calling all transgendered

[Gi_Venus]

I started to transition 10 years ago. It was derailed when I was arrested for using the women's restroom while crossdressed. I spent a year in jail and was sentanced to five years of aversion therapy. The experience has left me somewhat scarred and battered.

I don't dress anymore, haven't been back to therapy and find that denial is a powerful ally. At this point, I'm just another straight guy with a weird past. I smoke too much, drink too much and engage in heavily masculine persuits, but it's still there... that feeling, that knowledge that this is all wrong somehow. I do my best to keep it burried, hopefully it will just go away, unlikely, but I can still dream, no?

Be careful out there.

((((StrixVaria)))) What a horrible experience. The reality of such things have me conitnueing to dress as a male. Dressing is a once and a while thing done in privacy. It really is not fair that we cannot be who we are. I tried the denial route for years...did not work for me.
Now I quietly move towards who I am.
Much love and healing to you StrixVaria.
Gianna

 

[StrixVaria]

Thanks Venus, but, what is in the past is in the past. Just, please be careful out there.

What happened to me is the least of what lies in wait for the unwary.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Thanks Venus, but, what is in the past is in the past. Just, please be careful out there.

What happened to me is the least of what lies in wait for the unwary.

I know, I have read enough and talked to enough people that I am scared. Fear is one of the things my therapist encourages. Thanks for your cautionary words.

 

[QueenPentacles]

New to these parts

Good evening all,
I'm M2F TS/TG which ever term you prefer, preop. I'm 40 years young, in the San Fransico Bay area (CA). Living with my partner (Bifemale) of 5 years with our 2 children. I've been out for 15 years and living full time for alittle over 13 years. I hear a lot of commonality with my own history with the posts I've read here so I won't bore you with my shtuff for now, unless asked. Working towards surgery, was cleared for it and had the money once upon a time, but then met my partner. She enjoys me as I curently am, and we wanted children so the surgery was put off.
I've always wanted children, it was my first indication at the age of 5 that something was different about me. My mom was pregnant with my youngest brother and I asked where babies came from, being a nurse she gave me the honest medical answer and I knew from that moment on that I was supposed to have been able to carry children and that their had been a mistake.
Since we've not come that far medically yet my partner agreed to carry them. (though towards the end of each pregnancy when feet were very swollen, her internal thermometer was stoked to 100 degrees, and she had to pee every 2 minutes - she'd get cross and wish the medically society had made it possible). Now that they're here and healthy I'll start working towards surgery again.
That about it for now I think, glad to meet you all. Hope you all are having a good night!

Queen of Pentacles

 

[Gi_Venus]

Good evening all,
I'm M2F TS/TG which ever term you prefer, preop. I'm 40 years young, in the San Fransico Bay area (CA). Living with my partner (Bifemale) of 5 years with our 2 children. I've been out for 15 years and living full time for alittle over 13 years. I hear a lot of commonality with my own history with the posts I've read here so I won't bore you with my shtuff for now, unless asked. Working towards surgery, was cleared for it and had the money once upon a time, but then met my partner. She enjoys me as I curently am, and we wanted children so the surgery was put off.
I've always wanted children, it was my first indication at the age of 5 that something was different about me. My mom was pregnant with my youngest brother and I asked where babies came from, being a nurse she gave me the honest medical answer and I knew from that moment on that I was supposed to have been able to carry children and that their had been a mistake.
Since we've not come that far medically yet my partner agreed to carry them. (though towards the end of each pregnancy when feet were very swollen, her internal thermometer was stoked to 100 degrees, and she had to pee every 2 minutes - she'd get cross and wish the medically society had made it possible). Now that they're here and healthy I'll start working towards surgery again.
That about it for now I think, glad to meet you all. Hope you all are having a good night!

Queen of Pentacles

Welcome ((((Queen of Pentacles)))) Thank you for sharing with us Queen. I always had feelings of wanting to breast feed babies...laughing...at the time it freaked me out because I still viewed myself as a male. Helping to raise a baby and the process of raising a child really affirmed my nature to myself and peeled away denial. I have learned to be more nurturing and postive in my enivornment too. Do drop by again, and I for one would love to hear your stories.
Gianna

 

[Tymeless]

glad to meet you here!

