Can you help my freind?

[Bs]

I told her that she should ask her question here. But she is too shy to do it so I hope if you have any questions she may chime in, here goes.....

She would like a companion. She has no clue on how to meet guys. Has two jobs. Guys from work are out the question. She doesn't drink, so the bar scene is out. Her only form of activity or hobby is her horse. But she says guys from the barn are out. I have talked too her about this till I'm blue in the face. She lives alone. With no family close by. And I live over 500 miles away. I don't know how to help her anymore. I have even suggested maybe a lady freind although she did not reject it out of hand she did say no. She has only had 1 (one) boyfriend her entire life, about 3 years ago. (and it was'nt good).

What else can I tell you? Did I mention she just doubled up on her 20's? She may never talk to me anymore, but this may help fill in some of the blanks for you she is also a VIRGIN. She thinks this is terrible and no guy would ever want her because she would'nt know what to do. When she told me I could hardly believe it myself and of course being the good samaritan I am, I did offer to help out. But, she said I was married and lived too far away and wasn't sure she wanted to have sex.

People we need to come up with some ideas for this lady.

She lives in the burbs of large metro area. (if that helps?)

Really this is serious and not......

[Edited by Bs on 02-20-2001 at 06:46 PM]

 

[His Whimsicality]

If she´s got a PC and internet at home, I´m sure that she´ll be able to find some contact sites. 2nd choice: newspaper add.

 

[BrainyBeauty]

If she were smart, she'd stick with the horse! LOL

Sorry, that isn't terribly helpful is it? Just going for the cheap joke.

Might I suggest you tell her to get involved in some civic activities if she is in a good sized city. What are her interests? You have to remind her that she has to get out and go somewhere!!! Men are not going to come to her house ringing her doorbell to meet her. She has to get out there.

Does she bowl? Tell her to sign up for a league and meet people that way. Or any other sport. Have her call the local recreation commission. They can put her in touch with other singles. Furthermore, it doesn't necessarily have to be a place to meet men. She can join a club or group with women and start making friends that way and have them introduce her to men.

How about a college alumni group? Mine offers various meet and greet sessions throughout the year. In a non-threatening, low stress atmosphere. If nothing else, she will make lots of new friends with a built-in ready-made connection.

If she doesn't want a barn boy for a stable mate , what about the vet? The horse chow supply guy? The man who delivers the hay, oats and alfalfa? Surely there is someone in her sphere to become friendly with.

On a final note, remind her that EVERYONE was a virgin at some point. We all had to go through the various insecurities and fears of becoming sexually experienced. She cannot let lack of knowledge or experience hold her back. She cannot use that fear as an excuse. If she does she will remain a virgin for far longer.

However, she shouldn't feel pressured to change that status either. She must wait till her fears are allayed. Meeting the right man- a kind, caring, gentle and patient man will help assuage her anxiety. Wish her good luck!

 

[Bs]

Bless you both, for answering! I hope she reads this and will post somthing I have given her this web address more than once and asked her to post this herself. I did forward the link after I posted it the other day.

Those suggestions were great! Thanks again!

Anyone else have some suggestions?

I'll bet she votes for the horse.
(makes me think.... does she like trees???)

 

[Ree]

Maybe she could try to broaden her horizons a little bit. Take some dance lessons, maybe a night class in something she has always wanted to learn or find a church group that offers singles groups with activities and socials. I am assuming here, and you know what happens with that but here goes nothing, the church group might be the route to go because they would have the similar values as her and it would be easier to ease into a relationship that might lead to the kind of sex she needs. Since she has remained a virgin for so long it would make since that she has a certain moral character. On a humorous note, what does it take for you to offer your sexual services???? Inquiring minds want to know.

 

[Cheyenne]

On a humorous note, what does it take for you to offer your sexual services???? Inquiring minds want to know.

I think he said he did offer to help her with her "problem" but she turned him down (silly woman!).

As for an answer, I agree with BrainyBeauty. But it is easier said than done. I can relate to the long hours of work and lack of outside activity to meet people. It sounds simple to say "get out there" but unless you really DO want to, it is easy to just not make time in your life.