LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

I told the bartender, “man, I been drinking margaritas all day and they just weren’t doing anything for me anymore. Make me a martini” I’ll tell you, that man had no idea how to make a martini. I had to walk him through the whole process and wouldn’t you know it, he made way too much and poured it all into a tall glass for me. I was like, well, okay, looks fun. And I drank it. It was easily a triple. And then the bar shut down.

Brother in law called it a night and I stagger-walked him back to his room. After dropping him off, I went to this deck overlooking the ocean and laid out on a lounger and checked out the stars and texted to Cassie a little bit. Then fell asleep. Then almost immediately woke up. Only it wasn’t almost immediately- it was two hours later. The resort lights were all out. I mean pitch fucking black. I got up, looked around all bleary eyed and started walking and walking until I fell down a short flight of stone façade stairs and face planted on the pavement. I laid there a couple minutes groaning in agony. My leg hurt like a son of a bitch. So did my head. My wrist.

I staggered up and looked around and was saying, without cursing or screaming, …”ow, that really hurt. And where is my phone?” I remembered, I left it back on the deck. I went back up the stairs to get it and was able to text Cassie again, I told her it was dark, I was lost, and fucked up my leg. It was surreal. She was concerned but, really, I was in a jam. I was still soooo drunk. After an hour of wandering around in the dark, I found my room and staggered in.

MrsT was awake and said she was wondering where I had gone off too and was just about to call. I said “I think I fucked up my leg. And Wow I am soooo glad to see you.” She said yes I had and we both spent time trying to clean it up. Picking gravel out of it, loose skin, cleaning blood. It was so bad. I had skinned the shin from knee to ankle. I carry a scar on that to this day.

Eventually she went back to bed and I just sat in the bathroom for awhile enduring the pain. We had mentioned going to the onsite medic…but at 4AM? Ugg, no way they would be there. By around 430AM, I decided to try and lay down, rest a little. Within seconds, MrsT was yelling, “c’mon get up, we’re gonna miss the bus! It leaves in 5 minutes!” It was 7AM, not the seconds later like it felt like. I groaned awake, changed my shirt, grabbed a hat and staggered out the door with her to the bus landing, leg bleeding everywhere, stinking, haven’t brushed teeth, red eyed, headache and still hammered.
 
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We were going to two separate destinations. Everyone in our group was going to the water park, except me. I was going to the Maya ruins, alone. No one was going with me that I knew. They disembarked at the water park and I sat there, still wondering, what the ever living fuck, while several people on the bus avoided looking at me. I kept thinking how I miss coffee, and ow...

We got to the parking lot leading to the ruins and the man…Idk who he was, he said "we are here, you will need your bug spray as we would be going through the jungle." I looked at my fucked up bleeding leg, and shook my head. Oh no. Blood, jungle, bugs. No way. I asked the man to buy me some bug spray. He agreed, ran off and came back shortly with this itty bitty two ounce bottle, that cost..$20. Facepalm*

I said okay okay okay, just give it to me. And what did I do? I sprayed that shit all over me, including my open wound, bleeding oozing leg. I nearly passed out with how bad that hurt. It was this citronella oil compound, so, not deet or some other fucked up chemical shit. The man then said okay, everyone grab your water bottles and lets go. I looked around, no water bottle. Fuck. And I was thirsty already. And, hungry. And I missed my coffee. And, what the fuck was I doing out here? And ow, my leg.
 
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There was this tourist trap little flea market town that was on our way to the next stage. We all wandered in and almost immediately, some 10 really short guys (I'm 6'5", these guys were maybe 5'2") dressed in old world native garb and paint surrounded me, demanding I take a picture with them. I agreed, just to shut them up and get them away from me. Their yammering was making my skull split.

They borrowed my phone, the rest surrounded me and then someone threw this big fucking boa constrictor across my shoulders. (I hate snakes, they creep me the fuck out) I was about to go full panic mode, when they all yelled really loud together in unison, and then the guy took the picture.

Someone took the snake (THANK GOD), the one guy handed me my phone and asked for…$20. I looked at him, shook my head and just gave it to him. I was so done. Then…the man, said “the buses are leaving for the ruins, get on board and lets go!” The buses, were basically long open aired golf carts. We went down this trail through the jungle, the cart bouncing all over the place, in the dirt track. My head hurt, my leg hurt. I was hungry and thirsty, it was soooooo hot and humid. I was sweating rivers of sweat. Eventually we arrived at the ruins. And, they were, ruins. Tulum, on a cliff overlooking a beach and an ocean. It was a beautiful view.