 

[QueenPentacles]

Thanks for the welcome

Hello again,
Thanks for the warm welcome. I too wanted to help breast feed and we actually looked into this, because it is possible with the right hormone mixture (according to my doctors). We had some difficult pregnancies and both of our little ones had to be delivered by C-section, and because of my partners medical history meant heavy sedation (she is very resistant to meds for some reason). So the problem I was told would be that I wouldn't be able to produce enough milk to sustain the baby, and because of the meds in her system she wouldn't be able to feed them for 72 hours. Long story short we bottle fed with both which allowed both of us to feed. Ones now 17 months and the other is 5 months and both are thriving, hehehe so we must be doing something right.
Anyways thanks again for the welcome. I hope to see you all around, would love to talk with you all.

Queen of Pentacles

 

[PreggoHottie]

Just popping in to say HI to my honey, QueenPentacles. Don't let her title fool you, she's FAR FAR FAR...(we're talking lightyears here people) from a "Virgin"

(Just trying to earn my spankin' honey!)

 

[Gi_Venus]

Just popping in to say HI to my honey, QueenPentacles. Don't let her title fool you, she's FAR FAR FAR...(we're talking lightyears here people) from a "Virgin"

(Just trying to earn my spankin' honey!)

((((PreggoHottie)))) Nice to meet you. *smile* I hope you and your honey become regulars.... Do drop in at the GLBT Vibe...a lot of nice people there. But we will love you here as well. I am envious of the little ones....mine is growing up and his mother does not want another...sigh! He is still sweet at six. Oh by the way....grin..I am far from a virgin as well..... shhhhh! don't tell anyone.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Hello again,
Thanks for the warm welcome. I too wanted to help breast feed and we actually looked into this, because it is possible with the right hormone mixture (according to my doctors). We had some difficult pregnancies and both of our little ones had to be delivered by C-section, and because of my partners medical history meant heavy sedation (she is very resistant to meds for some reason). So the problem I was told would be that I wouldn't be able to produce enough milk to sustain the baby, and because of the meds in her system she wouldn't be able to feed them for 72 hours. Long story short we bottle fed with both which allowed both of us to feed. Ones now 17 months and the other is 5 months and both are thriving, hehehe so we must be doing something right.
Anyways thanks again for the welcome. I hope to see you all around, would love to talk with you all.

Queen of Pentacles

Grin.....gotta love the babies...ours was delivered by c-section too... did not want to go throuigh the birth canal so we opted for a ceasarian for his healths sake. He was so alert, trying to look around at the new world he found himself in....when he started to fuss I sang to him.....he recognized my voice for I used to sing to him while he was inside his mother.....he calmed right down and tried to see my face.......laughing...I was hooked for life in that moment. Mom number two at his service. His mother breast fed him for a couple of years....and pumped when she had to work, I fed him from the pumped milk.

 

[QueenPentacles]

Opps - okay i can't add

Opps was just re-reading my last and realized I made a math error - #1 son 2 years 5 months, #2 son 5 months. Hi to my Honey - nice to see you pop by

Queen of Pentacles

 

[nici]

Gender: Female
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual (A three on the Kinsey Scale.)
Age: 29
Occupation: Social Services and Mental Health (I work in social service areas involving, amongst others, many varying gay, lesbian and transgendered/transsexual support groups.)

The problems with hair growth and emotional flightiness stems from the fact that you in gender reassignment therapy are taking up to 250 times a normal hormonal doses. So long that your body produced hormones and the induced hormones battle, your whole body system is in an imbalanced state. Your health is in irrevocable danger. That is why it is so important, you be under professional care, and not try attempting to change on your own. Once your hormonal system is balanced, hair growth and emotional stability will return to “a normal state”, not where it was before, but its new stability.

The most important step in your transition is your diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria. Just think of the doctor’s moral obligations and consequences. Doctors are inducing dangerous changes to your body and system. These dangers need to be evaluated as being less than the dangers of maintaining your body and gender as is. With that diagnosis, doors will open to you that were closed before.

You also need to realize that GRS/SRS is only coping and making the best of the bad situation you were born in. Modern medicine cannot change your body completely to your true gender. It can only make coping with your physical self easier. Though the vast majority of transsexuals wish (at some time or other) for full GRS, snowy ciara’s friend’s choice is a very logical and healthy choice. You can never fully transition physically from one gender to the other. However, do you need to? Is there somewhere between, where you can find your true and real self? Even though you lived your life up to this point in the wrong body, you learned to cope, and even like certain aspects of your body, and your present lifestyle.

