Casual Touch

[Krinaia]

sigh... my thread on touch is being hijacked by a discussion on fashion. shame shame!!

<looks serious>

don't you know this is an important social experiment! Geez. have some respect man.

and while clothing choices may influence your touch-ability to loved ones. my original querry was about casual touch from strangers and i hope to go the average stranger isn't being motivated by cloth to touch us. if everytime they see a fuzzysweater or a scrap of silk, they reach out and touch someone... i'd call that a socially awkward fetish.

 

[Recidiva]

sigh... my thread on touch is being hijacked by a discussion on fashion. shame shame!!

<looks serious>

don't you know this is an important social experiment! Geez. have some respect man.

and while clothing choices may influence your touch-ability to loved ones. my original querry was about casual touch from strangers and i hope to go the average stranger isn't being motivated by cloth to touch us. if everytime they see a fuzzysweater or a scrap of silk, they reach out and touch someone... i'd call that a socially awkward fetish.

From my point of view it is relevant - because here I see people defining touch as an on/off switch, where for me it's a huge rainbow of choices.

I apologize for a hijack, but in my defense, it's not an on/off switch to me, and you can aversions to certain types of emotionally intended touch the same way you can have aversions or attractions to physical components of touch.

For me, something simple as not being firm enough, and I'm being tickled, and I hate that, where just a change in pressure by an ounce, and I'm fine.

And I wasn't at all influenced on my family's touching habits or culture except that I didn't like it and I developed my own.

 

[Krinaia]

I know it's relevant, i just didn't want the discussion to dissolve into a shopping comparison

but yah - hesitant touching can be as annoying as too firm of a touch.

 

[Recidiva]

I know it's relevant, i just didn't want the discussion to dissolve into a shopping comparison

but yah - hesitant touching can be as annoying as too firm of a touch.

My family tends to have people in it that are hypersensitive - my mother, myself, my son. We've all had to develop strategies to being in a world that has a level of input that can be overwhelming.

Even adapting to this is different for each person, as my mother tended to withdraw and put restrictions on what got to her. I didn't enjoy that approach, so I just tried to widen my tolerance while maintaining my sensitivity. My son is extraordinarily perceptive, and he is the sort that can only bear one exact blend of chocolate milk while spitting out all others, and wears noise-blocking earphones if we go to the movies.

So a great deal of this has to do with the fact that people's sensitivity, as well as preferences vary. Touch is one of those areas where people might have perceptions that go into zones that other people do not experience.

 

[northwoods_sub]

Sorry about the hijack, but as recidiva said, touch is such a part of who I am that I can't seem to seperate the two.
Back to touching people! I didn't mention in my previous posts that I grew up in Colorado and went to high school in Minnesota. My dads family is much for touchy feely than my moms family. I don't think it has much to do with where you lived unless it is a major cultural difference, think eastern culture versus western culture.
I do beleive that those who love to touch and be touched are connected to the need to have tactile clothes. It may be related to more of a physiological set up than an psychological one. Just a thought.

 

[Krinaia]

i've never touched someone and then felt that the actual feel of their skin or clothing was distrubing. though damp hands do ick me out a bit.

now... smell on the other hand. overstrong perfumes or detergents do get me. someone - i won't go into a more refined description - but this person smokes and the laundry detergent mingles with it and the smell actually makes me queasy. i don't like having too stand to close to her and it makes me not like to touch her.

And I'm more likely to find someone's body language visually off putting then to use any other sense to make that sort of approaching judgment about someone.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Although I agree with you about the whole handshaking thing.

Curious response, why the sad face Fung please ?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

sigh... my thread on touch is being hijacked by a discussion on fashion. shame shame!!

<looks serious>

don't you know this is an important social experiment! Geez. have some respect man.

and while clothing choices may influence your touch-ability to loved ones. my original querry was about casual touch from strangers and i hope to go the average stranger isn't being motivated by cloth to touch us. if everytime they see a fuzzysweater or a scrap of silk, they reach out and touch someone... i'd call that a socially awkward fetish.

We are a social experiment ?

 

[Recidiva]

i've never touched someone and then felt that the actual feel of their skin or clothing was distrubing. though damp hands do ick me out a bit.

now... smell on the other hand. overstrong perfumes or detergents do get me. someone - i won't go into a more refined description - but this person smokes and the laundry detergent mingles with it and the smell actually makes me queasy. i don't like having too stand to close to her and it makes me not like to touch her.

And I'm more likely to find someone's body language visually off putting then to use any other sense to make that sort of approaching judgment about someone.

Almost any amount of cologne will trigger a headache in me. I will walk around people as if there's a force field surrounding them, and I will not enter that zone.

 

[Krinaia]

We are a social experiment ?

