Can I just say "don't do it!" without sounding judgmental?

[RavenSpirit2k4]

I just got a message via my profile on another site from a m sub who claims to be a genuine eunuch, who is now looking for a Mistress. Now, I'm normally the "whatever works for you is ok, as long as it's fully consesual" but eunuchism? Gods!

Come on, please, please, please don't let anyone do something this extreme to you. The man who contacted me is a perfect reason why - some domme had this done to him and now she's not his Mistress. Why I don't know, she could have even simply died. That happens a lot, you know, people dying. So don't assume that it will never be a problem getting another dom/me because the one you have will always be there and won't abandon you, etc. etc. If they promise they can take care of you forever, they're lying, whether they realize it or not.

That's all I've got to say. Although I'm not sure how to answer his message. I suppose I could simply ignore him, but I don't like to do that to those who aren't rude or pushy. Ignoring the decent-sounding ones discourages the possible good ones.

 

[FungiUg]

I once read an ad for a woman who had a cliterectomy, and apparently could no longer orgasm. She was out there arranging for guys to come participate in an "all holes" gang bang, with no protection (so they had to be clean... but how can you really tell?) She said she could no longer orgasm, and it was all about her being used and humiliated.

I'm sorry, but for me there's a massive thrill in the sex, including being able to make someone cum like (as I refer to it) a slut! And I like having a clit to play with!

I guess there are people out there who find mutilation a turn on, but I'd say they would be very rare.

In this case, Raven, all I can suggest is that you be open about what you can or can't be -- that you would need a "complete" man as your submissive. If he's genuine and real, then perhaps you can be chat buddies? Friends?

You know, rejection hurts me, every time. But rejecting someone is even harder. It sucks.

 

[RJMasters]

Raven

I think that whatever response you send to him, will be heartfelt and truthful.

I think communicating incompatibility is the key to responding, "in kind" to this person.

Some will laugh at this story but...

I remember when I got my wife's name tattooed on my chest, many people told me I was an idiot. What happens if you get a divorce or your wife dies, how will another woman be able to make love to you while looking at another woman's name written over your heart? These were a few of the things people said to me.

To which I calmly replied, this woman has been a good part of my life for many years. I do not know what the furture may hold good or bad, but one thing I do know, is that my wife will always have a special place in my heart and thoughts forever. Anyone who cannot understand or respect that aren't worth my time to be with in the first place.

A tat is not even close to the permancy of this guy's situation, and I agree that one should think long and hard when doing something that is unchangable. I don't know if this guy has peace about his situation, or if he regrets it now.

I hope he is at peace with the reasons why he did it, and further hope he can find another who will see this in him and accept that part about him.

"The things we do today, we must live with forever. Take care to make good descions today, so that you can be at peace with yourself tomorrow."

I would certainly echo your words of advice Raven in a heatbeat:

"Come on, please, please, please don't let anyone do something this extreme to you." I don't think this is judgemental, just sound advice based on wisdom.

 

[Learn Humility]

I just got a message via my profile on another site from a m sub who claims to be a genuine eunuch

I hope he sent you a picture, and not one with his johnson tucked between his legs, either.

Otherwise, I'd be rather, um, skeptical...

 

[Netzach]

Ever looked at the hardcore mods on BME zine?

I would say please please please please please please think think THINK long and hard before you would even consider doing this!

But if you've done the soul searching and it's the best thing for you, well, your body your kink, dude.

I'm not going to be the one with the knife though.

 

[RJMasters]

I guess there are people out there who find mutilation a turn on, but I'd say they would be very rare.

I can think of three other reasons that this guy may have done this that has nothing to do with enjoying self mutilation.

1. He hates his gender, and for him it was a painful constant reminder. Not able to afford a sex change operation, this would be an alternative choice he found acceptable.

2. He felt controlled and dominated by his own lusts which he blamed on his penus. It became such a problem he could not be the submissive he wanted to be. Therefore he was unhappy and made a choice to remove it, with the hopes to allow his submissiveness to go unhindered in the future.

3. Acceptance. Acceptance of who he is as a person rather than a sexual plaything. This may seem light, but I am sure many can identify with this on some level. Perhaps for him, the only way he could ever be sure he was loved and accepted for who he was on the inside as a person, and therefore removed any doubt.

Not saying I would agree with any of these, and I am sure there are probably other reasons as well.

I don't think pointing to this situation and give a big caution is being judgemental, however it is likely we will never understand the "why" this guy did this unless we could take the time to listen and get to know him.

It certainly would be sad if this was done for some cheap thrill or to prove something which now is no longer a relavant issue.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ever looked at the hardcore mods on BME zine?

I would say please please please please please please think think THINK long and hard before you would even consider doing this!

But if you've done the soul searching and it's the best thing for you, well, your body your kink, dude.

I'm not going to be the one with the knife though.

Have to agree. Though it may not be something we find appealing or desireable on a personal level, there are people out there for whom such body modification is part of who they are. Though a former Domme was part of the experience, it does not necessarily mean it was solely her choice or that he is now displeased with the outcome.

Catalina

 

[soapstar]

I'm having visions of an axe and a chopping block... *shudders*

 

[FungiUg]

Le Guillotine?