Before you ever step into a psychologist’s office, you need to be asking yourself a lot of questions pertaining to exactly what you do want from your life, and examine how realistically you can accomplish those goals.

So long, you have “the transitionary goal” as a fantasy, a goal, or a dream you have hope. However, when that dream comes true, and reality is far less than your expectations, where will that put you? Can you cope with that reality?

Find the things you like about yourself and keep them. They are important. Change whatever you can change until you find your own personal balance. Don’t look towards fulfilling any norms, make your own norms. Each of you is unique, even amongst transsexuals.

 

[Tymeless]

Gender: Female
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual (A three on the Kinsey Scale.)
Age: 29
Occupation: Social Services and Mental Health (I work in social service areas involving, amongst others, many varying gay, lesbian and transgendered/transsexual support groups.)

The problems with hair growth and emotional flightiness stems from the fact that you in gender reassignment therapy are taking up to 250 times a normal hormonal doses. So long that your body produced hormones and the induced hormones battle, your whole body system is in an imbalanced state. Your health is in irrevocable danger. That is why it is so important, you be under professional care, and not try attempting to change on your own. Once your hormonal system is balanced, hair growth and emotional stability will return to “a normal state”, not where it was before, but its new stability.

The most important step in your transition is your diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria. Just think of the doctor’s moral obligations and consequences. Doctors are inducing dangerous changes to your body and system. These dangers need to be evaluated as being less than the dangers of maintaining your body and gender as is. With that diagnosis, doors will open to you that were closed before.

You also need to realize that GRS/SRS is only coping and making the best of the bad situation you were born in. Modern medicine cannot change your body completely to your true gender. It can only make coping with your physical self easier. Though the vast majority of transsexuals wish (at some time or other) for full GRS, snowy ciara’s friend’s choice is a very logical and healthy choice. You can never fully transition physically from one gender to the other. However, do you need to? Is there somewhere between, where you can find your true and real self? Even though you lived your life up to this point in the wrong body, you learned to cope, and even like certain aspects of your body, and your present lifestyle.

Before you ever step into a psychologist’s office, you need to be asking yourself a lot of questions pertaining to exactly what you do want from your life, and examine how realistically you can accomplish those goals.

So long, you have “the transitionary goal” as a fantasy, a goal, or a dream you have hope. However, when that dream comes true, and reality is far less than your expectations, where will that put you? Can you cope with that reality?

Find the things you like about yourself and keep them. They are important. Change whatever you can change until you find your own personal balance. Don’t look towards fulfilling any norms, make your own norms. Each of you is unique, even amongst transsexuals.

thanks for the thoughtfulness and well thought out response *hugs*

 

[Gi_Venus]

Gender: Female
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual (A three on the Kinsey Scale.)
Age: 29
Occupation: Social Services and Mental Health (I work in social service areas involving, amongst others, many varying gay, lesbian and transgendered/transsexual support groups.)

The problems with hair growth and emotional flightiness stems from the fact that you in gender reassignment therapy are taking up to 250 times a normal hormonal doses. So long that your body produced hormones and the induced hormones battle, your whole body system is in an imbalanced state. Your health is in irrevocable danger. That is why it is so important, you be under professional care, and not try attempting to change on your own. Once your hormonal system is balanced, hair growth and emotional stability will return to “a normal state”, not where it was before, but its new stability.

The most important step in your transition is your diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria. Just think of the doctor’s moral obligations and consequences. Doctors are inducing dangerous changes to your body and system. These dangers need to be evaluated as being less than the dangers of maintaining your body and gender as is. With that diagnosis, doors will open to you that were closed before.

You also need to realize that GRS/SRS is only coping and making the best of the bad situation you were born in. Modern medicine cannot change your body completely to your true gender. It can only make coping with your physical self easier. Though the vast majority of transsexuals wish (at some time or other) for full GRS, snowy ciara’s friend’s choice is a very logical and healthy choice. You can never fully transition physically from one gender to the other. However, do you need to? Is there somewhere between, where you can find your true and real self? Even though you lived your life up to this point in the wrong body, you learned to cope, and even like certain aspects of your body, and your present lifestyle.

Before you ever step into a psychologist’s office, you need to be asking yourself a lot of questions pertaining to exactly what you do want from your life, and examine how realistically you can accomplish those goals.

