Calling when you are out of town

[penguindance]

 

[fanzee1]

it doesn't sound like he's making an effort.

Women get into trouble when they don't pay attention to the difference between what a man says and what he does. Evaluate actions, not words.

Just my opinion. I wish you well, pretty.

 

[Calamity Jane]

First of all, I'm totally guilty of not calling when I'm out of town. BUT, I also never say that I will.

If he made you a promise and then didn't hold to it, then he's telling you that how you feel isn't important. He's also telling you that what he says means nothing. I don't care if it's "Honey, I'll call you when I get there" or "I'll take out the garbage when I get home" The fact is, he's throwing out words to appease you, and they mean nothing.

And if this sounds like a totally personal rant, and not an answer to your question, it probably is.

Now, about me switching teams...

 

[Purrde Flower]

Have his bags packed and in the living room when he gets home. He will get the point then.

 

[greybeard]

I'm with fanzee1..........I don't see an effort on his part..........I also sense that you have been trying harder than he at working through things but that you made up your mind a while ago, but have stayed at it for the sake of the children or whatever.........keep the patience through the holidays and then persue your owm happiness..................just my thoughts............

greybeard

 

[Rubyfruit]

Actions speak louder than words.

Pat, but true.

 

[someplace]

Actions speak louder than words.

Pat, but true.

This has been the topic of conversation in my house the last few weeks also. Interesting. WHY do guys not get this? Are they lacking a chromosome or something?

 

[greybeard]

This has been the topic of conversation in my house the last few weeks also. Interesting. WHY do guys not get this? Are they lacking a chromosome or something?

men are bums, basically..................

greybeard

 

[fanzee1]

This has been the topic of conversation in my house the last few weeks also. Interesting. WHY do guys not get this? Are they lacking a chromosome or something?

it's not a matter of not getting it. Men say things to save face. It is about foolish pride borne of always feeling the need to prove we are competent and in control.

 

[Kalyn]

Maybe it's just me, but when my husband goes out of town, and I knew that he had been next to phone, without calling, I'd be pissed. Even if things were going well, without the added strain that you are under, if he is going to be gone for a week and has a chance to call, he better be calling. Especially on a hunting trip, it's not like yoy could reach him, if something went wrong with the kids, or if they did great in school, and wanted to tell him about it, it's nice to check in with your family, a lot can happen in a week, he should have called, bottom line.

 

[greybeard]

it's not a matter of not getting it. Men say things to save face. It is about foolish pride borne of always feeling the need to prove we are competent and in control.

I'm not sure........at least in my own experience........I think men don't do well with priorities, and often don't really think of the feelings and needs of others............it seems that there is a part of a man which feels he is individually competent and doesn't need anyone else.............myself, I think that age has gone a long way toward helping me to see the folly in that......................

greybeard

 

[huskie]

I think you had better start keeping a written log. You will need it in court.

 

[Olivianna]

PLS,
Have faith in your instincts. It seems that you know exactly where this relationship is heading. Be proactive and instigate change.

 

[DarkAngel]

You mean, you should call the person yu are with when you are away?

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Did you ask his friends wife why her husband called?

Here's what I think. Your husband's friend shot an eight point buck and was calling home to make sure his wife had the sausage making equipment out and ready to use. When your husband shoots his deer you'll hear from him. Just hope he doesn't bag a doe.

 

[Rambrat]

I think you should get even by having sex with someone else!

 

[Calamity Jane]

Did you ask his friends wife why her husband called?

Here's what I think. Your husband's friend shot an eight point buck and was calling home to make sure his wife had the sausage making equipment out and ready to use. When your husband shoots his deer you'll hear from him. Just hope he doesn't bag a doe.

Have the sausage making equipment ready when he gets home anyway. GREAT way to dispose of his body...

 

[CoolidgEffect]

I've heard the chipper works pretty good too.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

I think you should get even by having sex with someone else!

you are such a slut.....

 

[greybeard]

smokie links..............

Have the sausage making equipment ready when he gets home anyway. GREAT way to dispose of his body...

makes a great Christmas present..................

greybeard

 

[brokenbrainwave]

Re: smokie links..............

makes a great Christmas present..................

greybeard

I hear it is Ronco's hottest item

 

[Rambrat]

you are such a slut.....

I prefer to be called easy...

 

[Calamity Jane]

I've heard the chipper works pretty good too.

Only if you freeze the body first. Otherwise, it's just too messy.

 

[islandman]

That last nail in the coffin is often the most painful. I've never done anything as hard in my life and I hope to god I never have to again.

 

[The Heretic]

I have a rule: if you say you are going to do something, then do it - especially if you know it is important to someone. Phone calls are usually important to women.

At the same time, if he hadn't said anything about calling, I wouldn't make any big deal out of it. I still wouldn't; you should base your decisions not on a relatively minor incident such as this, but on the whole of your marriage. In short, I would add the incident to the negatives tally, but I would not give it more weight than it deserves. It does show a tendency towards being inconsiderate (or at best forgetful), but I wouldn't make it into a straw that broke the camel's back incident.

Also, there are a number of reasons he might not call. Just because his partner called it doesn't mean that he was with his partner when he called; I have stayed at hunting camps where some hunters stayed at the camp and hunted while other's went into town.

Finally, it is important to understand the male mind; we often go off and do things to clear our heads, so we can comeback to life's problems with a fresh perspective. Your husband sounds like he is trying to do just that. Men tend to be able to just put things out of their minds so they can concentrate on the task at hand - otherwise we would be thinking about sex all the time and get our fingers cutoff in a bandsaw.

So maybe you might want to cut him a little slack and not light into him the second he steps through the door. Find out first if he maybe took this time out hunting to clear his mind and maybe he has a fresh and agreeable outlook on your marriage before you pack his bags for not calling you as he promised. He may have been inconsiderate in not calling, but he may have been trying to sort out how he can make your marriage work - and yes, he may have been doing that by putting it out of his mind for a while.

Just my humble advice.