"But we are no longer together ... I just live

[Aphrodisiac]

with her because at the moment I can not afford my own place. But, really I am not even in love with her and as for sex ... it does not exsist.... really....... "


This sort of scenerio , from men I have heard more then once ....

My question is ... do these men who use these " excuses" , do they really think a woman is actually going to go out with them and carry on a " dating relationship " when they live with their soon to be " ex girl friend " or at least that is what they say .... cause in reality they are never going to leave her ... and not only the girl friend but the idea that they can not afford their own place... do they not realize they sound so pathetic ...

I was just wondering about this ... opinions....


Thanks

 

[Pamela]

If he can't afford his own place....he's not worth it! The bum!

 

[Aphrodisiac]

If he can't afford his own place....he's not worth it! The bum!

Pamela,

I agree with you - some how the idea of a man not being able to take care of him self ... some how is rather weak.

 

[JerseyBoy]

with her because at the moment I can not afford my own place. But, really I am not even in love with her and as for sex ... it does not exsist.... really....... "

That's the worst pickup line I've heard in years!

but seriously I just can't imagine anyone saying this and expecting anyone to believe it...it's quite pathetic actually

heya missy A!

 

[Pagliacci]

Guys probably wouldn't come up with things like that unless it didn't work on occasion.

Break up and move in with a friend if things are so bad as they claim.

The things some do to get laid.

 

[intrigued]

These situations are indeed common, and they are often "for real". There are those that are just playing us, but we can usually tell the difference, can't we?

I don't think it means someone is a bum, but I do think one needs to prove that they are sincere in ending the relationship before you play with them. Finances are often what keeps us in place, when all we want is to go. My marriage ended years before we parted, and though finances weren't the sole reason for the delay, it was a huge part of it.

 

[Lancecastor]

I've heard that one a couple of times myself.

I'm not sure who's the bigger fool in a case like that....the liar, or the person who buys it.

Caveat fucktor.

 

[JerseyBoy]

I don't think it means someone is a bum, but I do think one needs to prove that they are sincere in ending the relationship before you play with them. Finances are often what keeps us in place, when all we want is to go. My marriage ended years before we parted, and though finances weren't the sole reason for the delay, it was a huge part of it.

this is all true and point taken, but I think that there is a big difference between marriage and a girlfriend. We all know how relationships can flip flop at a moments notice and a girl would have to be stupid not to expect a flame to lite if the two ex-lovers were still living together.

But then again, how often do we do stupid things in the rules of attraction.

As long as he is living there he is seriously affecting chances of any new 'serious' relationship

IMHO

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Re: Re: "But we are no longer together ... I just live

but seriously I just can't imagine anyone saying this and expecting anyone to believe it...it's quite pathetic actually

heya missy A!

Jerseyboy,

I know what you mean ... that idea crossed my mind. Why would anyone admit to such a situation , maybe looking for sympathy. That is how they pick up the women... or some thing.


Hi .... handsome....



intrigued,

I don't think it means someone is a bum, but I do think one needs to prove that they are sincere in ending the relationship before you play with them. Finances are often what keeps us in place, when all we want is to go. My marriage ended years before we parted, and though finances weren't the sole reason for the delay, it was a huge part of it.

But , some how the idea of a man ... a grown man ... actually telling people such a scenerio ... its not helping his case. Because some how its not very appealing when he goes on about not being able to afford his own living arrangements and then at the same time trying to pick up a woman...you know ???
I don't think real women would fall for such a situation. Just my opinion.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

this is all true and point taken, but I think that there is a big difference between marriage and a girlfriend. We all know how relationships can flip flop at a moments notice and a girl would have to be stupid not to expect a flame to lite if the two ex-lovers were still living together.

But then again, how often do we do stupid things in the rules of attraction.

As long as he is living there he is seriously affecting chances of any new 'serious' relationship

IMHO

BINGO !


