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What is your point?
Hi. I don't know why I'm posting this here, but figure this place is as judgement free as it gets.
I have problems. I don't know how to make friends, talk to people, ask women out,
initiate sex with girlfriends that I have had or to just feel decent about myself.
I know what to technically do. I know to just go and talk to people or whatever. I could tell anybody what to say, how to say it and what to do, but if I try, my mind clogs up with self-hate and humiliation.
Every woman I've had has gone after me. Not only that, but all but two of them had to try for months before I felt comfortable enough to openly show any interest. Even in relationships, I can't let myself out, though they claim that I good in bed, fun to talk to and said I'm hot. I don't even know who I am.
I don't have hobbies, my only friends are my coworkers, I have no money or possessions, I'm uneducated and I'm too old for this.
I know this stems from constant and various forms of abuse from every direction as a kid, but that knowledge doesn't help.
I know that it's pretty stupid to put this here on this site, but that's what I'm doing.