Can't Take the Pain

[be_ignited]

I've recently gone off a few medications that I had been on for about 3 years and as a result I am now ridiculously sensitive--both physically and emotionally. In some ways this is a good thing (quick, easy orgasms), and others not so much (crying at the drop of a hat).

And my pain tolerance has gone to hell.

I'm not a big masochist, but I do like certain types of pain (spankings, paddlings, hair pulling). And now I find that whereas I used to be able to take a couple hundred smacks to the ass before crying "mercy!", now I'm in tears (real, honest to goodness, rolling-down-the-cheek tears) and on the verge of calling out a safeword after less than 20. My SO is somewhat sadistic, so he enjoys inflicting this type of pain on me, and while me crying turns him on, he doesn't want to really hurt me beyond what I can take.

So my questions to all of you:

-Has anyone had this happen after switching or going off a medication (mine was tricyclic anti-depressants)? If so, how long did the heightened sensitive last? Or if any of you medical-types could explain or point me in the direction information, I'd be grateful.

-What's the best way to go about working up my pain tolerance in the mean time? I'm assuming my best bet is to go slow and take a bit more than I think I can each time, but is there anything else?


-On a less physical level:
pyls, how do you balance between wanting to take more and wanting to curl up in the fetal position? Especially if you used to be able to "take more"
I'm torn between wanting to stick it out and deal with this slowly and pushing myself back to where I was before. Patience is a virtue I'm trying hard to learn.

PYLs, how do you strike the balance between pushing your pyl too much physically and just enough? What's your reaction to a random change of ability?

 

[Netzach]

For me it's an acceptance issue. Not that I'm a major maso or sub partnered to a sado, so the loss of the periodic fun I used to have with needles poked in me or whatever is not by any means as vexing.

But it sure said "you, you are not the same person before sick as you are now." Pain meant something completely other to me. I really just have a lot of things to re-learn. Comparing you now to you then might be more maddening than just seeing yourself as fresh.

 

[be_ignited]

For me it's an acceptance issue. Not that I'm a major maso or sub partnered to a sado, so the loss of the periodic fun I used to have with needles poked in me or whatever is not by any means as vexing.

But it sure said "you, you are not the same person before sick as you are now." Pain meant something completely other to me. I really just have a lot of things to re-learn. Comparing you now to you then might be more maddening than just seeing yourself as fresh.

That's interesting.

This is something I've been dealing with for about a month now (pain tolerance was fine right up until everything was out of my system) and thus far hadn't looked at as "this is how its going to be now" as "this is a symptom of my system being off my medication completely" ( I didn't go cold turkey or anything. Went down a pill at a time over a few months under a psychiatrist's direction) as it showed up on the tail-end of a number of other symptoms occurring after I was "clean." (Sleeplessness, irritability, mild anxiety)

If this isn't something that's going away, then as you said, it's less an issue of dealing with it in the meantime and more adjusting my life accordingly. The question then is how do I know if this is a permanent sort of change? And is it better to react as if it is and then readjust if that's not the case or to "deal with it" and hold out for a set amount of time?

 

[coastal-boy]

-Has anyone had this happen after switching or going off a medication (mine was tricyclic anti-depressants)? If so, how long did the heightened sensitive last?

-What's the best way to go about working up my pain tolerance in the mean time? I'm assuming my best bet is to go slow and take a bit more than I think I can each time, but is there anything else?

It is a common side effect for many anti-depressants. Depends on the individual and the original dosage, but hyper-sensitivity could last upwards of 6 months to a year. Think of it as re-learning your limits.

Acceptance of the fact that you are hypersensitive is the first and critical step. If you beat yourself down for not being the same pain slut, you will only prolong the time til you are back to being satisfied with the experience. If you never make it back to being able to "take a couple hundred" (which is a possibility), will it destroy your pleasure? Only if you let it.

Best of luck

 

[EmpressFi]

Mine didnt change because of medication, I'm not sure why.. but I've noticed recently that my tolerance has altered. To work up to it, I've changed from thuddy pain to stingy pain and experimenting. Also, now, Master and I work up to it. This past visit, I had to ask him to wait while he was using the pinwheel on me, so he waited a moment and then started again, in another location, taking his time to let the pleasure build again.

 

[be_ignited]

It is a common side effect for many anti-depressants. Depends on the individual and the original dosage, but hyper-sensitivity could last upwards of 6 months to a year. Think of it as re-learning your limits.

Thank you. That's good to know. And a good way of looking at things, I think.

Acceptance of the fact that you are hypersensitive is the first and critical step. If you beat yourself down for not being the same pain slut, you will only prolong the time til you are back to being satisfied with the experience. If you never make it back to being able to "take a couple hundred" (which is a possibility), will it destroy your pleasure? Only if you let it.

Best of luck

Pain is something I enjoy, but has never been the be all and end all of my sex life or my BDSM experience, so I'm not absolutely devastated that I can't get back to where I was. The pressure I'm feeling is a mixture of wanting to get back there for my own enjoyment, but also because I know it's something my partner enjoys and I don't like not being able to give it to him or having to stop when it seems we've just barely started.*

I appreciate your insight. And I think I'm starting to see what my next steps need to be.



*I want to make it clear that this pressure is coming from me. He's been very understanding and has no problem moving on to another less stressful activity without ruining the mood or stopping things completely.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Best suggestion I can come up with is to take the pressure off yourself, talk to your partner about it and keep them updated on how you are feeling (week to week as opposed to just in scene), and try working it up gradually. It can be frustrating I know, and that seems to make it all the more difficult to get to where you want to be.

Catalina