Kettle Corn
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2005
- Posts
- 177
The story has been redone, go down a few posts to see
Last edited:
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Sean Renaud said:Uh, you just have a lot of work ahead of you. So much was wrong that I'm tempted to just blast you but hell my work isn't always great. Try to work on your descriptions. Everything is just way to vague and way to quickly over.
Sean Renaud said:Uh, you just have a lot of work ahead of you. So much was wrong that I'm tempted to just blast you but hell my work isn't always great. Try to work on your descriptions. Everything is just way to vague and way to quickly over.
Kettle Corn said:Well, I have totally revamped the story, and i feel this will turn into a long story. I scrapped the whole gang bang thing, and instead will focus on her journey to the man she has to do a "service" for in order to obtain freedom
Sean Renaud said:Hey I'm having a little trouble DLing from the sight, how bout you send it to me direct, doesn't matter if you send it in a file or cut and paste though or what not I should be ok. Just the site doesn't love me today. But I would be more than happy to help you out with your work.