;( yes and i'm going to make vials of vaccines in my lab and wear nothing under my lab coat but red lingerie and then i'm going to make you all line up for a shot while in my naughty scientist outfit. and a lucky winner will be selected to be tied down to my couch (think typical pysch fainting couch) and tormented while interrogated.

[that social experiment thing was meant to be a wryly given pouty jest. did i miss the mark?]

oooo i hijacked my own thread. someone beat me with a dildo

no but seriously. i'm working on some pie charts based on your answers.

 

[graceanne]

;( yes and i'm going to make vials of vaccines in my lab and wear nothing under my lab coat but red lingerie and then i'm going to make you all line up for a shot while in my naughty scientist outfit. and a lucky winner will be selected to be tied down to my couch (think typical pysch fainting couch) and tormented while interrogated.

[that social experiment thing was meant to be a wryly given pouty jest. did i miss the mark?]

oooo i hijacked my own thread. someone beat me with a dildo

no but seriously. i'm working on some pie charts based on your answers.

Are you gonna use that pear thing they were talking about in that other thread?

 

[FungiUg]

Curious response, why the sad face Fung please ?

Because they don't have a "bawling piteously" face?

 

[Rox_shybutcurious]

I don't mind the occassional hug and such, but for the most part I'm kind of uncomfortable with having acquaintences in my personal space.

I have found though with a partner I crave and actually thrive under affectionate touching.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Because they don't have a "bawling piteously" face?

Would this do http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c224/rebecca000/20.gif and yes I laughed, though I still remain somewhat in the dark for motivation !

 

[Homburg]

I could use some touch right now. Hell, I could use a rub-down. My nerves are badly frayed, and I feel like a horse that's been run too hard. =P

 

[ownedsubgal]

i'm weird and sort of divided about touching. from any female, i really really dislike to be touched...have been that way ever since i was a little kid, when a family get together would come up and all the aunties and whatnot would want to give me kisses and hugs...they always remarked at how stiff i would be and how i obviously hated it. the same thing goes for female acquaintances or friends...touching always made me uncomfortable. but for some reason i've never felt that way about being touched by a man. in fact more often than not i will feel comforted by a man's casual touch, and find it to be a natural and warm thing. whereas i stiff up like a board when a female does the same thing.

but it's important to me not to come across as cold, and most warm friendly people touch. so i make a conscious effort to hug, place an occasional hand on the arm, etc., of the females that i like. but it's never come naturally for me. i always wondered, how can you convey warmth and openness without touch?


btw i am a submissive slave.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I am a very, shy person. I generally don't want to be touched by strangers but, I love hugs! I get them all the time from strangers, mostly kids.

.

...forgot about kids. i feel the same way about being touched by kids as i do about being touched by females...very very awkward and uncomfy. plus i'm kind of a germ freak, and kids are generally germ factories. in fact i've purposely put up "don't touch me" vibes around kids when i've sensed they were about to hug or something.

 

[FungiUg]

Would this do http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c224/rebecca000/20.gif and yes I laughed, though I still remain somewhat in the dark for motivation !

That would do nicely. And I'd suggest you go back and read what you originally wrote for motivation, but you edited it.

 

[Krinaia]

i always wondered, how can you convey warmth and openness without touch?

A warm smile that reaches into your eyes and kind words. a heartfelt compliment when you meet someone never hurts.. like how you love their jewlery or how pretty their eyes are. It's hard to dislike someone who finds something about you pretty. But you have to sound like you mean it without sounding automatic when you say it.

 

[Homburg]

I could use some touch right now. Hell, I could use a rub-down. My nerves are badly frayed, and I feel like a horse that's been run too hard. =P

As a follow-up, "v" came home late that night an dI helped her get the kids up to bed. The one I got was our youngest. He's two, and was asleep. I picked him up and little man just hugged me so tight.

I just kinda stood there, thankful for my kids, and let my bad day go.

 

[ownedsubgal]

A warm smile that reaches into your eyes and kind words. a heartfelt compliment when you meet someone never hurts.. like how you love their jewlery or how pretty their eyes are. It's hard to dislike someone who finds something about you pretty. But you have to sound like you mean it without sounding automatic when you say it.

good advice, thanks much.

 

[northwoods_sub]

As a follow-up, "v" came home late that night an dI helped her get the kids up to bed. The one I got was our youngest. He's two, and was asleep. I picked him up and little man just hugged me so tight.

I just kinda stood there, thankful for my kids, and let my bad day go.

Isn't it amazing how they can do that for you. Wouldn't trade my sons for anything no matter how difficult they are sometimes.

 

[Krinaia]

good advice, thanks much.

yes but don't be overly complimentary or compliment just to compliment - people can tell and that makes them feel that you're being nice to their face so you can be mean behind their back. but a compliment paid with the right amount of enthusiasm and geninuineness and casualness is the best.