Can I get some feedback on this?

[arielsgoddess]

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=32253904#post32253904
I have trouble writing about things that are intensely personal to me, and there are alot of things connected to this that are in that category. I wuold like to out some more specifics in things like this, but I don't want to overload it; by the same token, I can't yet bring it back to the sharper points of the 5 senses any closer than this, without ME getting overloaded. Advice anyone?

 

[DVS]

This is just my 2 cents, but I think you might be asking your question in the wrong forum. There are some writers that come here and some of them write poetry, and you might get some help form one of them. But the bulk of the people that frequent this forum are probably not writers, but just kinky people.

I'm a writer, but I wouldn't have the first clue what to suggest on a poem. And if I were to suggest something, it probably wouldn't be very helpful. So, where your poems are posted is the best place to ask the question you are asking...in the poetry feedback forum.

Now don't take my word for it, because you might get someone to respond here. But, it won't be me, and probably not a lot of others that come to post here.

I've been wrong before, so I don't think it hurts to post here, just in case. And you might get some here to read your work, by doing so.

 

[Primalex]

I'm a writer, but I wouldn't have the first clue what to suggest on a poem.

I'm a writer and don't even get what she wants. I guess I need more female genes.

 

[StrayKat]

I'm a writer and don't even get what she wants. I guess I need more female genes.

I think I get what she wants but I lack the mindset to find it arousing. You pull the knife on me you better be sure you can finish me off, because if you dont it will be the last thing you ever did; genes or no genes.
I am sure the poem is good but the subject creeps me off.