Caught my man looking at gay porn

[Guest]

I caught my man jacking off to some m/m websites, but he doesnt know it. I tease him about being gay cause he checks out other guys (not sure if he's serious or joking though) I also keep telling that he's gonna leave me for another man someday. Should I be worried about this? Honestly I think I find it funny. I mean, I look at lesbian sites, so what's the big deal, right? Should I confront him about this or should i just pretend it didnt happen? I'm kind of curious as to what he'd say if i did confront him, but then again he might get mad, or be afraid to admit it.

You guys out there, what do you think? If it was you would you want to be confronted? Or should I just leave it alone?

 

[Voosla]

sorry, i must've been logged off, this was my post

 

[Cibo]

I would seriously sit down and have a talk with with him and say that you HAVE to know if he is or not.

But what if he is? What will you do then?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

tell him you found the web addy in the history and were wondering what was up with that... I mean, if you love him and he loves you, he'll be honest.. embarrassed, maybe, but honest. Tell him it's okay to have gay fantasies.. and it is.

 

[Guest]

 

[Voosla]

If he is gay, I dont know what the hell i'd do, we're getting married next month and have a kid on the way.

 

[Guest]

I can understand your concern. But, there are many people that enjoy gay porn and happen to be heterosexual. If you are truly worried about him leaving you for a man, talk to him. If he gets mad or upset, it's probably only the result of embarassment or guilt. Be supportive and gentle if you bring up the subject. If you are bothered hon, talk to him.

 

[lobito]

Are you willing to admit to him that you look at lesbian sites too? Gotta play fair if you're going to confront him on this subject.

If he does admit to liking other men, what would YOU do?

Lo

 

[sunstruck]

You'd better find out before you get married. He may be straight and just enjoys m/m fantasies. It's rare, but it could be.
Either way, better to find out now than later. Especially with a baby coming into the mix. You're going to have enough on your hands in a few months without having to worry about your husbands sexuality.

 

[Guest]

ok, this is exactly how i found this out. I found his pubic hair on the keyboard, dead give away he masturbated looking at the comp last night. I went to ampland, both of us frequent there, and i noticed that the gay link was highlighted (it wasnt last night when i went to bed) then looked at the links on that page and almost all of them had been viewed. Those were the only links that have been viewed since i cleared out everything.

But like i said, i kinda find it funny. I dont really think he's gay, I think I would've figured that out in the past 4 yrs, well i hope i would.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Obviously he's not gay. He's bisexual at the best.

You need to talk to him about before you get married and it makes you both miserable. Sexual secrets rip marriages apart.

Don't confront him. Confrontation is bad.

However, do sit down and discuss it with him. If you love him then that love also mean acceptance of what he is. If he's bi or gay, then you have to love him as bi or gay, otherwise you don't love him at all. You have to decide if that's something you can live with. What kind of fantasies he has.

Don't be accusatory or aggressive. He's going to be upset, so you'll have to maintain your cool no matter what he says.

Communication is the key to marriage and it's far better to practice it now rather than 5 years down the road when you can't handle his "secrets" anymore.

 

[Voosla]

got logged out again, sorry

 

[sunstruck]

KM is a wise woman.

 

[KillerMuffin]

You should also realize that he's probably terrified that you'll find out. He's probably terribly ashamed of his fantasies. And he's probably scared to death that you'll hate him, won't respect him, and want to leave him if you ever do find out. This is going to make him lash at you when you tell him that you did see it.

 

[Horny Hippie Girl]

I agree with KillerMuffin, too. You have to talk to him about this. This is not something that will go away on its own.

 

[lobito]

ok, this is exactly how i found this out. I found his pubic hair on the keyboard, dead give away he masturbated looking at the comp last night. I went to ampland, both of us frequent there, and i noticed that the gay link was highlighted (it wasnt last night when i went to bed) then looked at the links on that page and almost all of them had been viewed. Those were the only links that have been viewed since i cleared out everything.

But like i said, i kinda find it funny. I dont really think he's gay, I think I would've figured that out in the past 4 yrs, well i hope i would.

Well now it's getting to a point where you are admitting you didn't actually see him jerking off to it.

OK, so the circumstantial evidence is, pubic hair on the keyboard, and the gay links being viewed, NOT by you. That's means he's for sure gay.

 

[freakygirl]

My only question is..


Why is ok for you to enjoy lesbian sites and he can't enjoy gay sites?

Doesn't make a person gay.. or lesbian just because they enjoy them. Alot of people enjoy fantasies.. Incest, Bestiality, Non Consent.. etc. Doesn't make them want to have sex with a family member, an animal or go rape someone..

He could be bi.. in that case.. lot's of us are some just have a really hard time admitting it.

 

[ginslinger]

read raindancer again...

Hi... it seems no-one has mentioned bi-sexual... i am a male bi-curious, and i love my lady very much... we have been together 7 yrs., and she also is bi-curious... our sex and relationship are both great...
the best advise so far has been from RAINDANCER, perfect... good luck...

 

[ginslinger]

killermuffin also

good advise from killermuffin also...

 

[Nicodemus]

Talk to him....make sure to reassure him the you are not mad but want to understand what is going on. Look around lit, many men have bi-fantasies. This, if approached properly can herald a new openess to your relationship and may even open you up to new fantasies to be fulfilled for both of you.

 

[Calamity Jane]

So, if I get off reading the gay male stories here... and I hope someday the 3 foot no cock zone is abolished, and KM sells me a copy of the tape... does that make me a gay man?

 

[freakygirl]

So, if I get off reading the gay male stories here... and I hope someday the 3 foot no cock zone is abolished, and KM sells me a copy of the tape... does that make me a gay man?

makes me a gay man also.. wanna fuck?

 

[Calamity Jane]

makes me a gay man also.. wanna fuck?

Yes please.

 

[Guest]

My only question is..


Why is ok for you to enjoy lesbian sites and he can't enjoy gay sites?

Doesn't make a person gay.. or lesbian just because they enjoy them. Alot of people enjoy fantasies.. Incest, Bestiality, Non Consent.. etc. Doesn't make them want to have sex with a family member, an animal or go rape someone..

He could be bi.. in that case.. lot's of us are some just have a really hard time admitting it.

I never said it wasnt ok. I was saying that i do it too, he's knows i do. I just was wondering if its possibly something i should worry about, and more so, should I talk to him about it.

 

[Voosla]

I keep getting logged off. And like I said, I mostly just wanna know if I should talk to him (most of you said yes) or let it go. I think he's gonna think i'm checking up on him and get mad, which soo wasn't the case. I dont know how a guy would feel being asked about something like this.