I decided well, I’m here, let’s check this shit out. And I wandered around. It was really cool. I like that stuff. It felt so really old. The heat intensified. It was easily 110F by now. I was melting, and ow, my leg. There were many many people there, all avoiding me. Lol, I’m sure I was a fright. I noticed there were many iguanas around the area. I also noticed a constant 3 or 4 of them following me around. It was kinda creepy. Maybe they smelled blood….from that huge fucking open wound that was always hurting!? Yea, Maybe.
 
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Mrtenant said:
We were going to two separate destinations. Everyone in our group was going to the water park, except me. I was going to the Maya ruins, alone. No one was going with me that I knew. They disembarked at the water park and I sat there, still wondering, what the ever living fuck, while several people on the bus avoided looking at me. I kept thinking how I miss coffee, and ow...

We got to the parking lot leading to the ruins and the man…Idk who he was, he was said "we are here, you will need your bug spray as we would be going through the jungle." I looked at my fucked up bleeding leg, and shook my head. Oh no. Blood, jungle, bugs. No way. I asked the man to buy me some bug spray. He agreed, ran off and came back shortly with this itty bitty two ounce bottle, that cost..$20. Facepalm*

I said okay okay okay, just give it to me. And what did I do? I sprayed that shit all over me, including my open wound, bleeding oozing leg. I nearly passed out with how bad that hurt. It was this citronella oil compound, so, not deet or some other fucked up chemical shit. The man then said okay, everyone grab your water bottles and lets go. I looked around, no water bottle. Fuck. And I was thirsty already. And, hungry. And I missed my coffee. And, what the fuck was I doing out here? And ow, my leg.
Click to expand...
That'll teach you to remember your water bottle darling.
But seriously... owwwwwww

Coffee?
tumblr_ni03qiWYs61s3u542o1_640.jpg
 
Mrtenant said:
I decided well, I’m here, let’s check this shit out. And I wandered around. It was really cool. I like that stuff. It felt so really old. The heat intensified. It was easily 110F by now. I was melting, and ow, my leg. There were many many people there, all avoiding me. Lol, I’m sure I was a fright. I noticed there were many iguanas around the area. I also noticed a constant 3 or 4 of them following me around. It was kinda creepy. Maybe they smelled blood….from that huge fucking open wound that always hurting!? Yea, Maybe.
Click to expand...


 
cascadiabound said:
That'll teach you to remember your water bottle darling.
But seriously... owwwwwww

Coffee?
View attachment 2205261
Click to expand...
Oh Yea, that would have made my day. But you know, it didn't even cross my mind about the water bottle. All I could deal with was this headache, and my leg, ya know. Only thing on my mind. And coffee. And you. :rose:
 
After a couple hours of wandering about, I noticed I didn’t see any of the people from my bus anywhere. I was a little alarmed and made my way back to the entrance, god it was sooo hot. Then hopped onto the next cart back to the tourist trap. Where I was promptly accosted by the picture guys again. I just looked at them in as sour a face as I could, saying nothing. They got the hint and left me alone.

I barely made it back to the big bus. I was the last one there and they were going to leave in 5 minutes. I was seriously grateful, like praying to god grateful, to have made it back in time. And ow, my leg. The bus took me to the water park and dropped me off. My phone had died. I think I was texting Cassie. The day was becoming such a blur, I couldn’t remember. What could I do?

I wandered into the place and soon, like within 30 steps of the main gate, found a bar, and happily, thirstily, ordered a beer and just chugged it. Then ordered another and half chugged it too and realized, I was buzzed all over again. Fuck. I looked down the bar and saw my brother in law. Couldn’t believe it.

I said, “Hey man, you won’t believe the shit I been going through” he grumbled about something and said his wife was a bitch and this was fucked up and then stormed off. My eyes were wide open in surprise.

I shrugged it off, turned around, sipped my beer, and then saw my sister chasing after her daughter. I hollered at her and caught up with her. Asked if she’d had any lunch. It was 2PM by now. She said they hadn’t so I went to have lunch with them. She asked if I was okay, I told her I was. And that the gory leg was really just a scratch and that we should go eat because I was starving.

