How do you get a guy to commit? I have been dating a guy for almost two years and i cannot get him to share how he feel about me that often, or get him to promise me anything. So what needs to be done? PLease let me and all the other ladies out there know what we have to do.
calling all mature guys
- Thread starter disel81
- Start date
No easy answers to that question.
Can the guy commit comes to mind?
What kind of promises are you looking for?
If he does not or can not share how he feels about you he could be shy or he might be concerned that he won't meet your expectation and does not want to risk ending the relationship.
I think if you have truly found the right guy, commitment will come naturally. Be yourself, be honest, communicate your needs, and if it is going to happen...it will. If you force a commitment you may well regret it later.
Can the guy commit comes to mind?
What kind of promises are you looking for?
If he does not or can not share how he feels about you he could be shy or he might be concerned that he won't meet your expectation and does not want to risk ending the relationship.
I think if you have truly found the right guy, commitment will come naturally. Be yourself, be honest, communicate your needs, and if it is going to happen...it will. If you force a commitment you may well regret it later.
MysteryJKR
Spot Reserved By Isolde
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2000
- Posts
- 1,061
I think it all depends on the guy and there is no definate way of answering the question. I myself. have been with my girl for over a year, I love her with all my heart and I am completely commited to her, and were just together. not married or anything like that. She is my girl and I love her, she is number 1 to me and I would do anything at all for her, i talk to her bout everything and anything. Thats me though. Everyone is different. Some guys just dont want to talk about there feelings. Maybe more time between the two of you just talking. maybe you know each other well but dont really know each other. Ya know what i mean? After 2 years i dont see how he couldnt be very very open with you and feel as though he would like a commited relationship. whatever the reason only he knows it and somehow ya gotta get it out of him. *shrugs*
StevenWill
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2001
- Posts
- 353
Having a guy who doesn't share his feelings for you or anything else will get old very quickly. What's the point of having a partner who is not an intimate, emotional partner. There are lots of women bored to death with long marriages to guys they forced a committment out of. Be careful.
You don't. Your first sentence sets off alarm bells. Starting it off with, "How do you get a guy to...." is a problem.
The more appropriate question is "Why won't my guy commit?" He has made some sort of decision already, i.e. not to commit or more appropriately, not to satisfy your needs or requirements. Both sides are legitimate (your needs and his lack of commitment.)
Sit down with him and without pressure, threats or judgement, find out why he has this position. Once you know that, then the decisions are yours and I guess you have three options.
1. You are not impressed with his reasons and you don't think that the situation will change. Move on.
2. If you believe his position is temporary, you can stay in the relationship and work it out with him.
3. He is unsure about his feelings. He has fears and concerns. Work them out with him.
Just another note. Usually a "lack of commitment" is another way for a guy to tell you that he is perfectly happy with the relationship as it is.
Good luck.
The more appropriate question is "Why won't my guy commit?" He has made some sort of decision already, i.e. not to commit or more appropriately, not to satisfy your needs or requirements. Both sides are legitimate (your needs and his lack of commitment.)
Sit down with him and without pressure, threats or judgement, find out why he has this position. Once you know that, then the decisions are yours and I guess you have three options.
1. You are not impressed with his reasons and you don't think that the situation will change. Move on.
2. If you believe his position is temporary, you can stay in the relationship and work it out with him.
3. He is unsure about his feelings. He has fears and concerns. Work them out with him.
Just another note. Usually a "lack of commitment" is another way for a guy to tell you that he is perfectly happy with the relationship as it is.
Good luck.
Andra_Jenny
Mentally Divergent
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2000
- Posts
- 2,865
Marraige as committment?
Maybe 20 years ago. Now it is no more than a general agreement. Someone will be with you or not depending on their nature. Nowadays it seems to have as much to do with how comfortable you are at being monogamous and just how hard do you want to work for it and how much do you want to sacrifice. These are words than have lost some of their meaning when it comes to marraige and committment.
Maybe 20 years ago. Now it is no more than a general agreement. Someone will be with you or not depending on their nature. Nowadays it seems to have as much to do with how comfortable you are at being monogamous and just how hard do you want to work for it and how much do you want to sacrifice. These are words than have lost some of their meaning when it comes to marraige and committment.
Dump him!
You're worth better than that--if he can't tell you how he feels then that's only going to set you up for bigger problems..believe me I was in a 7 yr relationship with a man and honey it doesn't get easier but more difficult if he can't communicate his feelings now!!
Also, why would you want to force him to commit to you? It's very simple--either he loves you or he doesn't. If he's afraid to commit then he has problems and believe me, there is someone out there who'll adore and love you and who'll want to commit to you. You shouldn't have to beat someone over the head and make a person commit to a relationship--it either happens or it doesn't. Simple as that!
What are his reasons? If he does give you reasons, well hon they are big time excuses and there's only one person he loves--Himself!!
You're worth better than that--if he can't tell you how he feels then that's only going to set you up for bigger problems..believe me I was in a 7 yr relationship with a man and honey it doesn't get easier but more difficult if he can't communicate his feelings now!!
Also, why would you want to force him to commit to you? It's very simple--either he loves you or he doesn't. If he's afraid to commit then he has problems and believe me, there is someone out there who'll adore and love you and who'll want to commit to you. You shouldn't have to beat someone over the head and make a person commit to a relationship--it either happens or it doesn't. Simple as that!
What are his reasons? If he does give you reasons, well hon they are big time excuses and there's only one person he loves--Himself!!