That is what I was trying to saying .. but you said it better.

 

[Pamela]

I agree with you guys on that one!

But, for me, it just seems a little on the pathetic side that a grown man cannot support himself. And, I'm not talking marriage. That can get sticky.

But, if he really can't afford it, doesn't he have other friends? I'm sure he could live somewhere else, but is choosing not to.

I live alone, I'm broke! But, I'm not living with an ex!!

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Re: I agree with you guys on that one!

But, for me, it just seems a little on the pathetic side that a grown man cannot support himself. And, I'm not talking marriage. That can get sticky.

But, if he really can't afford it, doesn't he have other friends? I'm sure he could live somewhere else, but is choosing not to.

I live alone, I'm broke! But, I'm not living with an ex!!

Right on ...

 

[symplesimon]

Re: Re: I agree with you guys on that one!

Right on ...

What if he is the one earning the money and making decent money but cant afford her up keep as well as his? He still wants to support her, but cant afford 2 rents and she lets him do this....is she a bum?

 

[JerseyBoy]

Re: Re: Re: I agree with you guys on that one!

What if he is the one earning the money and making decent money but cant afford her up keep as well as his? He still wants to support her, but cant afford 2 rents and she lets him do this....is she a bum?

If she broke up with him (I dont want to fuck you anymore but can you still pay the rent, and oh, btw this is Greg) then he is a big fucking loser!

If he broke up with her (I dont want to fuck you anymore because I just dont like you anymore, but you can hang around and ill pay the rent and oh, btw this is Marcia), then she is a loser for hanging around with someone who dumped her and now pities her.

 

[calypso_21]

with her because at the moment I can not afford my own place. But, really I am not even in love with her and as for sex ... it does not exsist.... really....... "

I heard this last weekend and unfortunately I'd had way to much to drink...I laughed right in his face. Apparently he didn't appreciate that. Fucker...like that would get him somewhere. My girlfriend laughed for a full five minutes straight after that scenario.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Re: Re: "But we are no longer together ... I just live

I heard this last weekend and unfortunately I'd had way to much to drink...I laughed right in his face. Apparently he didn't appreciate that. Fucker...like that would get him somewhere. My girlfriend laughed for a full five minutes straight after that scenario.

I did not laugh but I think it was very obvious by my facial expressions that I thought he was a " loser".




calypso ... you are too cute.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Re: Re: Re: I agree with you guys on that one!

What if he is the one earning the money and making decent money but cant afford her up keep as well as his? He still wants to support her, but cant afford 2 rents and she lets him do this....is she a bum?

Hi symplesimon,

Welcome to Lit.

And , is this particular case , he is not the one earning anything.


Hope you enjoy your stay here , and have fun.

 

[calypso_21]

Re: Re: Re: "But we are no longer together ... I just live

I did not laugh but I think it was very obvious by my facial expressions that I thought he was a " loser".




calypso ... you are too cute.

Thanks, right back at you! One too many stupid lines and laughter just immediately follows. I like to find the good in things

 

[Anne Waters]

with her because at the moment I can not afford my own place. But, really I am not even in love with her and as for sex ... it does not exsist.... really....... "


This sort of scenerio , from men I have heard more then once ....

My question is ... do these men who use these " excuses" , do they really think a woman is actually going to go out with them and carry on a " dating relationship " when they live with their soon to be " ex girl friend " or at least that is what they say .... cause in reality they are never going to leave her ... and not only the girl friend but the idea that they can not afford their own place... do they not realize they sound so pathetic ...

I was just wondering about this ... opinions....


Thanks

I've got a friend who is in just this situation. Will she listen to me? Of course not. Like the guy's ex is really going to let him stay in the house if there's nothing between them. Riiiiiight.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Okay, a guy who is short on cash and has to live with an ex until he can get back on his feet is a "loser"? More often I have seen the scenario where the woman is the one who can't afford to move out.