I hadn't eaten anything since dinner the night before. So we did. We talked a bit about how she and her daughter went swimming with dolphins, and about me and the snake and the ruins. And then, I noticed our table soon had 6 or 8 iguanas inching forward. I got nervous about my leg and told her, ya know, “I’m gonna drop into the medic over there and get this cleaned up” So we went there.

I'd gone 12 hours like this, fucked up, head hurt, hungry, thirsty, hungover, open leg wound.
 
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At the medic, they asked me what happened. I told them I fell on a rock. They washed my leg for me and then brought out this giant bottle of green goo. The medic, very cute looking woman, scooped out a bunch and with no warning, slapped it on my leg and I yelled and almost passed out. That was sooooo intense. I looked over at my giggling sister and niece and said, “Oh my god, pain….is such a rush” they laughed harder.

The medic bandaged me up and then got out these white fishnet stockings and I wondered what she was gonna do with those. She started cutting them up and then slid a bit of it over my leg. And then said "There, Don’t you look sexy?” I just stared at it. And thought, well, fuck me, now I’m wearing a fishnet stocking. I shook my head in acceptance. She said to come back before we leave and that she would change it out for me.

And I went around the park, did some slides, swam in the lagoon, and caught up with everyone eventually. They all looked so tired. Looking like they wanted to leave. So I went back to the medic and got my leg rebandaged and then we all left. Someone phoned ahead to confirm our reservations at the resort’s “fancy” restaurant. They said they would NOT hold our reservation and that we had to be on time. We barely made it on time after rushing to our rooms and grabbing fresh shirts for the men and sundresses for the women.
 
OMG!!! I cannot believe what I just realized! My whole life I have been a GM fan. I won’t go into specifics, but lets just say there was always GM cars in the driveway. We did have some Fords… with frankly bad results. But among them was a 67 Mustang Fastback, which I loved. No mopars at all in my youth. Fast forward to modern life. The very first new vehicle I bought in my life, was a 2015 Ram Hemi 4x4 pickup. Why? Because GM did not offer anything in My price range with a proper engine. Ford was better, but not much. I bought a 400 hp 4x4, from the dealer, and it has never let me down.

So what? I get it. My life has turned to shit. Lost my job, and apparently my 35 year career with it. Why? I truly don’t know what I did wrong. And after selling off obvious to me assets, I find myself today owning a Camaro, a Cougar, and a Ram. In other words, a GM, a Ford, and a Chrysler. WTF??? I never would have guessed I would be in this situation, ever!
 
Mrtenant said:
At the medic, they asked me what happened. I told them I fell on a rock. They washed my leg for me and then brought out this giant bottle of green goo. The medic, very cute looking woman, scooped out a bunch and with no warning, slapped it on my leg and I yelled and almost passed out. That was sooooo intense. I looked over at my giggling sister and niece and said, “Oh my god, pain….is such a rush” they laughed harder.

The medic bandaged me up and then got out these white fishnet stockings and I wondered what she was gonna do with those. She started cutting them up and then slid a bit of it over my leg. And then said "There, Don’t you look sexy?” I just stared at it. And thought, well, fuck me, now I’m wearing a fishnet stocking. I shook my head in acceptance. She said to come back before we leave and that she would change it out for me.

And I went around the park, did some slides, swam in the lagoon, and caught up with everyone eventually. They all looked so tired. Looking like they wanted to leave. So I went back to the medic and got my leg rebandaged and then we all left. Someone phoned ahead to confirm our reservations at the resort’s “fancy” restaurant. They said they would NOT hold our reservation and that we had to be on time. We barely made it on time after rushing to our rooms and grabbing fresh shirts for the men and sundresses for the women.
Click to expand...
I laughed because

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/682913374526373888/1045789859136155688/unknown.png
 
We get there and the place looks great, beautiful four course dinner place settings already laid out, cheese and salad bar. And there we are stinking of the water park, hair fried but, dressed.

20 minutes later, the waiter comes and clears all the place settings at our table of 12, and brings us all water (I was grateful). Then hastily grabs the water glasses from the kids and changes them out with plastic cups. And then directs us to the cheese bar. This was getting bizarre.
 
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