So long, you have “the transitionary goal” as a fantasy, a goal, or a dream you have hope. However, when that dream comes true, and reality is far less than your expectations, where will that put you? Can you cope with that reality?

Find the things you like about yourself and keep them. They are important. Change whatever you can change until you find your own personal balance. Don’t look towards fulfilling any norms, make your own norms. Each of you is unique, even amongst transsexuals.

Thanks nici Nice to meet you. The most important change is that which is inside your head, learning to accept yourself. My therapist is keen on that....it is not the physical body or how you look...but the quieting of the internal chaos provoked by sexual dysphoria and such. Grin...and yes I am moody as hell. One of my particular problems is my codependency with others...especially my family. I am not finding it easy to assert my true personality but I am doing it....finally.. Rewriting the page applies to all of us...transgendered or not....it really is up to each one of us to write our page.

 

[nici]

Thanks nici Nice to meet you. The most important change is that which is inside your head, learning to accept yourself. My therapist is keen on that....it is not the physical body or how you look...but the quieting of the internal chaos provoked by sexual dysphoria and such. Grin...and yes I am moody as hell. One of my particular problems is my codependency with others...especially my family. I am not finding it easy to assert my true personality but I am doing it....finally.. Rewriting the page applies to all of us...transgendered or not....it really is up to each one of us to write our page.

Nomenclature:

Sexual Dysphoria: Homosexuality, Transgenderism (including cross-dressing, drag, gender role-play,transvestitic fetishism and Autogynephilia), omnisexuality, or pansexuality, etc.

Gender Dysphoria: A condition where the person truly is at odds with their mental gender and their physical gender. This Identity feeling goes beyond any form of sexual role-play or sexuality and encompasses all aspects of everyday living.

The key differentiating word is “Identity”. GID or Gender Identity Disorder is DSM-IV-TR classified and accepted. (Gender Identity Disorder in Adolescents or Adults) The Benjamin's Gender Identity Scale was once used; nowadays there is other, more complex, metodolgies used to assess the extent of dysphoria.

Benjamin's Gender Identity Scale
1.1 Type One: Pseudo Transvestite
1.2 Type Two: Fetishistic Transvestism
1.3 Type Three: True Transvestism
1.4 Type Four: Non-op Transsexual
1.5 Type Five: True or Core Transsexual (with gender dysphoria of moderate intensity)
1.6 Type Six: True or Core Transsexual (with gender dysphoria of high intensity)

Sexual Dysphoria is a sexual disorder, also a deviation from the heterosexual norm.

Gender Dysphoria is an identity disorder, and sexual deviations are not even a part of the equation.

The DSM-III and DSM-IV classified them together and this was wrong! We all have our own sexual deviations, and they have only “in part” to do with our gender identity. Sexual Dysphoria is an orange. Gender Dysphoria is an apple.

The DSM-IV-TR expressly excludes sexual orientation from the evaluation of Gender Dysphoria. This differentiation between Transvestitism and Transsexualism is why you have to live (at least) one full year in RLT-Real Life Training (living fully in the other gender) before GRS.

You should not feel alienated or hurt by the technical usage and classification “Disorder”. Only because of this classification (as a real disorder) is the medical community then able to step in and do something about your condition. Otherwise, GRS would be impossible and highly illegal. The whole concept is that your physical condition is the cause of your Identity Disorder. Changing you physically (as much as possible) is the cure.

I know it would be nice to say that whom we are "on the outside" is not going to change who we are on the inside. But, that's not true is it?

Reflexively, I feel that we consist of two parts, that who we are born (intuitive self) and that who we become (cognitive self), our learned experiences. The concept, “I was born physically with the wrong gender, “ fits only to a certain extent. You are not the same person now that you were when you were born. You have changed and adapted considerably. Gender Dysphoria means that you have reached the extent that you can mentally adapt to your environment and that is not enough. How much physical adaptation is needed, is in each individual case different.

Therefore, it is very, very important first to learn to be happy with what you are, before changing into someone unknown. Categorize your being and your lifestyle into good and bad. Evaluate what needs to be done to keep the good, and what needs to be done to change the bad to good. Evaluate the cost of changing bad to good. Will change cost you something on your value list, something of more value?