Assuming it is a temp situation (not been going on for a year or more), then it is understandable for both genders. But I do think women are less understanding of a man who cannot support himself on his own. You may think it lame, or that he is a loser, but such situations happen beyond people's control - especially right now with the economy the way it is.

What is important is to remember this is a temporary circumstance. Many people, losers and non-losers get into these situations from time to time. You can't really judge a person's "loser" status based on what their financial situation is at any point in time - or even if it is a long term situation. I know people who are losers that have always been comfortable financially, and others who are definite "winners" who have always been poor.

It is interesting that women don't want to be judged solely for their outer appearance and want men to get to know their "inner beauty", yet along comes a guy, temporarily down on his luck financially, and women are all too eager to judge him based on something almost totally external to who he is.

If men preferring a slender woman is shallow, then is not a woman preferring a man capable of earning a good living also shallow?

I am not at all surprised though, just a little dismayed at the hypocrisy. These are our genes talking; women are genetically programmed to look for mates who can provide for them and their children - so men who don't seem like they can provide are "losers". Men on the other hand are genetically programmed to look for women who are healthy, fertile and able to bear children - much (most? all?) of the male's perception of "beauty" has to do with those factors. Any woman who doesn't meet those criteria is therefore less desireable and less attractive.

It is when men and women understand why they feel these emotions and think these thoughts that they can, if they so desire, mature beyond them - to one point or another.

Personally I still find "beautiful" women more attractive - all else being equal - but whether she is attractive or not, once I find out she is immature emotionally and/or mentally, then I avoid her like the plague. BTDT.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: Re: "But we are no longer together ... I just live

I've got a friend who is in just this situation. Will she listen to me? Of course not. Like the guy's ex is really going to let him stay in the house if there's nothing between them. Riiiiiight.

I see it all the time. The man (or woman) is already all moved in, he is in a situation where he can afford to live, living with a person he is fairly comfortable with. What's the problem?

I know both men and women who live in such situations, or just live with roomates of the opposite gender because it is much less expensive. If I didn't hate having a roomate so much I would myself - but I would rather pay twice the rent than have to share my personal space.

I find the comment suggesting the guy move in with a friend. Why? He is already living with a friend. Not all couples who break up their romantic relationship end up being enemies, nor does continued close phsyical presence mean they have quick fucks for old time's sake either.

Sheesh people, get with it, it is the 21st century!

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: I agree with you guys on that one!

But, for me, it just seems a little on the pathetic side that a grown man cannot support himself.

Hmmm... let's see, I am almost 50, I haven't had a job in over a year, I do manage to pay my bills, but only because I was smart enough to save some money before being laid off. Another year of this economy and I am going to have to go beg my brother for a job and move out of state. I guess that makes me pathetic?

I live alone, I'm broke! But, I'm not living with an ex!!

Good for you - you can afford it, some people can't. - big deal.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

I would understand if a man was in dire straits and he was living with his ex ... in order to help out his situation.

But when a man who has no job and has no real motivation , rather then start supporting himself and get himself going ... he just stays in the situation ... that does make him a loser in my eyes.

And , I am sorry but when a man comes up to me and goes on and on about himself.. saying this and that .. and then breaks out with .. " but you know I am living with an ex .... blah ... blah ... "


Some how a part of me sense a bad vibe .... some thing is not right in there ... some where.

But that is simply my opinion. ...

 

[Burning Chrome]

I've been in that situation, we rented a nice two bedroom apartment that we could afford together, with a 1 year lease.

It didn't work out, but as soon as I started bringing other ladies to "our" apartment she really wanted out, and I got a new roomy for a couple of months until the lease was up.

It is a shitty situation for all concerned, but an easily rectified one.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Re: Re: I agree with you guys on that one!

Hmmm... let's see, I am almost 50, I haven't had a job in over a year, I do manage to pay my bills, but only because I was smart enough to save some money before being laid off.

Good for you -

- big deal.