Calling all assholes!
- Thread starter sister76
- Start date
panty_inspector
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 23, 2004
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- 7,595
I'm a complete and utter fuck-witted asshole!
I steal library book!
I give people the wrong directions!
I fart in elevators!
I steal library book!
I give people the wrong directions!
I fart in elevators!
haggardfman
Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2005
- Posts
- 71
I'm a submissive asshole, i'll criticize you, treat you like a jerk, and not give a shit if you allow me to, then beg for pardon after I do so.
Hope this helps.
Edit: Or wait... do you want actual sphincters? because I, as a whole, encompass more than just the asshole.
Hope this helps.
Hope this helps.
Edit: Or wait... do you want actual sphincters? because I, as a whole, encompass more than just the asshole.
Hope this helps.
Last edited:
sister76
Not a Virgin
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- Jan 1, 1970
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- 1,892
Dude, you're BADASS!
panty_inspector
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 23, 2004
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- 7,595
Fuck you, stench breath!
I'm an asshole!
I play loud music at night when my neighbors are putting their kids to sleep. My grandma got Tivo, and I rigged it so she can only watch pay-per-view porn. I like to sneak into sorority house kitchens late at night and masturbate into the cereal boxes. I tell little kids there's no such thing as Santa Claus and that their parents actually have all their teeth in a little jar in the hall closet. I push old people into the street when a taxi is coming. I have sex with unconscious minors. I sneak into G-rated movies and masturbate loudly.
I just want someone to love me.
J
PS:
I don't really have sex with unconscious minors. I'd never try that with ANYONE below the age of consent.
J
I play loud music at night when my neighbors are putting their kids to sleep. My grandma got Tivo, and I rigged it so she can only watch pay-per-view porn. I like to sneak into sorority house kitchens late at night and masturbate into the cereal boxes. I tell little kids there's no such thing as Santa Claus and that their parents actually have all their teeth in a little jar in the hall closet. I push old people into the street when a taxi is coming. I have sex with unconscious minors. I sneak into G-rated movies and masturbate loudly.
I just want someone to love me.
J
PS:
I don't really have sex with unconscious minors. I'd never try that with ANYONE below the age of consent.
J
sister76
Not a Virgin
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- Jan 1, 1970
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Up yours ya fuckin' cocksucka!
panty_inspector
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 23, 2004
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- 7,595
sister76
Not a Virgin
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- Jan 1, 1970
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- 1,892
Yes, that's it! I think all assholes just need a little lovin', don't they?
sister76
Not a Virgin
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- Jan 1, 1970
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Someone's already up mine, bitch
Well, who is it?
panty_inspector
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 23, 2004
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Pussy Galore
Shut your fucking mouth, Jesus I'm sick and tired of listing to women BITCH!
sister76
Not a Virgin
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- Jan 1, 1970
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- 1,892
Aaaah, now this is the way to be treated on Lit. Thanks! I feel so much better now!
Oh Shut the fuck up who cares what you think anyway?!
Christ if your gonna keep opening that mouth, I'm gonna stick my dick in it and shut you up !
sister76
Not a Virgin
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- Jan 1, 1970
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- 1,892
Damn, you really are an asshole!
mastermars
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
- Posts
- 331
I'm not an asshole yet, but I am willing to learn.
mrtnmoon
I am the fact decider...
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2005
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- 25,027
I'm not really, but women seem to find assholes more attractive so I'm trying to change. get me a sammich, bitch!
thebarber69
Oral Specialist
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2007
- Posts
- 1,622
Hello from Mr. Asshole!
Asshole? Well let us see, just because most of the people I see Now call me Mr. Asshole, well lets see why that is.
I just love at Xmas time, to have kids come up to me and say, ‘Is that you Santa?’ My reply is “NO, I AM FUCKING EVIL SANTA, I EAT RAINDEAR, and Santa is DEAD!”
When a woman is standing on the corner, looking all Priss and proper, and it is raining, I drive into that puddle and splash her, drenching her, as she is probably a cunt anyways, and will never have her pussy that wet.
On the phone, some lovely lady is trying her damndest to sell me something, I reply with “Well if you came here took your clothes off and then asked me to shave your pussy, then eat you, then maybe I would buy your product,” most times I get hung up on.
Most bitches these days all think they do not have an asshole, they just walk around with that nose so high the fucking birds can fly in it and shit, well to those I say, “Every one has an asshole, and they all stink, if you think you do not, then how do you shit? Threw your mouth, but that’s how they talk anyways.”
Now with a woman with big tits, why cannot men just look at those jiggling orbs, fuck who cares what color there eyes are!
Therefore, here is a bitch, wanting to know if I am an asshole, well let us see, just because I would tell you to fuck yourself, stick your fist up your pussy. Alternatively, get a life and fuck a duck! Does this mean I am a total Asshole, but guess what I am, that is why they do call me Mr. Asshole, and cunt you can do it as well. Have a good day, Bitch!
Asshole? Well let us see, just because most of the people I see Now call me Mr. Asshole, well lets see why that is.
I just love at Xmas time, to have kids come up to me and say, ‘Is that you Santa?’ My reply is “NO, I AM FUCKING EVIL SANTA, I EAT RAINDEAR, and Santa is DEAD!”
When a woman is standing on the corner, looking all Priss and proper, and it is raining, I drive into that puddle and splash her, drenching her, as she is probably a cunt anyways, and will never have her pussy that wet.
On the phone, some lovely lady is trying her damndest to sell me something, I reply with “Well if you came here took your clothes off and then asked me to shave your pussy, then eat you, then maybe I would buy your product,” most times I get hung up on.
Most bitches these days all think they do not have an asshole, they just walk around with that nose so high the fucking birds can fly in it and shit, well to those I say, “Every one has an asshole, and they all stink, if you think you do not, then how do you shit? Threw your mouth, but that’s how they talk anyways.”
Now with a woman with big tits, why cannot men just look at those jiggling orbs, fuck who cares what color there eyes are!
Therefore, here is a bitch, wanting to know if I am an asshole, well let us see, just because I would tell you to fuck yourself, stick your fist up your pussy. Alternatively, get a life and fuck a duck! Does this mean I am a total Asshole, but guess what I am, that is why they do call me Mr. Asshole, and cunt you can do it as well. Have a good day, Bitch!
sister76
Not a Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 1, 1970
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- 1,892
Hmm... you're a guy, but you're a cunt? I thought that term was reserved for women.
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