Some of you have already gone through parts of gender reassignment, and all of this is nothing new. For those who have not, you have a long way ahead of you, and though it hurts waiting, making you wonder why it must take so long, think of how much it would hurt if you could quickly pass through all and then find out it was all a mistake. A mistake that now cannot be reversed.

Each of us went through adolescents once. You get to go through it twice. Find yourself a therapist trained and knowledgeable in dealing with transsexualism and trust them. Sometimes emotions cloud our judgments. A second person often sees what we do not. Fantasy and desire often seem so simple, but reality is very complex.

LOL and transsexualism isn't even my normal work area! I work with children and their parents or adults who as children suffered through abuse and neglect. I work in trauma cases.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Nomenclature:

Sexual Dysphoria: Homosexuality, Transgenderism (including cross-dressing, drag, gender role-play,transvestitic fetishism and Autogynephilia), omnisexuality, or pansexuality, etc.

Gender Dysphoria: A condition where the person truly is at odds with their mental gender and their physical gender. This Identity feeling goes beyond any form of sexual role-play or sexuality and encompasses all aspects of everyday living.

The key differentiating word is “Identity”. GID or Gender Identity Disorder is DSM-IV-TR classified and accepted. (Gender Identity Disorder in Adolescents or Adults) The Benjamin's Gender Identity Scale was once used; nowadays there is other, more complex, metodolgies used to assess the extent of dysphoria.

Benjamin's Gender Identity Scale
1.1 Type One: Pseudo Transvestite
1.2 Type Two: Fetishistic Transvestism
1.3 Type Three: True Transvestism
1.4 Type Four: Non-op Transsexual
1.5 Type Five: True or Core Transsexual (with gender dysphoria of moderate intensity)
1.6 Type Six: True or Core Transsexual (with gender dysphoria of high intensity)

Sexual Dysphoria is a sexual disorder, also a deviation from the heterosexual norm.

Gender Dysphoria is an identity disorder, and sexual deviations are not even a part of the equation.

The DSM-III and DSM-IV classified them together and this was wrong! We all have our own sexual deviations, and they have only “in part” to do with our gender identity. Sexual Dysphoria is an orange. Gender Dysphoria is an apple.

The DSM-IV-TR expressly excludes sexual orientation from the evaluation of Gender Dysphoria. This differentiation between Transvestitism and Transsexualism is why you have to live (at least) one full year in RLT-Real Life Training (living fully in the other gender) before GRS.

You should not feel alienated or hurt by the technical usage and classification “Disorder”. Only because of this classification (as a real disorder) is the medical community then able to step in and do something about your condition. Otherwise, GRS would be impossible and highly illegal. The whole concept is that your physical condition is the cause of your Identity Disorder. Changing you physically (as much as possible) is the cure.

I know it would be nice to say that whom we are "on the outside" is not going to change who we are on the inside. But, that's not true is it?

Reflexively, I feel that we consist of two parts, that who we are born (intuitive self) and that who we become (cognitive self), our learned experiences. The concept, “I was born physically with the wrong gender, “ fits only to a certain extent. You are not the same person now that you were when you were born. You have changed and adapted considerably. Gender Dysphoria means that you have reached the extent that you can mentally adapt to your environment and that is not enough. How much physical adaptation is needed, is in each individual case different.

Therefore, it is very, very important first to learn to be happy with what you are, before changing into someone unknown. Categorize your being and your lifestyle into good and bad. Evaluate what needs to be done to keep the good, and what needs to be done to change the bad to good. Evaluate the cost of changing bad to good. Will change cost you something on your value list, something of more value?

Some of you have already gone through parts of gender reassignment, and all of this is nothing new. For those who have not, you have a long way ahead of you, and though it hurts waiting, making you wonder why it must take so long, think of how much it would hurt if you could quickly pass through all and then find out it was all a mistake. A mistake that now cannot be reversed.

Each of us went through adolescents once. You get to go through it twice. Find yourself a therapist trained and knowledgeable in dealing with transsexualism and trust them. Sometimes emotions cloud our judgments. A second person often sees what we do not. Fantasy and desire often seem so simple, but reality is very complex.

laughing...... being adolescent was so fun the first time around. I did not believe my therapist at first as he went through a list of things I would experience, I thought that mentally I had already made changes.....but every single thing he predicted has happened within me....I believe in him now. As far as reality is....what is it anyway? Reality is a perception of our thoughts and experiences that we project upon the world. Because we are conditioned from birth to accept this or that...and make our own interpretations it is rarely an accurate view. We use definitions to create stasis for our comfort and so that we might communicate with each other.....everything is changing and fluid.....grin....I am not so fluid.
The reality is that we transgendered have to live in a culture where we are unaccepted or outcast, the reality is that we have to be self actualized in order to survive. We have to deal with other's realities and so must be able to adapt and take that into account. If we become lost in our own reality we will fail.
laughing...I guess, I could have said, I agree with you.

