Can somebody give me some ideas please?

[aliceinchains75]

I have recently started a d/s relationship with my Master. We do not live together and I have a partner. I have let him down quite a lot recently and am on my last warning. He has asked me to suggest ways that I can please him remotely so that I am able to make it up to him. It will probably need to be something that I can film but I'm drawing a blank because I'm panicking.

Can anyone suggest anything please?

Thanks,

Alice

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'd start with some honesty.

 

[Eilan]

Your "master" needs to stop being lazy and come up with his own punishments.

 

[VladHarkonnen]

Im confused. You have a master and a partner? Which one have you let down and how have you let them down? And I agree with Eilan...your master doesn't sound particularly masterful if he's having you devise your own punishments. For me, that would take a lot of being submissive.

 

[aliceinchains75]

I'd start with some honesty.

I came here for some genuine advice, not to be judged. You don't know my background so please don't make such rash judgements about me. But thank you for your input. I guess I'll ask elsewhere. Apologies for offending.

 

[Emerson40]

I'd start with some honesty.

I came here for some genuine advice, not to be judged. You don't know my background so please don't make such rash judgements about me. But thank you for your input. I guess I'll ask elsewhere. Apologies for offending.

Don't run off too quickly alice. That's just Lit's disgruntled and self-proclaimed jack(-off) of all and trades and master(bater) of none. He's part bigot, part misogynist, and all miserable bullshit.

He dispenses advice whether wanted or not, and most of it is neither relevant or useful.

His sole intention was to provoke you and elicit the very response you gave him. Most ignore him and several just have him on ignore. Responding to him is like giving change to the boozy bum down your street - he'll hang out like a bad smell and start tearing through your garbage bags curbside.

Just ignore him, respond to the other posters, and carry on.

Oh, and ignore his eventual response to your reply. It will probably contain some mashed-up turn of phrase - part Google-searched psycho-babble and part bitter bumpkin, the pointlessness of which will only be exceeded by its nonsensical self-righteousness.

 

[silverwhisper]

alice, there's a whole BDSM forum that might be a lot more useful to you.

ed

 

[evesdream]

I have recently started a d/s relationship with my Master. We do not live together and I have a partner. I have let him down quite a lot recently and am on my last warning. He has asked me to suggest ways that I can please him remotely so that I am able to make it up to him. It will probably need to be something that I can film but I'm drawing a blank because I'm panicking.

Can anyone suggest anything please?

Thanks,

Alice

Your lazy, immature and long-suffering Master might just be looking for reassurance that you care about his needs. Do you know what they are?

 

[aliceinchains75]

Your lazy, immature and long-suffering Master might just be looking for reassurance that you care about his needs. Do you know what they are?

Thank you to all of you who have been kind to me. I think my Master realises that conjuring up punishments for myself is hard and is therefore a punishment in itself. I don't it's laziness per se but I do take on board all of your comments and am grateful that you've taken the time to respond to my post.

 

[aliceinchains75]

Your lazy, immature and long-suffering Master might just be looking for reassurance that you care about his needs. Do you know what they are?

It's such a new relationship that I'm not sure I do entirely...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I came here for some genuine advice, not to be judged. You don't know my background so please don't make such rash judgements about me. But thank you for your input. I guess I'll ask elsewhere. Apologies for offending.

If it were me I'd take EMERSONs advice.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R3GtAnO66o

Honesty is a bitch and the real destroyer of worlds.

 

[GorgeousGeekGirl]

Ok sweetie, it sounds like you're trying to serve two masters, your Dom and your partner. Since you have been "letting him down a lot lately" to the point where you are on your last warning, it sounds like your attention is elsewhere, Dom knows it and is panicking, so he's devised this "guess a good way to punish yourself" game as a bargaining chip. I wonder, do you actually value the relationship anymore, or is this knee jerk panic at the prospect of someone dumping you. That isn't criticism, it's actually a natural response.

First thing you need to do is take time to get yourself sorted out, and tell your Dom flat out. He may very well increase the pressure and give an urgent ultgimatum. Tell him to pound sand. He's somewhere else, your far away playmate, and he needs to respect RL takes priority

Everyone wants to be a Dom beccause they want their egos stroked. However, the relationship is actually more about the sub. Because the Dom has a leadership role, that means a responsibility to look out for the well being of the sub. This is most easily explained in universal leadership rules that apply to work, sports teams, military, even family. The subs need to be given clear rules with clearly defined punishments to address violations. the purpose of punishments is not to hurt or humiliate the sub (unless you're that guy who keeps posting he wants Small Penis Humiliation, but hey- whatever works for you dude). Punishment is to correct bad behavior, and you punish the behavior, not the person. Example: "that was a stupid thing to do", not " you're stupid." After punishment, there needs to be affection, welcoming the sub back and showing the slate is now clean. Even more importantly, good behavior needs to be rewarded. For him to require that you punish yourself means he's leading you to think of yourself in a negative way. That is the opposite of what a Dom sub relationship is about. It's so that you, as a sub, can work through and release all the guilt and tensions and socially acceptable pretexts you endure in daily life, and put in trust that you will finally have nonjudgmental acceptance that is not available in everyday life.

Besides evaluating your priorities, look at your Dom. Does he look out for you? Are his expectations realistic or just fabrications to punish you? After playing with your Dom, do you come away feeling better or worse?

So short version, do you really want to keep this guy around? Has your priority shifted to your RL relationship, or could you have moved away for the need of a Dom sub relationship. If you still want a Dom, is he the right one?

 

[BertrandRussell]

I saw 'Iron Man 3' last night, and it had fighting suits that showed more initiative than your master.