! Get your hand off that! Do that again and I'll be calling your parents," and the ever popular, "I'll see you in detention tomorrow, Mister!"

Of course, this being the AH there might be a few Prom goers who are into that and might be wanting a private session with you (especially if you put on a black leather corset)...but that's between you and them.

I'll give Roxy a Rubic's cube and we can do what we want while she spends the whole night trying to figure it out!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

You mean he didn;t drink a pint of voddie off the class bicycle's stomach before he came to the prom?
x
V

Probably, but he figures you're carrying more expensive stuff and thinks he deserves it after a record winning season. Mind you, the defense hardly ever even gets mentioned in the sports pages . . .

 

[voluptuary_manque]

See, the problem is this. He and I are only co-captains and even though I'm the brains of the team, he's better looking and really does have an outstanding arm. Thus he gets all the publicity and the alumni all figured he'd be sole captain. Unfortunately for him, I'm the one who reads the opposing offense and my Murderers Row up front and Pack of Hounds in the backfield haven't let anyone score more that 10 points in any game for the last two years. So basically, I call the shots on defense and he calls them (when he's sober) on offense.

You'd think with my Uncle Vinny owning the local airport, I'd have more pull but Unk says that since I'm going to be the first male in the Family to earn his living "straight" I have to do everything by myself so as to stay "clean". Sometimes you just can't win for losing.

 

[3113]

No-one's invited me to go as their date so I am volunteering as a, heh hem, chaperone.

I ought to warn you though, I fully intend to spend all night on the back step cadging ciggies off the students and drinking out of my hip flask. I may even seduce an innocent, depending on how drunk I get.

Do I get the job?

Miss Vermilion is in...and just what DO you teach, Miss Vermilion?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Miss Vermilion is in...and just what DO you teach, Miss Vermilion?

I dunno, but it's the most popular elective in the school...

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Head Master Foreskin! I was hoping you'd show up. Will we be seeing you at the prom or just outside in the bushes?

I'll be the one wearing a raincoat.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I dunno, but it's the most popular elective in the school...

And she's the only teacher who has no problems getting the kids to do homework.

 

[Vermilion]

Miss Vermilion is in...and just what DO you teach, Miss Vermilion?

Duh - welfare and sex ed.

I also do an after school class in elocution.
The correct positioning of tongue and lips cannot be underestimated...