LOL and transsexualism isn't even my normal work area! I work with children and their parents or adults who as children suffered through abuse and neglect. I work in trauma cases.

Thank you Nicole Oh it would tear me up to do the work you do. I do not have enough detachment. Grin....I have my own childhood demons I work through....because they do not go away...sigh! But they do have less influence on me and are of shorter duration. I had a good therapist that helped me through most of it....at least I have the coping skills now.
Sounds as if you would be good in the Transgender area.

 

[QueenPentacles]

Kansas bound

Hello all - Okay wow on recent topic thread... very indepth, enjoying very much. I have some comments but am short of time right now and don't want to rush my thoughts.
I have a question for the group, anyone in the Wichita Kansas area, that could maybe turn me onto a good therapist that deals with TG issues? My family and I are getting ready to relocate to that area in the middle of April and I'd like to be able to have some info if it's out there. Been searching the web for everything else, homes, jobs, etc... and this post got me to remembering that I've other things to get in order too.
Thanks for any help in advance!

Queen of Pentacles

 

[lincspoacher]

as subject

Hi Tymeless,

May I join this thread ?

I'm not TG .. I'm just an ordinary sort of bloke .. but I'm a long term supporter of TG issues and have dated a number of TG women ..(I'm currently in a relationship) with a Pre-Op lady).

BTW ... I really dislike the term "Admirer" because of its sleazy connotations (and it certainly doesn't describe me accurately) .. but can well appreciate the mistrust with which TG women view most men (until they get to know them better).

Keep up the good work,

Best wishes,

Poacher.

 

[Tymeless]

your welcome to join us!

 

[Gi_Venus]

Hi Tymeless,

May I join this thread ?

I'm not TG .. I'm just an ordinary sort of bloke .. but I'm a long term supporter of TG issues and have dated a number of TG women ..(I'm currently in a relationship) with a Pre-Op lady).

BTW ... I really dislike the term "Admirer" because of its sleazy connotations (and it certainly doesn't describe me accurately) .. but can well appreciate the mistrust with which TG women view most men (until they get to know them better).

Keep up the good work,

Best wishes,

Poacher.

Nice to meet you Poacher

 

[Wolfman1982]

hmmm I have been for the equal rights when it comes to the whole GLBT section of the world. After I found out, that my first love, long time ago was a lesbian. That is why I fight with tooth and claw about equal rights, no matter gender, sexuality and the likes.

 

[lincspoacher]

as subject

Thank you Ladies .. it's both a pleasure and an honour to be involved.

Best wishes.

Poacher ...

 

[Tymeless]

glad your here for sure poacher!

 

[QueenPentacles]

Welcome to the new folks Glad to have friendly different perspectives. I think hearging from people that have been in or are in relationships with Trans folk may give many of us boosts in how we perceive ourselves. I know I have a tendancy to be very hard on myself. Even after 5 years with my partner I find myself wondering from time to time, what does she see in me, why or how could she love me as I am. Those moments pass, and have become fewer over the years, but their still apart of who I am directly related to my being trans.

Just my 2 cents.

Queen of Pentacles

 

[Gi_Venus]

Welcome to the new folks Glad to have friendly different perspectives. I think hearging from people that have been in or are in relationships with Trans folk may give many of us boosts in how we perceive ourselves. I know I have a tendancy to be very hard on myself. Even after 5 years with my partner I find myself wondering from time to time, what does she see in me, why or how could she love me as I am. Those moments pass, and have become fewer over the years, but their still apart of who I am directly related to my being trans.

Just my 2 cents.

Queen of Pentacles

((((Queen)))) Smile...it is important for people to love us as we are. I hope to be one of those that shares a positive story. I have found friendship online to be a steadying influence on me with certain people loving me unconditionally for being just me, it helps me to be more assertive in my nature..... Non cyber life has been better too as I share with more people.
Gianna