 

[soapstar]

There you go and take a Perfectly serious thread and make it all silly.

Which is why we all love you.

 

[RJMasters]

LOL

I must admit after reading this thread, I wanted to wear a catcher's cup for a couple of days for some reason.

 

[Quint]

RJ, those were two extremely well-put posts. (Not this most recent fluffy one...the two before that. ) I've not done anything as permanent as tattoo a name on my body, but I remember getting my senior picture taken and wearing my boyfriend's class ring. The cameraman strongly suggested I remove it before he took my picture but I refused. Although we did of course break up, he was a very strong, very positive force in my life then (and remains so now), and I would never be ashamed or regretful of that reminder. I hope that this or one of the reasons you postulated was what the man in question was thinking when he chose as he did.

Raven, I don't think you need to feel guilty. You have certain requirements in a partner which he would not be able to fill. It's like someone who is really into knifeplay being contacted by someone who freaks out at the sight of blood--just not likely to be compatible. (You can use that analogy if it makes letting him down easier!)

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

Well, I gave him a gentle turn-down with an explanation that (and others on his prfile) were not my kinks, but I offered to chat with him if he was interested.

I understand that it's possible that this could have been a choice of his. But it worries me about sub who get something this extreme and permanent done to them more to please their tops than themselves. So let me rephrase that:

Please, please, please don't let anyone do something this extreme to you if you're not absolutely certain you want it done for yourself.

 

[RJMasters]

RJ, those were two extremely well-put posts.

Thanks Quint.

Please, please, please don't let anyone do something this extreme to you if you're not absolutely certain you want it done for yourself.

Same page.

 

[TaintedB]

Well Raven, look on the bright side: at least he didn't have the cannibalism fetish and want you to cook him on a spit and then eat him!

I have a medical-type question. Being a eunuch means you don't have balls but you still have a penis. Therefore, if such a person took enough male replacement hormones and maybe a little viagra as well, he should be able to have orgasms, right?

 

[FungiUg]

After thinking about it, I realised that one of the reasons someone could be a "eunuch" (i.e. no testicles) is due to testicular cancer. Which is not as uncommon as we might like to think, and it's not at all uncommon to lose one or both testicles as a result.

So, it may not necessarily have been self-multilation.

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

After thinking about it, I realised that one of the reasons someone could be a "eunuch" (i.e. no testicles) is due to testicular cancer. Which is not as uncommon as we might like to think, and it's not at all uncommon to lose one or both testicles as a result.

So, it may not necessarily have been self-multilation.

I hadn't thought of that. But I got the impression from his message that it was a BDSM thing, although he didn't say that specifically. He hasn't answered the reply I sent, so I don't know any more than I did.

 

[SweetDommes]

After thinking about it, I realised that one of the reasons someone could be a "eunuch" (i.e. no testicles) is due to testicular cancer. Which is not as uncommon as we might like to think, and it's not at all uncommon to lose one or both testicles as a result.

So, it may not necessarily have been self-multilation.

We actually have a couple of friends who are "eunuchs" for this reason. They both take replacement hormones, and had cosmetic implants to look more normal - but techincally, they are both eunuchs ...

I would definately - if he continues to chat with you after being turned down - ask him what was the motivation behind said surgery.

 

[ethereal~minx]

I just got a message via my profile on another site from a m sub who claims to be a genuine eunuch, who is now looking for a Mistress. Now, I'm normally the "whatever works for you is ok, as long as it's fully consesual" but eunuchism? Gods!

Come on, please, please, please don't let anyone do something this extreme to you. The man who contacted me is a perfect reason why - some domme had this done to him and now she's not his Mistress. Why I don't know, she could have even simply died. That happens a lot, you know, people dying. So don't assume that it will never be a problem getting another dom/me because the one you have will always be there and won't abandon you, etc. etc. If they promise they can take care of you forever, they're lying, whether they realize it or not.

That's all I've got to say. Although I'm not sure how to answer his message. I suppose I could simply ignore him, but I don't like to do that to those who aren't rude or pushy. Ignoring the decent-sounding ones discourages the possible good ones.

a personal choice is a personal choice and we may never know what the reasoning behind it. From what I've read (which is only fiction and not much) Eunuchs sacrifice their ?virility? in service to the Great Mother ~ the Feminine Power, the Great Goddess.

I haven't read much but I'd sure like to be worshipped. I am being quip and I don't reeally mean to make light of this. I have never had such a responsibility. But it does make me wonder, do these men have as many different aspects to their psyche as women do? I've been reading about all the different Goddess archetypes in women and my gods if men have all of these too, then Raven your plea could really be necessary~ "don't do it"

 

[ethereal~minx]

my response was only a test (just teasing)~ of course men have many aspects to themselves. I'm thinking a man who sacrifices his manhood to the power of a woman/fem power has a tremendous grasp on who he is..or so that is my wish to believe.

to believe in something so completely above all else is the ultimate in submission but to do so, you must first believe in and know your own self.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Being a eunuch means you don't have balls but you still have a penis.

Not necessarily.

Click me and look at definition two.

One would think a sultan/potentate normally left the penis on his harem guardians, but you never know.